Two Keys to Conflict
Jan Rutherford
Executive Coach | Speaker | Author | Expedition Leader | Co-host, The Leadership Podcast
Thank you for subscribing to The Crucible? newsletter, which goes out to leaders like you every other week and always offers a thought on something I’ve learned from clients, interviews, or an idea that seems worth sharing.
We’re all trying to figure out what’s next after the pandemic.
Is it back to work? Or is it back together? How does trust and cooperation play into our future?
What I am seeing is conflict between very different drivers.
Some leaders know that working should-to-shoulder may lead to more teamwork, collaboration and innovation.
Some people feel that proximity isn't needed for teamwork, collaboration and innovation.
Some people worry about feeling safe - while others like the balance they now have with work and family.
Values are competing - which are the drivers of what causes us to act.
Most of us are pretty familiar with the Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Lencioni, and know we need:
- Trust as a foundation
- Once people feel safe, then they’re comfortable speaking up with healthy Conflict
- When people know their voice has been heard, they’re more likely to be Committed to the decisions for next steps
- With high commitment across the board, share Accountability can take hold.
- When those four steps are in place, the team should see the Results that prove true effectiveness.
Obviously, no two teams are alike, but in my experience, of the the five dysfunctions, the one that is almost always absent it the ability to have healthy conflict. I think the reason is that we don’t know how to meet. There is too much ambiguity with regard to decisions, ground rules for group behavior, and much of the time the meetings aren’t intentional, purposeful, or methodical.
Think about the four ways we can collaborate:
- DTDP – different time different place (bulletin boards, newsletters)
- DTSP – different time same place (asynchronous)
- STDP – same time different place (synchronous, virtual)
- STSP – same time same place (synchronous, in-person)
Rather than try to solve the remote work/work from home/back to the office dilemma based on competing drivers, how about first deciding two things:
1. Be crystal clear about when and why you absolutely need to meet at the same time in the same place.
2. When you do meet at the same time in the same place, make sure you have the following in place:
- Agenda with desired outcome
- Ground Rules for full participation, and healthy debates. Healthy debate requires one thing: When someone brings up something where others disagree, the response should always be in the form of a question to better understand the stated opinion, perspective, or recommendation. The first response should never be an outright statement of disagreement.
Of course, conflict isn’t comfortable, or easy, but it is to be expected, and managed so that it produces the best outcome by way of solutions and buy-in.
And we’re all going to have to get used to each other again - and that includes all the things we appreciate, and the things that annoy us...
You might like...
My TEDx talk is now on the main TED site! I give my script a B+, and will let you be the judge of my delivery!
Suffer Everything - Dare Everything: Why Difficulties Matter
What I recommend reading…
'Purposeful People' comes out on April 9th, and all proceeds go to four charities: Shelter UK, Samten (Meditation & Mindfulness), Cancer Fund for Children, and SSAFA - the Armed Forces charity.
You can register your interest for a copy of the book by way of this link: https://www.kmdbooks.com/purposeful-people
What’s coming up...
On LinkedIn LIVE...
- April 14 at 10am PST - David Mead - Honest, Humble and Human
- April 21 at 12pm EDT - GEN Stan McChrystal on his Advocacy for National Service for One-million Young Americans
- April 29 at 12pm PDT - Tatiana Kolovou - The 5K that turned into an ultramarathon
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Jan Rutherford is an executive coach and keynote speaker. A former Green Beret and founder of Self-Reliant Leadership? - he also leads Crucible? wilderness expeditions with executives and veterans.
IT Leadership | Certified PgMP? | Certified Business Architect CBA? | Program Management | Strategic Planning | CSM?
3 年Hey Jan, I was thinking about your two primary success criteria listed above for in-person meetings, especially in the context of the proverbial “staff meeting”, whether my own or ones I have attended. I’m not sure I have always attended or conducted staff meetings which clearly modeled both of your two criteria in truly effective ways. Over the years, I created different “purposeful” agendas with varying results, and I attended many CXO level staff meetings with no clearly understood expected outcomes. For example, in his staff meetings one CXO always told us he wanted us to bring up and discuss critical things we needed from each other (and presumably weren’t getting), as if any of us would do that publicly in his staff meeting without working it out with the other person in advance. Anyway, I’m looking forward to the new book possibly shedding some light on what purposes will really matter when in-person meetings resume! What ideas do your readers have on the most effective, purposeful staff meetings they have experienced?
Publisher, Biographer, Author and Life Philosopher at K P Weaver Official, 3 x TEDx Speaker, Forbes Influencer, and Proud Mum of 6.
3 年Jan I have just listened to your TEDx talk, it is truly wonderful. I'm so glad I took time out to watch it. One line that stood out for me 'When your goals are aligned with what you hold dear, quitting isn't an option."
Executive Coach | Speaker | Author | Expedition Leader | Co-host, The Leadership Podcast
3 年Stan McChrystal David Mead Tatiana Kolovou Chris Paton Karen Mc Dermott #leadership #conflicts #books