Twice a Failure, Forever a Relentless Dream Chaser

This story isn't a story of success or accomplishment. This story is a story of coming up short and being “so close” on a number of accounts. And while there is a theme of disappointment throughout the story, it’s a story about resilience and the principles required in order to attain a successful and fulfilled life. While this story centers mostly around sport, its parallels to the professional world and real life are just as applicable…especially those affected by recent layoffs in the tech community.?

As a former professional football player, I hung up my football cleats in 2013, after a three year journey of National Football League (NFL) mini-camp tryouts with the Chicago Bears and Dallas Cowboys , and one season in the United Football League , when I decided to pursue an MBA from Vanderbilt University - Owen Graduate School of Management . Upon graduation, I entered the corporate consulting and high-tech worlds, garnering life-changing experiences at North Highland , Looker , 谷歌 , and Firebolt, and never looked back…until fate intervened.?

10 years later…yes,10 years later, I found myself back on the football field competing as a professional combo punter/kicker specialist for an XFL roster spot at the invite-only XFL Specialist Showcase. Fate has an interesting way of bringing you back into the fold sometimes - often when you least expect it.

With Covid regulating my “gym” workouts to outdoor football fields, I began kicking and punting again - at first for fun, but then when I started to see consistent performance in hitting 50-60 yard punts, with five seconds of hang time; making field goals from 50+ yards away; and kicking touchbacks on kickoffs out of the back of the endzone, I thought to myself, “hey, there may be something here.”

Now I’m a realist and have always been pragmatic - there’s no way any professional team would take a shot on a 34 year old, especially one who’s been out of competitive football for a decade. But as an athlete, you love to compete, no matter the competition, odds, and you always bet on yourself. And realistically, while I knew the chances of landing with a professional team were slim to none, I wanted to prove to myself that I still had enough ability to garner a phone call for a workout, as playing professional sport had always been a childhood dream.?

When fate intervenes and presents you with an opportunity - you take it. For better or for worse, I was affected by the first wave of tech layoffs late summer of ‘22. Without being laid off, I would have never had the opportunity to train and earn an invitation to compete in the XFL Specialist Showcase a few months later.?

The overwhelming majority of athletes are told by someone else that their career is over and that they won’t play again - due to injury, younger competition, old age, or a decline in ability. Only the select few voluntarily choose to retire. For me, I chose to hang up the cleats to pursue a corporate career and put my 耶鲁大学 degree to use - no one told me I didn’t have the capability or skill to keep going - which in hindsight, perhaps I gave up on the dream too quickly. But fast forward to today, I wanted to rewrite my professional football ending. And it became clear that competing at the XFL Specialist Showcase was the only way to definitely know whether or not it was time to hang up the cleats.?

Make no mistake - I didn’t just decide to give this a go on a whim. I had been practicing on my own for over a year - on the field, in the weightroom, and on the yoga mat, and performed well at two free agent showcases leading up to the XFL Specialist Showcase, thus earning the invitation to compete. I had put in all the requisite preparation physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.?

But alas, the day was not mine to rue. While I had a strong performance kicking off and kicking field goals, I did not perform to the level that I expected, nor needed to punting-wise. While the outcome was certainly disappointing, I was able to walk away with my head held high. I was grateful to compete at this level after taking a decade away from the game.?

And while I did communicate with a couple of XFL teams leading up to the XFL Draft, as well as a couple NFL teams, the phone never rang on XFL Draft Day. The story and the dream ends here.?

Or does it?

While the competitor in me is disappointed in the outcome, I took a number of valuable life lessons from the experience - ones that I wish to share with every young girl and boy, as well as adult colleagues and professionals, as no matter one’s stage in life, these lessons will always remain true.

1. Be relentless in the pursuit of your dreams. You can truly do anything in this life that you want. Any outsider would have said, “you’ll never make it - too much time has passed and you don’t have the talent.” But what they fail to recognize is the internal flame drive to succeed and the drive to persevere never once flickered.?
2. The mind is always stronger than the body. Your mind can either make an excuse as to why you won’t do something, or you can put your mind to a greater purpose and then you’ll find a way. The hours you spend training, refining your craft, learning, and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone is the separating difference between being good and great - at anything in life.?
3. “Align your activities to your goals.” Whatever you want in life, you can achieve it, but you’ll never attain it by just showing up. You have to work hard, and certainly harder than your competition. Figure out the plan necessary to prepare you to achieve your goals, then attack it with all your might. You’ll be amazed at how successful you can be if you align your activities to your goals.?
4. It’s not who you know that matters. It’s who knows what you know. Always network and let your close circle of contacts know what you’re up to, and seek out their advice and counsel on the best way to do so. They’ll often have ideas or other contacts who can help you reach your goals - potentially getting you in front of the one person who can unlock an opportunity for you.?
5. Swing for the fences; aka go big or go home. Never take the easy way out and never settle for the sure thing or anything less than your capable of or deserve. Never have regrets for the things you didn’t do…or else you’ll always wonder, “What if?”
6. Failure is ok, embrace it! Failure should light a fire inside of you to do the things necessary to never experience it again. It makes you stronger and the experiences you garner from it make the road ahead more navigable. You learn more from your mistakes, missteps, and failures than you do your successes.?

To finish TR's quote from the caption, "the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena...who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I can finally walk away from the game knowing I gave it everything that I had - and I put all my efforts into this comeback and I have no regrets. Even more meaningful, I capitalized on the opportunity to be a dream chaser and role model to my daughter - as a real-life example of someone who practiced the values preached and soon to-be instilled in her, encouraging her to chase her dreams.

As previously mentioned, I was further tested when I was unexpectedly laid off late last year. And while at first, I thought it would be great to take a bit of a sabbatical and spend time with my family, and that I would just as quickly and easily re-enter the tech realm, that wasn’t the case.?

After months of networking, interviewing, getting to the final rounds only to have the rug pulled out from underneath me on a few separate occasions, I still had nothing to show for it. Truthfully, it was a frustrating experience. But as I mentioned earlier, failure is ok - it makes you stronger, and dig deeper for things you really want.?

In hindsight, these failures were blessings in disguise, as the companies/roles that I was previously interviewing for, wouldn’t have been the best fits for the next step in my professional career.?

Sometimes the longer road traveled is exactly where you need to be. Giving you additional perspective, sometimes the time waiting for the right opportunity, not just any opportunity, is worth the wait.?

I offer this advice to all those recently affected by the massive tech layoffs. Stay true to yourself, know your value, and don’t settle for less - the right role will come along - it may just take a little longer than you ideally want, or hope.?

Stay ready, over prepare, and be relentless in the pursuit of your dreams and goals.?

So after this long journey of both trying to play professional football again, and then trying to find my next professional role after facing a layoff, which on the surface were not initially fruitful endeavors, I can now proudly say that I have landed exactly where I was meant to be - stayed tuned for the reveal in the coming days.

And for any NFL or XFL teams out reading this, or that need a combo specialist in a pinch or as a camp leg, I know a guy who's leg is still lively ??