Two Priorities for 70

My friend received the information that his tumors are growing again. The chemotherapy trial treatment is losing its efficacy. This means that he is moving again on the path to death. The journey continues for him. He sees it. I wondered what his innermost thoughts were. What would my innermost thoughts be? A few immediately came to mind.

1. What do I do with my remaining healthy time?

2. Who do I spend my remaining time with?

3. How do I set my priorities for my day?

4. Do I simply continue just doing what I am doing until I can't do what I do anymore and then answer the first three questions?

5. What is it that I want to leave behind after I die?

The last question addresses the principle of “beginning with the end in mind.”

I am about to become 72 years old. I’m in good health and still active. It is easy to put these questions off, but they keep haunting me. I need to address question #5 so I live a life choosing the right priorities.

What is it that I want to leave behind after I die?

Forty-five years ago, I worked with a Jewish woman my age. Once over lunch, the question of what happens after we die came up. She told me, “As a Jew, we believe, we live in the minds and hearts of those who love us.”

When she told me this, I thought, “Is this the best we can really hope for?”

When I think back on family members and friends who died, my thoughts go to my memories of them. The encounters I had with them. The things they said to me. How they loved me and I loved them. How we connected. The times I stood back and observed them and how they interacted with others. What drove them? My thoughts on what they were really thinking. How I remember their spirit. Our disagreements on what seemed so important at the time. The life, intensity, and love I saw in their eyes. How they advised me and wanted to be around me and I with them.

This is their legacy with me. Legacy that is meaningful. Legacy to shoot for. But how was this legacy built? Was it built through work? Golf? Family? Lunch? Social events? Golf trips? Dinners? Volunteer community projects? A chance coffee meeting?

Yes. Their legacy with me was built through all these encounters.

The key is to have encounters, to be in the same space with people. For some people, it has to be "on-purpose" time together. For others, it is simply time together. My thoughts went to my grandchildren. Time spent together just hanging out. We should be focused on an activity so as to relax my grandchild. But the activity is simply a platform for interaction. What about my children: Julia, Nick, Lisa, and David? My in-laws: Allen, Zack, and Amanda? The grandkids: Charles, Henry, Scotty, Grayson, Hadley & Elisa? My friends: Chuck, John, Rusty, Steve, Seth, Cortney, Robert, Dave, Frank, Sig, and Yuri?

How does my body of work affect my legacy? Writing, video interviews, investments. How many videos and books do I have of my friend Regi? Do I care about what he created? I know others do. He is still influencing their lives but mostly through the organization he created using his concept of Radical Mentoring focused on churches.

Kathy told me this morning that my interviews are important. She said, “You take the time to listen to people. You are interested in what they accomplished. What they learned and are willing to share. Most importantly, you are interested in who they are.”

But what about my writing, this writing? I recently received a Venmo from an entrepreneur and small businessman who coached my youngest son in football. We were in each other’s lives a bit more when my son was in high school. Since then, over thirteen years, I’ve seen him twice, once at church and once at his business.

He Venmoed me $10 for a cup of coffee. He thanked me for all the writing I’ve done. He said it really helped him in life and business. Then he said, “I sold both my businesses.” This reach-out really touched me. It made all the time I devoted to writing worth it. I helped him. And now he realized the miracle of cashing out. Creating something from nothing that someone decided they had to own themselves.

This is also my legacy as I write on charliep.com.

But there are always new influencers. People who grow popular for a season with new ideas and presentations that capture the generation of the time. They eclipse the old influencers. The next generation in business or in the family always wins out. They are there, and I am not there. And even if I am there, I am not respected as I once was when I was an active influencer speaking to my generation.

More questions for me:

Does it matter to you that your grandchildren remember you? If it does, then spend time with them. Does it matter that your kids remember you? If so, spend time with them. What about my friends? Spend time with them. Spend time with people you love and care about that are part of your family legacy. These people matter to me and I to them. We should enjoy each other and help each other.

I believe the best way for me to choose my priorities in life rightly is to ask this question:

How do I remember the people I lost to death, and why do I remember them?

It is not for what they produced. It is not for the impact they had on society. It is based on the time we spent together. The love and delight we had for each other. The life we lived together.

All of this legacy thinking is about what I’ll leave behind. But what about looking forward to death? What is to come, ultimately? To this end, I need to get myself ready to meet and be with Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

How do I go about being ready?

1. Remain in the Gospels.

2. Pray.

3. Share Jesus with all I encounter.

4. Attend and maintain church involvement.

5. Attend weekly Bible study.

6. Pray with Kathy, my family, friends, and neighbors.

7. Invite Jesus to take control of my life and make me ready each day of my life.

There you have it. The two priorities of my 70’s.

Priority 1: Work on my legacy.

Priority 2: Prepare to meet Jesus.