Two key questions to restore purpose and resolve

There are two questions I have been asking people in leadership workshops that have helped strengthen their purpose and resolve. The questions are:

• Who are the heroes in your life?
• How do you get in your own way?

Let's start with the good news - our heroes.

Can you grab a pen and paper and jot down some of the names that come to mind when you think about the local people – friends, family, workmates – who have faced up to something difficult in their life and inspired you?

I define a hero as someone who walks consciously towards the things that scare them. These people are brave more than confident. Scared but committed.

I found my father heroic when, after losing most of the function of his left leg in a botched operation and being told he would barely walk again, he decided to build a 42-foot Catamaran. Bit by bit, day by day, month by month, with the help of my mother and many others, he pieced together his Noah's ark. When I am dealing with something difficult, I try to remember his effort and persistence. Just show up, was his maxim, again and again and again. And do something to move forward.

My father’s approach to adversity is part of a body of universal wisdom that is known to all of us but easy to forget. It is embedded in what Joseph Campbell called the hero’s journey. In myth, story and cinema, we idealise the person who leaves comfort, in search of adventure, to deal with real and imagined dragons, and live to tell the tale. Take the story of the anxious young boy who confronts his phobia of bats and makes them a symbol of justice to inspire others in a corrupt city - the Batman. As Joseph Campbell commented: "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek".

Often we seek comfort, yet strangely, it is challenge that is captivating. Psychotherapist Viktor Frankl commented that, in a meaningful life, "What [a person] needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task" (Frankl, p. 85). Can you pause momentarily and think about a challenging adventure calling out to you? What's holding you back?

Starting an adventure is exciting but dealing with setbacks is hard. The Heavyweight boxer "Iron" Mike Tyson is credited with saying that "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth". To reach your potential, you must expect a few punches to land and you must have a good plan for dealing with them. I like to ask leaders to prepare a plan for setbacks. What's your strategy?

When we think about setbacks, we often externalise them. We think of the boss who doesn’t promote us our our lack of opportunities. These obstacles are easy to name because they are visible and known. But there are enemies much closer to home.

In my experience, we, not others, are the biggest threat to our success. Our lack of self-awareness, assumptions, self-doubts and fears prevent us from taking a solid first step towards what would help us achieve our potential. Before we deal with other road blocks, it's important we get over ourselves.

Joe Dispenza described this task memorably as "breaking that habit of being ourselves". Likewise, sports Psychologist Dan Abrahams comments often that we should stop listening to ourselves (our constant worries) and start talking positively to ourselves about what could go well. You don't have to indulge in toxic positivity. No positive mantra will make you a wonderful pilot if you haven't already learnt to fly. You simply have to remember those times when things did go well and bring some of the experience to your next performance.

We have been warned for aeons that we are our own worst enemies. The literary genre of tragedy told us to be careful of our flaws. In Greek Myth, Icarus was saved from a life in prison by his clever father, Daedalus, who made him wings from feathers and candle wax to escape incarceration in a tower. Daedalus told Icarus not to fly too high because the sun would melt the wax. But like an over confident teenager, Icarus flew too close to the sun. His wings melted and he plummeted to his death in the sea. We are all like Icarus. The challenge is to work out which of your behaviours is taking you too close to the sun?

I have found the ideas around heroism and tragedy useful in helping leaders to increase their efficacy. To recap, the essence of the two questions are:

• Who would it take to be more heroic?
• How could you stop getting in your own way?

Why not try them out and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

#leadership #leadershipdevelopment #highperformance #education

Tania Hudson Ryan Shelton Damian Ramos Matthew Ferrinda Brendyn Appleby Dr Ray Boyd Salvatore De Luca Fiona Millimaci The Conscious Leadership Group Dan Abrahams Leadership WA Leadership Institute WA Drew Mayhills FAIM Catherine Elliott Karen Jones Tash Rigby Tom Wickham Albert Borrello Adrian Torrese Leanne Hodge Helen Carrier Nicholas Smith Jette Oksis

?

?