Twas the Night Before Forecasts*

‘Twas the night before forecasts, when all through the halls,

Not a seller was stirring or making their calls.

Target lists were hung by the computer with care,

In hopes that some responses would soon be there.

Anxious managers were nestled all snug in their rooms,

Where visions of closings and hitting targets still looms.

The Sales VP prances in their best closing suit,

Having just settled the board, barely avoiding the chute.

When out of my inbox there arose such a clatter,

I ran toward my desk, to tend to the matter.

Across to the keyboard I flew like a flash,

Tore open my email and made my mouse dash.

The onscreen picture was of new fallen snow,

Giving the luster of triumph to my keyboard below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a 5X contract; revenue for the year!

With hardware and software and professional services too,

I knew in that moment, it all had to be true.

My months of prospect development had all finally worked out;

There was no holding back; it was now time to shout.

Now! revenue, Now! installs, Now! profit, Now! share,

On! Quota, On! Bonus, On! Forecast I swear!

To the top of the stack! Let my competitors fall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!

Then I heard them exclaim, as they stood there aghast,

Happy holidays to all, with a near-perfect forecast.

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*With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore.