Feedback is a gift. It is sometimes difficult to receive negative ones. However, here are the tips to neutralize its impact and receive it as a development opportunity.
Which one is your reason?
- Emotional Impact: I mostly receive negative feedback as a personal attack, leading to feelings of defensiveness, anger, or sadness.
- Threat to Self-Esteem: It can be hard to separate the feedback from my sense of self-worth, leading to feelings of inadequacy or failure.
- Fear of Rejection: I have a fear that negative feedback will lead to rejection or negative consequences, such as losing my job or my relationship.
- Lack of Skill: I do not have the skills to effectively process and learn from negative feedback.
- Previous Experiences: My past experiences with negative feedback, which were especially negative or traumatic, make it harder to receive feedback now.
- Perceived Intent: If, I sense, the feedback is given with ill intent or without empathy, I find it difficult to accept.
- Loss of Control: Negative feedback makes me feel like lose control over a situation or outcome, which can be unsettling and lead to feelings of helplessness.
- Social Comparison: Receiving negative feedback triggers comparisons with my colleagues.
- Overwhelm: Receiving a lot of negative feedback at once, or feedback on multiple areas for improvement, make me feel overwhelmed and stuck
- Wrong Timing: When it is given much later than the situation took place, I lose trust in my relationship and need to defense myself.
- Stay Calm: When receiving negative feedback, take a moment to breathe and compose yourself. Try not to react emotionally or defensively.
- Listen Actively: Focus on what the other person is saying without interrupting. Pay attention to the specific points of feedback being given.
- Seek Clarification: If you're unsure about the feedback, ask for clarification. This can help you better understand the other person's perspective.
- Acknowledge the Feedback: Thank the person for their feedback, even if it's difficult to hear. Acknowledging the feedback shows that you're open to learning and improving.
- Reflect on the Feedback: After receiving negative feedback, take some time to reflect on it. Consider the validity of the feedback and how you can use it to improve.
- Focus on Solutions: Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of the feedback, focus on finding solutions. Ask yourself what steps you can take to address the feedback and improve.
- Seek Support: If you're struggling to process the feedback, seek support from a trusted friend, mentor, or coach. They can provide perspective and help you navigate the feedback constructively.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Remember that receiving negative feedback doesn't define your worth. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and has areas for improvement.
Feedback is a gift. Turn it into an opportunity.
Gamze Acat Bayraktaro?lu, EIA Master Practitionar Coach
