Two Year Check In Life After the Corporate World

I have just completed two years of life since I stopped working for General Dynamics in March of 2019. It has been quite the ride in those two years. Many have asked my experiences as they continue their journey and look towards their future. It’s hard to think long term in a world where the next business commitment is due in thirty days. Here is my experience so far and I hope something in here rings true for you.

The first year, 2019, was filled with music, volunteering, health club, traveling to other countries, and time with friends. It was what many describe as retiring to something. They always said you can’t retire from something or you won’t succeed. The weeks were filled with music gigs, dinners and lunches with friends because you actually do them and not just say “let’s do lunch”. I cruised, volunteered, helped friends with projects, lake trips, and the thrill of the first time in a long time not having a Monday coming.

The second year, 2020, was changed a lot by COVID. In the first half of the year, the music and church went virtual (live music doesn’t work over Zoom); health club closed, volunteering went virtual and seeing anyone socially was out. We stayed in the house for weeks and I felt as if I knew what retiring to nothing would have been like. The lack of activity and the uncertainty of COVID was crushing. I did not enjoy it.

By the second half of 2020, we had adapted to safely having a life under COVID balancing risk and rewards. Travel still happened but was inside the United States by car. We visited over 30 states and many outdoor National Parks but no inside entertainment when you’re social distancing on the road. Lots of takeout food. With accommodations available everywhere and cheap, we had our most unstructured travel ever. In 2020, the new road rules were avoiding riots, wildfires and COVID hotspots. I’m not sure the rental agency wants to have us rent anymore since we put over 13.5k miles on two rental cars. We still missed the time with friends as lunches and dinners were off the table. We made the best of it.

With two years in the rearview mirror, some observations I have learned. Some more profound than others:

• Take the first six months and do very little that is structured. You are in a big adjustment and it takes time. I did a lot of one-time volunteering so I wouldn’t be trapped into a schedule. Lot of lunches and dinners with friends and family. Take a trip for no reason. Decompress.
• Most days are good but life doesn’t change magically just because you don’t work a regular job. Life without a corporate commitment is certainly better but it doesn’t stop boredom, lack of patience, and having a bad day. The good news is you have more control to put yourself in a better place but if you don’t you will have a bad day. You lose the excuse that its someone else’s fault. This surprises many people who somehow expected it all to be good.
• Something I’m better about and some things not so much. I have made some new friends; I have the time to talk and not in such a rush so better with small delays. I really have less patience with negative people. I think this comes from the ability to set my own schedule a little more. When you work you can’t control who you have to deal with and every office has those people you really want to punt into next week. The statement you can’t change someone who doesn’t see a problem with their actions is so true. Pick your battles. It’s OK to be quiet.
• The news just keeps being negative – the subjects change a little but the theme is constant. If you miss a couple of weeks you don’t really miss anything. You can be well informed from a few articles and skip the never-ending 24-hour cable shows. Gone from my life and better for it. Turns out news people are just like the people in the office you tried to avoid before COVID only they have lights, makeup, and a sound for their never-ending breaking news stories.
• Add hang out with 20-somethings to your mix of friends! They are old enough to be adults and young enough to still have a lot of fun. We took a group to the lake and the beach and had way more fun than we expected. You find joy in places you aren’t expecting. Meet people who aren’t like you.
• A good friend of mine moved to the Williamsburg area in a retirement community. She enlightened me on the three types of people they meet

Never Do’s – They are invited to everything and never accept the invitation. They are relaxing and comfortable just staying home.

Always Do’s – They’re up for anything from serving at a food bank, dinner parties or traveling the world. They love experiences and nothing is too good or beneath them. Having fun at all of it.

PIPs – These are the problem children and although it usually goes away in about 6 months although some can’t kick it. PIP is Previously Important Person. Apparently, no one really cares if you were Captain this or corporate big wig that. Now they are just people with hobbies and families. It’s a big adjustment changing to a life where you have to be a friendly person. Some are out of practice.

• There must be a thousand Execs to Watch, Honor, Hall of Fame, Up and Coming, and any other words you can find. Reading LinkedIn sometimes sounds like the high school who’s who book from our childhood. Seems to be awfully closely tied to advertising in the trade rags giving these never-ending awards. Nothing against any of these people but it becomes funny after a point. I do like to see some of the people I mentored as they grow in their careers.
• The world is full of great people and almost none of them participate in social media except to share humor and pictures. In our travels across the US, we met great kind people. They weren’t angry or bitter about every little political or corporate move. They were living their lives the best they could. Having the time to stop, talk, and listen is priceless and one of the best gifts of this chapter in my life.
• The US has so many places to see and lifestyles that work for the people. They are all good in their own way. Some are hurried and busy and others are quiet and laid back. Everyone doesn’t need to live like me and it’s still OK. Sometimes I think we have lost live and let live. One of my rules from before and after corporate was "Just because you don't do it my way doesn't make it wrong".
• I didn’t realize that open spaces varied so much and were all beautiful in their own ways. In one part of the country, we drove for over 50 miles without any sign of people, housing or business. What I would have once seen as boring is now an experience in art.

What’s up for 2021, well since we now have a vaccine, I am looking forward to getting somethings back on track. However, I hope everyone learns to leave some things behind. I think lots of us have decided changes are in order with both work and home. I see families that are closer than ever and many have learned to enjoy a quieter lifestyle (after it was forced upon us). And yes, we’re getting back out and having fun in 2021. This reassessment of work-life balance might be the silver lining to this whole horrible mess.

My adult sons have been in the basement for a year. I always said no adult son of mine was going to hang out in the basement all day. Since COVID, I have learned that my youngest can continue his cyber degree full time and my oldest just got a promotion to a new division in his company - all while sitting in the basement. Who knew? As the facts change so must our responses. Truthfully, we have loved having this extra time as a family.

I gave up a 14-year music position at my church. I have been playing every week since 2007. Love the music and love the musicians but it was time to move on. It wasn’t what I expected to do. It hard to know when to move on. A great friend told me that “winners never quit” isn’t true, its “winners know when to quit”. We have all been in situations where quitting is the right answer for your long-term plans. He helped me realize I needed some changes in my life. The fact is we always need good mentors to help us see the way. Their family has been a blessing in our life.

Took a new position within the Red Cross as the Disaster Action Team (DAT) Coordinator for Loudoun and Prince William counties in Virginia. Its volunteer but gives me a chance to lead a great team that responds 24/7 to disasters, such as house fires, throughout the area. I guess I found the job I love because it doesn’t pay and I still show up even when they call me out at three in the morning.

I‘m in the process of getting vaccinated and can’t wait to physically see my friends and family. I will hug my 86-year-old father for the first time in a year this month. Can’t think of a better thing I would rather do in 2021.

Please feel free to reach out if you want to talk or actually do lunch.