Turning point

I was drinking my salty sweat that night. No light, no sleep. My eyes were in pain and my stomach was like a desert and my throat felt like fried roots. I was surrounded by darkness and my illusions. All because of my mistake, my own mistake--------I shouldn’t have turned back. If I hadn’t done it at that moment, Eurydice would have been with me now, we would have faded within us and I might have made her sleep with my boneless soft songs, but!?

Let me tell you everything from the starting point.

I was a wanderer, who didn’t have blood bonds, I never met my birth givers, I just traveled, traveled to and towards the world. I used to sing to express my emotions, but never did for a human, except for her.

My Euridice, my gurl.

While I was crossing the mountains, I met her accidently on a rainy day when I went to her forest, it was a deep and dense forest, filled with tallest trees of the land and there was she, short and alluring, she was alone and dancing in the rain. I sang a song by hidden behind a tree. She chased the voice; I tried to escape from her. My voice echoed everywhere in the forest. Even animals cherished my song. I remembered the lyrics, which was my on-spot spark when I saw her dancing, her smile reminded the full moon, her blue skin suppressed my sadness and thoughts, her dancing hair asked me to sing more and more and forever. I didn’t stop singing, because my soul wanted to taste her hair smell. I wished to continue singing for her white eyes, for her blissful face, for her river body, for her sharp nose, for her and for only her.

The rainy evening went up to the night.

When I met the moon, I cursed him by telling,

“hey moon, go away,

?met a girl on my way,

?smells beauty,

on wild duty”

Also, stared at each stars and shouted silently,

“hey, fools,

?go away,

this is our night!”

but really I thanked them because, all of them made me feel like that, the breeze, she helped to inhale her, the rain, I cannot thank him, he became my forever friend from that very moment.

Finally, we met, she saw my eyes.

After finding the voice’s source, she stopped dancing and stood erect. I too stopped singing, we saw each other’s eyes for longer than a while, we smiled, I was thinking. completely thinking about my life, appreciated my fate and told to myself, “Life is not always rude to us, sometimes it creates a magic which we cannot comprehend to the other people using words”, I felt,

I was born to stand there.

I was grown to meet her

I escaped death may be just to sing for her.

I wanted to stand at least for 7 decades just to look into her eyes. May be even more centuries to talk about the nerves of her ears, how different and delicious in look, she was. I stuttered for the first time of my 28 years on this meaningless earth.

I kneeled down and took her right leg and kissed on her bare foot,

Still I remember after looking into her eyes for eternal days, I raised my right hand for requesting a walk, she didn’t hesitate, and gave her right hand. I gently. Very very gently took and caressed it with my lips and carefully maintained the eye contact. We walked on that day at least for seven days, I guess, we never got tired, we laughed like as of forest was living on it. Then we built a tree house for us. We talked for years, we cried, cherished, and faded together. She never called me by my name Orpheus, instead she called me Babaka, I dwelled, dwelled and dwelled in happiness. Nearly for seven years, we orphans became a family of nature. Even the wind was a member, water, the light, the sky, of course my land.? everything and everything, everyday I was the one sang a song which of course praised her unsaturated beauty to make her to sleep.

I always told her, “You protect the forest, I’ll protect you.”

But one day, when I woke up, I saw white saliva at her lips, and mouth full of cockroaches, I didn’t really know what happened. Before my eyes her soul slowly went to the underground, even at that time that smile of her.

My world became colorless and meaningless.

I cried, I cried, I cried, I cried, CRIED AND CRIED, I never imagined this scene even in my wildest dream, but it happened, Eurydice was gone, My Eurydice was gone, My Eurydice. Cried and cried for fifteen years and then decided to bring her back, back from death.

?I went to the underground world; I opened all the impossible doors with my songs. I killed all the super natural peoples who tried to stop me with my words. Finally sang a song on the emptiness that created within me after he took away my Eurydice from me. After hearing my words, my tune made him understand the pain that I was going through. He felt sorry and got ready to give back my Eurydice to me. But all he asked was not turn back until I reach the land. Just before entering the land, my mind started the game, betrayed me, it questioned his words. I turned back and my Eurydice went back to the underground. This time as he mentioned earlier, no chance for me to think about getting back her. my fault……I should not have done that; all was my mistake. My mistake. My mistake. My mistake………………………………………………………. I was drinking my sweat all that night, because I sent away everything which comforts me including wind, which remained her smell. No light, no sleep, my eyes were in pain and my stomach, the dry desert and my throat seemed fried roots. I was surrounded by darkness and my illusions. All because of my mistake, my own mistake, I shouldn’t have turned back. If I done it at that moment, Eurydice would have been with me now, we would have faded within us and might have made her sleep with my boneless soft songs, but now she is not with me. She was the first woman, I loved her with my whole heart, I never knew I had this much emptiness within myself. I was sitting far from my reality, she’s gone. All I can do is pray for peace, and play songs on her.

What’s my fault? Yes, shouldn’t have turned back, but I’m too human too, right? I too want make sure she is with me, my Eurydice! Or we humans don’t have influence on our fate? Is there anything called fate? If yes, why it was written very badly, what are the intensions? Whether the writer of my fate is a human like me?