Turning Over a New Leaf- 6 Questions to Attract Love in the New Year

The New Year is upon us. It's time for a new beginning, turning over a new leaf, and renewing our hope of finding love this year.? Now is the time to think about how you want the coming year to be for you. You get to create what is possible for you.

Here are some strategic questions and suggestions to get you thinking about what you want to attract into your life this year.

1. How would you like your life to look a year from now? What values and characteristics do you want your romantic partner to have? Here, I am asking you to close your eyes and visualize your life a year from now. If you see it, then you can work toward your vision. Once you have visualized what you want, it's important to make it real by documenting it. Create a vision board or put together a collage of what you want your life to look like and what qualities you want your romantic partner to embody. For instance, when I was single, I made a picture (a very basic one!) of a male and female stick figure dancing and skiing. This was my representation of what my boyfriend (eventual husband) and I would be doing. It turns out that even though my husband didn't really dance or ski, he was willing to learn! So my vision did turn into reality after all.

1. What are your dating or relationship goals for next year? (3 months/ 6 months/ 1 year) Goals need to be written down to make them attainable. I suggest you post your goals at a place you see at least once a day. I post my goals on the bathroom mirror. For instance, an example of goals written down is “In 3 months' time I will be dating someone steadily, lose 10 pounds, and work as a volunteer once a month”.
2. What would support you in achieving your dating and relationship goals for next year? For instance, would losing weight or having a makeover support you in feeling better about yourself so you would be more confident about going out and dating? Perhaps reprioritizing your calendar to make time for meeting new people and dating. Taking up a new sport, such as pickleball, can put you in touch with new people. Last, by working with a coach or a therapist, you can get the support and encouragement you may need from an impartial person to take action. Doing the same old thing, won’t yield new results. Are you willing to turn over a new lifestyle leaf, so to speak, in order to make time for love?

1. What one or two things will you try that you haven't yet tried in order to meet new people to date? This may look like getting involved in singles groups or signing up for activities/classes where you can meet new, like-minded people. Find something that you haven't tried before yet where you will still feel comfortable. For instance, if you are not athletic, then I don't recommend you go to a sports-oriented group. You may feel awkward there. Meetup.com is a great way to try new things and find new friends with similar interests. Check and see if 1 of my 13 Singles Meetup groups across the US is near you! And if you aren’t already, consider online dating. 80% of my happily married couples met their partners online and January 1st is the busiest online dating day of the entire year! One of my clients met her now-husband because she was looking on January 1st, which was the first and ONLY day he was online!

1. Who can you enlist to help you in your search for a life partner? There is a whole list of people who can help you: friends, family, co-workers, and leaders at your synagogue or church. It's also a known fact that married women love to fix people up. So who can you approach about setting you up on a qualified date? In my coaching sessions, I teach all my clients how to create a short “commercial” to share with trusted friends and family so they can be accurately looking too!

1. What will you commit to doing differently next year that you haven't done this past year? Do you need to change your attitude about dating from an uptight perspective to a more relaxed one? Are you willing to be more open and positive about dating? All this will make you more attractive to potential partners. Perhaps you need to learn how to weed through suitors better and more quickly. And, how is your rejection tolerance? Are you willing to face your fears head-on and be brave about meeting new people to date this year? Last, how about your dating threshold? Should you give someone a second chance or a second date? Do you need to broaden your ideas, or be more patient in the early dating process?? You may be pleasantly surprised by what's really there. Conversely, have you been too broad and do you need to be more intentional about narrowing down your focus by accepting fewer, but more qualified dates? Or, do you need to reconsider altogether the “type” you think you’re attracted to and see if you find a different type of date more compatible?

The New Year is brimming with lovely possibilities!

My hope is that these questions have pushed you to think outside the box about dating, to turn over a new love leaf, and to try new ways of meeting people. When you take yourself outside your comfort zone and stay true to yourself, you will attract the right person to you!

Have a happy and fulfilling New Year!

Warmest Wishes,

Coach Amy

Amy

P.S. New Year's Day is the single most popular day to be online! Maybe your special someone will be online too! Grab my free Online Dating Checklist to make sure you are ready for January 1!