Two weeks ago...

I was inspired to start a series, under the hashtag, #vetsgrowthmindset . Our current world finds us in a lot of ‘noise’ and confusion, with so much unknowns. Our current state can only compound some of the challenges that our transitioning service member and veteran community face. I have been reached out to by several in our community who are in ‘crisis mode’ and are feeling isolated, unsure of their path forward, and overall, defeated. I wanted to give them an opportunity to bounce back from those overwhelming feelings of helplessness and defeat and challenge themselves through a series of empowerment and encouraging words, to challenges questions, to coaching exercises. This series focused on their overall mindset. The main purpose is for each and every one who can benefit from a changed mindset to focus on growth and development (moving forward) rather than staying stagnant and static (stuck!). In a time with so much uncertainty, we can ALL use a little bit of encouragement and motivation!

In this article, I will summarize the journey of adapting a growth mindset for the first 15 days. I encourage you to follow along for the next 15 days and share with those who you think can benefit!

Day 1 – You are being presented with two choices: Evolve or Repeat.

You can choose to stay within your comfort zone – your fixed mindset -repeat.

OR

You can choose to learn – a growth mindset – and evolve!

Research suggests that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. Consider that your true potential is actually unknown - that it is impossible to foresee what can be accomplished with years of passion, toil, and training. What TRULY is ‘meeting your potential’? Do you think that this can limit your growth? Does this idea change your own personal script of yourself?

Day 2 – We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges.

Challenge you to consider your cognitive habits. Think of a situation you were challenged with recently and how you OVERCAME. Consider why you overcame. Consider your path to success in your thinking. How could you use this path to success to change future outcomes for yourself?

Day 3 – Passion. 

With having a growth mindset, you are more open to the idea of ‘passion’ and a small seed of interest could one day grow into the kind of passion that energizes your whole life. Consider this idea that passion can be created over time. It starts with interest. Considering where you are right now – what interests you? What do you spend time deliberately reading and researching about? What are you curious in learning more about or being more involved in or with?

Day 4 - Self-limiting beliefs!

Are your beliefs holding you back? Do you believe things about yourself like…

“I don’t have time” or “I can’t because I am not…” or “I don’t want to ask for what I want because what if I get rejected?... or “I can’t trust people because I’ve been betrayed before.”

Identifying and acknowledging your self-limiting beliefs is the first step in taking back your OWN power. Blame can leave you stuck and hinder growth. True sustainable success is achieved from the inside out by making the choice to work on your own belief system – empowerment!

Today, I challenge you to reflect on some of the self-limiting beliefs you have in your life right now. What beliefs do you have that are holding you back?

Day 5 – The more reflective you are, the more effective you are!

We can reframe through self-reflection!

Challenge you to self-reflect! Think about your current state and what’s going good and not so good. Identify your strengths and weaknesses in those areas. Ask yourself what actions can you take RIGHT now, TODAY to place yourself in the best position possible. Identify where you could use help and of course, use that opportunity to come back to your network and let us know how we can help!

Day 6 – An amazing thing happens when you stop seeking approval and validation: you find it.

People are naturally drawn like magnets to those who know who they are and cannot be shaken!

When you prioritize approval over learning, you sacrifice your own potential for growth. When we urgently aim to please other people, we’re seeking approval of self from outside sources.

When others’ acceptance of you impacts how you make decisions about where to spend your time, you lose awareness of what’s important to you, what drives you, and what makes you happy. You might feel stuck doing work you don’t particularly enjoy and continue habits that are counterproductive. If this feels true for you, it’s time to focus your energy on getting in touch with what really matters to you.

Focus on YOU today!

Day 7 – Stay positive. Attitude is everything.

Part of developing a growth mindset is taking true ownership of your attitude! Acknowledge yourself as someone who possesses a growth mentality and be proud it let it guide you through your transition and beyond.

Today, stop, and think about your attitude! How has your attitude been impacting you the last several days to weeks? Have you been able to have a positive attitude despite some of the challenges? How can you change your attitude to create better days and outcomes for yourself? Reflect and most importantly, decide to take ownership in your attitude today and through the remainder of the 30 day challenge!

Day 8 – Lockdown with Thought Leader – Destinee Prete

Today, I wanted to share an interview I did on thought leadership earlier this week and how individuals and leaders can use this time to be more effective in their own personal pursuits and in their teams.

Your down time CAN be productive! I talked about how!

This is the perfect time to GROW!

Video here: https://youtu.be/9R1FCXFImns

Day 9 – Everything always takes time to grow. Your character, your learning, your friendships, your relationships. Everything.

Stop to consider your current relationships!

Not just with your significant other, but with all the people in your circle. And speaking of that circle, you should always be seeking to expand and GROW your circle - that’s a quality of opening yourself up to a mindset focused on growth!

When we have a fixed mindset, we are setting ourselves AND our relationships up for a hard, bumpy journey. In a fixed mindset, we set expectations and are often very disappointed when those expectations of others are not met. The relationship will often stop there. With a growth mindset, you will not run away from that disappointment or pain, but you recognize it as a natural, potentially inevitable step in the way to reaching good, solid relationship outcomes.

