Twenty Good Summers

From coming up with ideas to how to transition to a story: answers to your popular questions.

It’s time for another mailbag round-up, answering your biggest questions. ? ?

I know you say we shouldn’t make up a story. But can I use an existing story like a fable? ?

Let me?reverse uno ?you with a question: which would you find more interesting? Another recounting of “The Tortoise and the Hare" from Aesop's Fables, or a story about someone’s personal experiences? ?

I get the temptation to leverage something that already exists. It seems like less work, but it’s more. You need to find a unique angle for the audience to pay attention to the fable and remember it. Existing stories are familiar. People are less likely to pay attention and drift off. ?

When telling a common story, you must share your unique perspective. One of my most popular posts is about?JFK and a janitor . The story has lumbered around for decades, even with its validity in question. I brought an interesting perspective and takeaway for the audience. ?

Instead of defaulting to existing stories, challenge yourself to share your experiences. The audience will learn about you, connect with the story, and remember it long after. ? ? ?

“You say don’t start with, ‘Let me tell you a story.’ But how do you do that in a one-on-one conversation? How do I transition from the opening pleasantries into a story without it seeming forced?”

You never want your stories to feel forced. But working them into conversations may be easier than you think with one rule: Stories follow something.

If you are giving a presentation, you are either introduced or listed on the agenda. Beginning with a story is a natural transition. When telling a story in-the-moment in a meeting, it’s in response to the discussion. Job interviews give prompts for stories with questions like, “Tell me about a time you recovered from a setback?”

What do you do when there isn’t an obvious transition for a story? How do you get from “Hello!” to sharing stories, especially when meeting people for the first time?

1. Don’t default to talking about the weather. If this is the first time you are meeting, learn about the person in advance from Linkedin or social media. What do you share? If it’s a web meeting, is there something in the background of your screen you can ask about? Start by building rapport.
2. Have a?back pocket story ?that can help you start a conversation.
3. Once you’ve built rapport, share your intentions for the interaction and why you wanted to connect. Ask what they want to get out of the experience. This establishes transparency and sets up something to follow.
4. There’s a bit of an art to transitioning to the story. It may make sense to begin with a story based on what was shared in intentions. Use a sentence to bridge into the story like, “I want to tell you about Peter…”
5. A story may not come until later in the conversation. When sharing a story in-the-moment, just begin. You don’t need a bridging statement like “That reminds me of this story” or “Let me tell you a story.”

What is the best (or favorite) story you’ve heard?

I hate this question. It’s not limited to storytelling – I hate being asked my favorite anything. There are so many reasons why I like things, it’s often not focused on any one thing. When asked the question, my brain goes on overload and doesn’t know which memory to access. ?

It’s a bit like asking a child “How was your day at school?” and they respond “fine!”? The question lacks creativity to prompt thinking. I get the reason people ask it. They want to see an example of a great story and understand what makes it a favorite. ?

I love stories that make me think. They could have an unexpected plot point or outcome that creates the “I didn’t see that coming” moment. The characters feel relatable through their actions and thoughts. There is a clever line to help you connect to a character’s thoughts. I feel like I am immersed in the story, experiencing it beside the characters. Comedians are a great place to look for story inspiration. ? ?

How do I mine my life for stories?

We are an endless source of stories once we turn on the spigot of ideas. Leverage these prompts to see what comes up:

• What is one of your pet peeves?
• What ritual or superstition do you hold?
• Did you have any broken bones or surgery as a child?
• What is a product that makes your life easier?
• What is your go to song that gets you pumped? Why?
• What is something you can’t stand that other people love?
• How have you leveraged your creativity at work?
• When have you felt like an underdog?
• What was a day at work you’d like a “do over” on?
• When did you feel like you were different or like you didn’t fit in?
• Who taught you something you still do today?
• What is something other people get wrong about you?
• What is one of your most challenging projects?
• What is something you wanted for a long time, then after you got it, you didn’t care about it
• Open your camera roll and pick a photo. What is the story behind it?

What if you have twenty good summers left?

I wasn’t asked this question, but I’ve been thinking about it. It’s an idea I heard Ginni Rometty share on Adam Grant’s?Rethinking?Podcast. She was discussing her recent book and retirement as the CEO of IBM. Adam asked her something she was thinking about, and she said, “20 good summers.” She described how someone said to her that when you retire, you have maybe twenty good summers left in you – and how do you want to spend them?? It’s a great question to cut through the noise and help you think about anything you may want to change. ?

Experiences ?mean more than tangible things because we relive the memories and stories they created. The emotions tied to material possessions are often short-lived. So, here’s to a summer of chasing fireflies and the dancing melody of the ice cream truck. Here’s to the smell of coconut sunblock, the warm sun on your neck, peals of laughter at the pool, the sound of waves crashing onshore, and brushing sand off your feet at the beach. May your summer be filled with the woodsy scent of a campfire, the sticky sweetness of roasted smores, and the laughter of loved ones. Fill this summer (and all your others) with whatever is meaningful to you!

Get Started With?Storytelling?

• Order?THE PERFECT STORY
• Take?our free assessment ?to determine your storytelling approach.
• Check out the?Jumpstart Your Storytelling? course.
• Listen to any of my guest appearances on podcasts through my?Spotify Playlist?