Two Answers For One Simple Question

Before you start reading this short story, you will see things from my worldview. I have no intention of influencing the way you’re thinking or how you live your life. As everyone has their own unique life journey. However, I do hope you can take a lesson from my perspective. It’s simply one of my life stories.

A Question That Started All

Not so long ago, a good friend of mine visited me. We had deep conversations that night. From all the topics we discussed, out of the blue he asked me a question:

“Hey, what do you actually seek and really want in life?”.

At that moment, I knew it was going to be a long night.

I simply replied,

“Which life? Here at this present life or life after this one?”.

From my statement, a look of confusion started to appear on his face. I knew, he might expect a more common answer, like a good career, financial freedom, or other things that world has to offer. But, there’s a big chance he might not get that kind of answer from me. Of all people I have met in life so far, he was the second person to ask me that kind of question.

Later, I said to him,

“You know, I always have two kinds of answer to that one question”.

Rather than let him drown in confusion, I continued by explaining my way of thinking about life. It’ little bit complex because I see life in two different dimension: a life we’re living at present moment, and life in the great beyond.

Answer #1: Life In the Great Beyond

My curiosity always drives me to learn & try to understand more about life itself. I still remember back then, when I was in elementary school, sitting in the third row, where my teacher explained about how massive our universe is. He talked about galaxies, planets, stars, etc. It made me realize that we are just tiny pieces of a universe. I want to know how far we can understand the life we are living. When I imagine all that mystery, it always gives me chills. But there’s a possibility that we can never understand all of them. Life may not allow us to, and let it remain a mystery.

Since that day, science has always been interesting to me. There are two aspects that have always caught my attention until today: “Space” and “Time”. That’s why I enjoy reading Neil DeGrasse Tyson and Stephen Hawking books. I learn astrophysics and physics from them.

However, there’s a dilemma: the more I try to satisfy my curiosity, the more I realized how fragile we are. We are just one life form with very limited lifespan. I have concluded that perhaps God gave us this vast universe, with our limited time & capability as human beings, so we can understand how small and fragile we are. If you understand this, there’s no reason to see yourself more superior than others, after knowing a few things. It’s because the more we learn, the more we know nothing. If we can’t find all the answers in this life, perhaps God will reveal all the answers in the next life.

I take a moment, wondering what happens after I die, and then ask myself:

“What will life be like in the afterlife? And what am I going to do there?”

Thinking about the afterlife thrills and scares me at the same time. But there is one thing I really want to do there:

“I want to see life, from the moment of creation, where it all begins, until it has come to an end.”

Since I understand that I might not get that in the present life, then I decided that if God gives me a chance to go to heaven and let me make a wish, I want to see it with my own eyes. I couldn’t imagine the feeling of having something you have waited for so long finally be fulfilled.

After my long and boring explanation for just one question, I made my friend speechless. I know he would either think I was crazy or just some weirdo.

Then he told me:

“I know I will get an uncommon answer, that’s why I asked that question. It’s rare to have that kind of answer from people. But still, it’s seriously weird haha. So, how about life you’re living right now?”

Answer #2: Life We Are Living Now

Let me be honest, I was not really interested in seeking external validation or material possessions in this life. I often wondered:

“How inferior and how low is your self-esteem if you obsess over those things to validate your self-worth?“

I simply didn’t see life as a shopping list that needs to be checked off one by?one. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the present moment. Everyone wants the best in life, after all. There’s nothing wrong with that.

There was a time when I was very ambitious about those things, but once I achieved, I felt nothing. It wasn’t truly what I wanted. Living a life with an attachment to material possessions or external validation was not suitable for me. I knew I am not a particularly religious person, but I realized that God’s grace is more than enough for me.

It has been three years since I stopped asking things in?my?prayer. At this moment, I simply want to be grateful for what God has given me. Most of us keep asking for more and forget to appreciate what we already have, even for small things.

Now, I just want to live to discover my gifts and share them with others, so I can leave mark on this life. I guess you could call it living a meaningful life.

He interrupted by asking,

“And if you accomplish all of that, what then?”

I answered,

“Then I will continue living and wait until my life comes to an end.”

Thanks For Reading!

If you enjoyed this?short?story, consider following me on Medium for more content like this. Feel free to reach out on Instagram or LinkedIn (@erwinsyadik) if you have any questions or stories to share.