Open perspectives = new experiences = learning & growth = more fulfilled life!

Allow yourself to - Release your expectations of others and assume good intentions! I’m not saying lower yourself, but challenge your way of thinking about what you expect from others.

How do you think this would impact all of your current AND future relationships? What have you learned from your past ones?

Day 10 - Fixed mindsets are mindsets that will push you towards ‘fitting the mold’.

Molds are limits! Trying to fit into a mold forces you to become ‘less’ of who you are and what you stand for. You will get rid of those pieces of YOU that make you different in order to fit yourself into that specific mold… and when it comes to YOU, you can’t afford to lose an ounce or an edge of yourself. You have to become less of yourself to fit into those limits – that mold! The mold you are trying to fit yourself into can be a suffocating limit, keeping you from ALL of your potential and more!

In the military, we face this ALL THE TIME! In our transition, it feels like we are faced with it OFTEN too!

With a growth mindset, you will learn from your attempts at fitting the mold and realize that you are uniquely YOU. You will also realize that as you continue to learn and grow and with it, your perspective of that mold will change – you will see it as being limiting & restricting.

Today, I want you to consider – What molds or norms do you find yourself trying to fit into? If this no longer existed, what would you stop doing or START doing?

Day 11 - Perspective is KEY to learning and growth!.

Today I want to challenge your potential thoughts with questions you can START asking yourself -

Thought: I tried it, I didn’t succeed. I can’t do it.

Ask yourself: Could I try a different strategy or approach?

Thought: I’m not smart. Wasn’t born that way.

Ask yourself: Haven’t others tried and succeeded through their efforts and hard work?

Thought: I don’t know how or if I’ll ever get there...

Ask yourself: Could I make a plan to get there? How could I motivate myself to follow the plan? What’s the first step?

Notice that these thoughts are dead-end statements. Notice the questions open the path and create a fork in the road.

Day 12 – Having the right mindset & attitude can literally change your life.

Today is a reminder!

I want each of you to give yourself permission to take in what is going on around you and to you. Give yourself the time you need to breathe. Give yourself the time you need to gain the courage to move forward on your future. Give yourself the opportunity to self reflect and define your truths. Spend time with your family. Live in the moment(s)!

If you are in your military transition, you aren’t alone in your fears and your thoughts. The future is already uncertain in transition and now it is compounded by our global situation. But realize, you are NOT alone! When you’re ready, you have an amazing team of resources and professionals willing to help you tackle that next step! You do not have to worry about tomorrow but better yet, be excited and empowered by tomorrow.

It starts with your attitude and your mindset.

Right now, those two things are EVERYTHING!

Day 13 – Spheres of influence coaching exercise.

Today we will consider our spheres of influence! Imagine you, yourself - control - being in the middle... Consider the circle that goes around the core (you) to be your sphere of influence... Consider the circle that goes around the sphere of influence to be everything else that you can’t influence or control.

Now, consider all of the issues and challenges that are currently overwhelming you! Next, consider if those overwhelming challenges are something that you can: 1) control 2) influence (have partial control) or, 3) not influence (have no control).

Next, for those items. You can 1) control, TAKE ACTION. Next, for those items you can 2) influence, write down the steps you will take and hold yourself accountable by assigning deadlines to complete. And, last, for the items you 3) have no influence, strike through those challenges. It is important to acknowledge that you cannot impact those challenges because they are beyond your sphere of influence! It’s important to expend your energy where you can and not focus on what is beyond your control.

A simple coaching exercise that can give you ACTIONABLE tasks and CONTROL today.

Day 14 – Actually, I can.

A fixed mindset enables feelings of powerlessness and learned helplessness. In contrast, a growth mindset underpins feelings of empowerment and drives motivation and achievement.

Simply put, challenging yourself to believe you can is really the foundation of growth mindset.

Yesterday, day 13, I challenged you to complete a coaching exercise called the Spheres of Influence. Now that you’ve had time to reflect on your spheres, you are now equipped with the tools of empowerment! 

Part of empowerment that is critical to success is self-trust! You must trust yourself and must stop self-doubt. We previously addressed self-limiting beliefs and it is these that cast doubt! If you can dream it up, you have the power to make it happen! You must learn to trust yourself and through that you will experience growth!

Today and forward, when things get overwhelming, first focus on your spheres of influence and what you can control and influence, and then, empower yourself through trust. And when you’re empowered, others around you will be too!

Day 15 – This compilation of the last 2 weeks towards a growth mindset!

I hope you can utilize this article and the #vetsgrowthmindset hashtag series to encourage and empower you through this current time. If you utilize these tools, you will find that you are much more open to experiences and will find the opportunity to learn when you previously might have just focused on your ‘failures’ and ‘setbacks.’

Let me know how myself and my expansive network of resources and professionals can help you get to your next step.

Much luck and love,

Dr. Prete/Coach Destinee