Two Leadership Traps: How to Avoid Them. How to Get Out of Them Once You’re in Them. Trap #1.

You know the Peter Principle: "In a hierarchy, everyone tends to rise to the level of their incompetence."??

But what the Peter Principle doesn't tell you is the nature of the incompetence.?

I submit that most often it has to do with leadership.?

A Chief Learning Officer told me, "Brent, we hire people for their skills and knowledge, but we fire them or fail to promote them or promote them for their leadership abilities -- or lack thereof."?

Throughout people's careers, they are promoted to take charge of increasingly larger and more complicated groups -- until they take over a group that's too large and too complicated for their leadership abilities. ?

Leadership is the pivot point for your job success and career advancement. ?

Clearly, when you lead well, you'll go a long way; lead badly, and you'll stumble.??

The trouble is when it comes to leading well, many leaders are their own worst enemies. One reason for this is that they constantly get caught in two leadership traps. ?

Knowing these traps – how not to get in them; and how, if you are in them, how to get out –- can boost the effectiveness of your daily leadership activities.??

?The traps can be particularly deadly because they are in many cases self-set and self-triggered.?

What's worse: many leaders who get into them often don't know they're caught.?It's one thing to be in a trap and know you're in it: You try to get out.?But it's trouble of a higher order to be in a trap and not know you're in it.?In that case, you'll stay there.??

THE FIRST TRAP: "I need ..."??

Leaders fall into this trap when they say, "I need you to hit these learning targets, I need you to get more productive, I need you to (fill in the blank)".??I NEED ... I NEED ... I NEED ....

Why is this a trap??The answer: the Leader's Fallacy.?The Leader's Fallacy is the mistaken belief of leaders that their own needs are automatically reciprocated by the needs of the people they lead.?It's a fallacy because automatic reciprocity doesn't exist.?Reciprocity must be earned.?But so many leaders go blithely along driven by the Fallacy and so fall into the "I need . . . " trap.

However, if your leadership focuses on ordering people to accomplish tasks rather than taking the trouble to do the more difficult but far more rewarding thing of getting those people willingly motivated to accomplish the tasks, there is no trap. This article is not for you. Don’t read on.

Though you should know that committing yourself to the order way is committing yourself to continually achieving a fraction of the results you’re capable of. ?

Here's how to get out of, or avoid, the "I need ... " trap. It simply involves changing what you think and what you say in simple ways. ?

In my working with leaders worldwide for decades, I've noticed a character trait that the most successful share: They focus consistently on understanding and supporting the people whom they lead.??

For instance, you could say, "You need ..." which is a good way out.???

Or, you could say, "The team needs ... " which is a better way out.?

Or, you could say, "Do you need? ..."?Which is the best way out, especially with a question mark attached.?A corollary to this question is, "What do you need from me to help you get the team to succeed?"

Asking a question rather than using a declarative is often more effective because it gets people reflecting upon their situation. After all, we can't motivate anyone to do anything.?

They must motivate themselves.?And they best motivate themselves when they reflect on their character and their situation.?

A question can trigger such reflection and ultimately lead to their making the choice to be motivated to be your cause leader. You may not like the answer; but often their answer, no matter what it is, can better lead to more results being achieved than your declaration can.

Furthermore, asking questions like, "What do you need for the team to succeed? ..." works much better than saying "I need ... " because you are forging a "critical confluence" – the confluence of your or your organization's needs with their needs. ?

You may think I'm putting too fine a point on these changes; and to a degree, you're right.?

Making simply one change may not be important; but when you multiple the changes many times during the day, day in and day out, month in and month out, their aggregate can add up to tremendous change indeed. In fact, it can add up to job and career transformation.?

So, the next time you are tempted to say, "I need ... ", don't.?

Instead, say, "Do you need??..." or "What do you need? ... " or "Tell me what you need ...."?Over time, you'll forge great changes in how people relate to you and your leadership, changes that will lead to substantial increases in results.?

However, watch out: In getting out of the "I need ..." trap, you may

find yourself in another trap.?Asking "What do you need? ..." might play right into their hands of people who don't' trust you or want to sabotage your leadership or use you to further their own ends.??

These people want to lead you down their private rabbit hole.?They want to get you exploring things that have nothing to do with your getting the results you need and everything to do with satisfying the needs of their ego or whatever agenda they have.?"Don't you think you need? ... " could be their ticket to ride.?Before you ask the question, be aware of the ride and how to get off.

?In the next article, I will describe the second leadership trap, the “You do …” trap. ?

?Copyright ? The Filson Leadership Group, Inc.

The author of some 40 books, Brent Filson’s latest two leadership books are: “The Leadership Talk: 7 Days to Motivating People to Achieve Exceptional Results” and “107 Ways to Achieve Great Leadership Talks.” A former Marine infantry platoon and company commander, he is the founder of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc., which for 40 years has helped thousands of leaders of all ranks and functions in top companies worldwide achieve sustained increases in hard, measured results. He has published some 150 articles on leadership and been a guest on scores of radio/tv shows. His mission is to have leaders replace their traditional presentations with his specially developed, motivating process, The Leadership Talk. www.brentfilson.com and theleadershiptalk.com.

Besides having lectured about the Leadership Talk at MIT Sloan School of Management, Columbia University, Wake Forest, Villanova, Williams, Middlebury, Filson brought the Leadership Talk to leaders in these organizations: Abbott, Ameritech, Anheuser-Busch, Armstrong World Industries, AT&T, BASF, Bell Atlantic, BellSouth, Bose, Bristol-Meyers Squibb, Campbell Sales, Canadian Government, CNA, DuPont, Eaton Corporation, Exelon, First Energy, Ford, General Electric, General Motors, GTE, Hartford Steam Boiler, Hershey Foods, Houghton Mifflin, IBM, Meals-on-Wheels, Merck, Miller Brewing Company, NASA, PaineWebber, Polaroid, Price Waterhouse, Roadway Express, Sears Roebuck, Spalding International, Southern Company, The United Nations, Unilever, UPS, Union Carbide, United Dominion Industries, U.S. Steel, Vermont State Police, Warner Lambert — and more ?

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