'Twas The Night...

While I realize not everyone celebrates Christmas, as a Texan I wanted to share this clever twist on the classic ‘Night Before Christmas' story. Whatever your faith, beliefs or traditions this holiday season, I hope this Texas-sized version makes you smile, or even laugh. After all, Texans do enjoy putting our own spin on things!

“The Night Before Christmas in Texas” by Catherine Smith and Shauna Mooney Kawasaki

‘Twas the night before Christmas in Texas you bet, but no one had seen Santa; he hadn’t come yet. The chaps were all hung up, the boots neatly neatly shined, while out on the plains a right tough windstorm whined. And Santa was in it, with reindeer and sleigh. He’d blown in from Brownsville, down Mexico way.

He was squinting from dust and his beard had turned brown. The reindeer were squealing; the sleigh sinking down. Til it lurched to a stop near the hills of Big Bend. Santa said, “Here we’ll wait for this dust storm to end. The sleigh’s overloaded with great Texas toys. It’s too hard to steer in the dust and the noise!”

Now the problem was time; he had Texas to cross, and the night passing fast. Should he get him a hoss? But no horse was nearby, only Longhorns around. “I don’t trust ‘em,” says Rudolph, a pawin’ the ground.

So they huddled to ponder just what could be done to deliver those toys for the kids’ Christmas fun. Things were downright disgusting when suddenly came, a small Texas voice calling Santa by name…

“Howdy Santa! Ah’ll help! Ah know just where to go, the way to the great Texas Rangers ah’ll show. They can do it, ah know,” chirped the odd little fellow. “Well by jiminy,” says Rudolph “it’s a real armadillo.”

With a leader the team quickly moved north by east. Left the dust storm in Abilene—what a relief! All the Rangers were called, and they split up that load, and giving a whoop, all directions they rode! San Antonio children all sleeping just so heard, “Y’all have a good one! ‘Member the Alamo!”

Now Santa could fly; there was no time to waste. On toward Dallas and Houston the sleigh sped with haste. Heard the band still performing at Billy Bob’s bar, and dropped ten-gallon hats and new boots at the door. He swept into Dallas now feeling quite jolly, on Pegasus’ neck placed a small wreath of holly. He rounded Reunion Tower heading toward Irving, to visit the Cowboys—there’s none more deserving! Dropped a big load of footballs, bid the skyline goodbye.

“Season’s Greetings" he called and turned south on the fly. All the oil towers were lighted; the air seemed alive as he headed toward Houston on I-45. At the Astrodome, someone had left him a treat—fresh barbecue, chili, and nachos to eat! “Oh, how I love Texas!” Santa sang with high cheer, as he passed Neiman Marcus drinking Lone Star “root” beer.

His huge load of toys got dropped off, one by one. To each sleeping child and his dad and his mum. Then heading toward Beaumont, the whole team took flight...“Merry Christmas to Texas! And to all a Goodnight!”

Cheers y'all,

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