Two Ways to Dive Deep Into Gratitude

Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse.

- Henry Van Dyke

Happy Thanksgiving! Personally, this is probably my favorite holiday. Except, maybe 4th?of July, when I can blow stuff up.

This Thanksgiving feels a little different to me though. Anxiety seems to be in the air.?Listening to the news, talking to clients, to family members, to friends.

People are worried about the economy. Worried about politics. Worried about social ills. Worried about family. Worried.

I worry. I’m experiencing my best business year ever. I’m worried it won’t continue. I worry about my kids. I worry that I’ll never become an expert husband. I worry about what I’m going to do when I grow up. I worry about getting enough done. I worry about missing opportunities. I worry about things I’ve said and if I should have said them differently. I worry.

There is a lot to worry about.

And we’re doing it. Hard. We’re hard worriers.

Just speaking for myself, all this worry doesn’t seem to help much.

How about you?

Sometimes, I just need to jam a broomstick between the spokes of the worry wheel of my life. Just let whoever is pedaling the worry bike of my mind and heart faceplant.

So, let’s do that together.

What really stops worry is Gratitude. That’s the broomstick.

I’m learning to like gratitude. It was something that I used to do because I had to. But once I started practicing with it – I learned it actually wasn’t that bad.

In fact, it turns out to be a pretty good thing. I just delved into the Oracle of Google to see what was to be said about gratitude. Here’s a sampling. Apparently, according to science, Gratitude will:

• Improve your Health:?Robert Emmons of the University of California Davis and Dr. Michael McCullough of the University of Miami found that when people practice gratitude, they show dramatic improvements in health. They also worked out more and slept longer.
• Create Happiness: Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania found that practicing gratitude produced measurably happier people.
• Help You Manage Better:?Researchers at the Wharton School, also at the University of Pennsylvania, found that managers who thanked people were likely to find that those same people would work harder as a result.

And so on. The interesting thing is, for each of these studies, gratitude was practiced?first. Good health, happiness, better employee performance all followed.

Think about that. That is interesting.

How To Practice Gratitude

As it turns out – it is pretty easy to do. In the studies above there are two main ways to practice gratitude:

1. Create a Gratitude List or Journal:?Personally, most mornings, I write out three things that I’m grateful for. Other people wait until the end of the day and reflectively write about what they are grateful for from that day.

It doesn’t matter. The point is regularly making a habit of recording what you are grateful for.

1. Tell People “Thank You”:?This might be a note. It might be verbal. Different forms of telling might have different levels of impact. The main thing is to learn to say, “Thank you.” Regularly and a lot.

I’ll add a third. Which isn’t too far different from the above. But when I’m really “stuck” in a funky attitude, especially when that attitude is about a situation or another person, I create a super list of gratitudes.

1. Funky Mood Busting Gratitude List:?Write 10 things that I’m grateful for about that individual or situation. If 10 doesn’t seem to create a shift for you – force yourself to get to 20.

So far, though, by the time I get to 10 I’m in a pretty different state of mind.

I’m not in a funky mood right now. But I’m going to write 10 things I’m grateful for. Because I can. I’m grateful for:

• My wife, Marta.?She patiently allows me to slowly wander around my learning curves – occasionally making upward progress. She’s beautiful, creative, caring, hospitable and she keeps getting better.
• My daughter, Tirzah. She was born with Downs Syndrome. We heard the diagnosis when my wife was pregnant. We were crushed. But she’s here. And I’m not crushed. I’m happy to see her. She’s so healthy, such a great kid. She smiles so easily. She makes me smile. I now look forward to who she’ll grow into.
• My oldest son, Elijah: I love Elijah’s gentle heart. He’s smart as a whip, articulate, a visionary, a hero at heart. I love the giant wall-sized bear he made out of paper plates.
• My second son, Gideon: I love Gideon’s unstoppableness. He’s focused, he figures things out, he’s never afraid to tackle a challenge, and usually insists on it.
• My Creator:?I’m grateful for all that I’ve been given. I’m grateful for a world that is full of opportunity. I’m grateful for grace and an opportunity to try again and to grow.
• The Wampanoag Tribe:?These are the folks who helped the Pilgrims not die another winter. They celebrated the first Thanksgiving with the Pilgrims. I’m grateful for their early hospitality, for the knowledge that they shared.
• The Inupiat People of Alaska:?These are my wife’s mother’s family. I’ve been welcomed with nikipaq (Native food) in many villages. People have been inviting, patient and helpful as I learn a culture different than what I know. They teach me part of the backstory to the place I call home.
• For America:?I love this country. I’ve been to a lot of countries. 40 or so. There are a couple of pretty nice places to live out there. But this place is unique. You can only see what makes it unique when you’ve been elsewhere. I love the opportunity, I’m excited about our potential. I like the way Americans think.
• My job: I love, love, love what I do. If I could make up my own job – this would be it. (And I did make it up.) I love helping businesses and non-profits flourish. I love my clients. I get excited about them. I realized that my clients tend to be people who are passionate about their work, care about the people they lead, care about their customers, want to excel, and want to live a values-based life. Basically, these are really cool people. Doing cool stuff. I’m blessed to work with them.
• My clients:?I discovered, early on, that it is hard to be in business without them! But I really do get to work with super smart and motivated people. I’m constantly learning new things from them. They introduce me to new people and new opportunities. I love the fact that I’ve become friends with so many of my clients. It’s just a great group of people.
• Erin and Tristen: Erin is my assistant. Amongst many other things – she puts this article together.?Tristen handles my books and keeps me on the right side of Uncle Sam. These two people help me focus on growth, and to have the time and bandwidth to really serve my clients and get home on time to my family. So grateful for their support.
• My Readers:?It’s hard to write with no one reading. Depending on how I count it – there are maybe 1500 or so of you out there. I appreciate the comments and feedback (even when you disagree with me). It’s my goal to serve you through this little weekly article. I hope it continues to do that.

Ok, I got on a roll. A few more than 10. It’s my article. I can do what I want.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Take good care,

Christian

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