The Tyranny of Perfection

Is Good Better than Best?

“There was a man who tried to produce a perfect poem and a perfect picture. He thought each new effort was better than the previous one so he destroyed all but the last one of each. When a critic said he was a greater artist than poet, he destroyed the one remaining poem. When another critic said the painting transcended the artist, he destroyed himself.”?

- New Yorker, 1946

"The Tyranny of Perfection" is an age-old concept that has dawned on me recently, during reflection sessions. This parable reveals the insidious nature of striving for perfection and the toll it can take on one's psyche.?

However, what’s more captivating is how we willingly volunteer to pay homage to this ideal. Like a cunning trickster, perfectionism masks itself as a rather noble ambition, something we should all aspire for. Something which makes us worthy of recognition, love, and success. And before we know it, we have accepted the idea as our own.?

Unless one day we offer a second glance and realize - perfectionism is pure masochism disguised in alluring fine silk. An affliction causing needless pain and suffering in many ways:

Perfection sets you up – for failure

Think of the last time that a friend described a movie in extravagant terms like “life changing”, “one for the centuries”, “transcending boundaries” etc. Nine times out of ten, you would have found the movie to be “overrated” and judged your friend for their hyperbolic nature.

Well, until your friend was raving about an athlete from Cleveland, who went on to deliver on the generational hype, and then some! But I digress.

Perfection stands in stark contrast to keeping low or even reasonable expectations. Ergo, the bar for success is unexceptionally high. Even if you return from barely 100mts away from the summit, you are still deemed a failure.

And I know - failures are the stepping stones to success. But that doesn’t mean, you start installing booby traps all across your chosen path.

Playing minesweeper IRL isn’t an advisable strategy, if you wish to live a life not stricken by fear.

Perfection is brittle

According to Japanese legend, in the late 15th century, Japanese emperor Ashikaga Yoshimasa sent a cracked tea bowl to China to undergo repairs. Upon its return, Yoshimasa was dismayed to find that it had been mended with unsightly metal staples. Incensed by this, he prompted Japanese craftsmen to find a more aesthetically pleasing way of repairing broken items.

And the art of Kintsugi was born. Kintsugi is the Japanese art form of mending broken pottery pieces back together with gold.

The more we invest in chasing perfection, the more brittle and fleeting that success is, even if achieved. Imagine you are an author, who spent a decade perfecting a book on your expertly researched thesis. And yet, your entire palace of illusions came crashing down with one negative review on Amazon - on day 1!?

Perfection lies in the eyes of the beholder. It would have made sense to chase a mirage, if it were the absolute truth. Unfortunately, mirages are anything, but the truth.

Perfection makes you stuck

Is it good enough for the world to see?

Maybe one more tweak and it will be perfect.

What if I could have done more, and I didn’t?

Sounds familiar? We all have been there at one point or other, in our lives. Be it something as grand as writing the end to an epic fictional saga (looking at you George RR Martin) or as banal as buying a pair of shoes while shopping, perfectionism and decisiveness don’t see eye to eye.

Think of perfection as quicksand, which can render you immobile.?

But what’s the alternative then?

Satisficing!?

Coined by Nobel Laureate Herbert Simon in 1957, satisficing means choosing the acceptable option rather than the optimal one. It combines the words “satisfy” and “suffice”.

Let’s assume you are planning a perfect Sunday. Your key criteria are -?

• spending meaningful time with friends,?
• indulging in fun activities, and,?
• eating soul food.?

Let’s say you decided to organize a potluck + board games’ house party, inviting a bunch of friends over. All of you had a fantastic time and went to bed, happy as a clam.

The next morning, an office colleague (let’s call him Sujoy) tells you about his excursion to a nearby town to attend a music concert with his friends. In his words - “The drive was amazing and so was the concert. And later, we ended the day with a scrumptious meal at a roadside dhaba”.?

Apart from the momentary hatred that you just felt for Sujoy and his friends (“as if he has any”), your reaction to this story would depend on whether you are a satisficer or a maximizer.

If you are a satisficer, considering all of your criteria were met to a reasonable degree, and you derived a lot of satisfaction from an evening well spent, you will feel happy for Sujoy and move on.?

However, if you are a maximizer aka perfectionist, you would curse yourself for not having researched enough to find that there was a music concert in the neighboring town. You would curse yourself for wasting an opportunity of having the PERFECT Sunday.”

And God forbid, if you have to make a selection amidst a litany of options.

That’s also why, everyone and their dog is perennially on dating apps ??

A good enough end to this edition is with this quote from “The School of Life” by Alain de Botton (would highly recommend):

“It takes a great deal of bravery and skill to keep even a very ordinary life going. To persevere through the challenges of love, work, and children is quietly heroic. We should perhaps sometimes step back in order to acknowledge in a non-starry-eyed but very real way that our lives are good enough—and that this is, in itself, already a very impressive achievement.”

Till next time! ??

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PPS: Have a reflective day :)