Turning holiday thinking and learning into doing

One of my favourite things about going on a Summer holiday is the opportunity to breakout from the normal cycle of day to day events. I find this gives me the opportunity to find some time and space to think. I also like to take the chance to read a book or two and learn something new I can use in life.

Having that time to think, also gives me the opportunity to ask myself four questions, which I do at regular periods throughout the year, alongside reviewing my personal journal.

• What's going well?
• What have I learned?
• Given what I have learned what would I like to change?
• How will I make that change?

The reality is the final question is the one that makes most of the difference, because without the ability to make a change after all that thinking, I'll make no progress.

Why start with what's going well?

Unfortunately as humans we're hardwired to focus on the negative rather than the positive. In a previous article I talked about how this is because our brains are more stimulated by negative thoughts than positive.

Given this knowledge, I can choose to go with nature and beat myself up by focusing on what hasn't gone well i.e. focus on problems, or I can focus on the positive things I have been doing. I choose the latter, because I just know I'll make more progress and put my available energy to better use by adopting a positive 'Do this' rather than adopting a 'Don't do that' mindset.

As any golfer will tell you, 'Aim to the right of the flag' is a much better positive thought than, 'Don't pull it left into the water!' You can almost guarantee it's welly time with the negative thought.

What have I learned?

The purpose of this question is two-fold. In fact in this situation I'm asking myself more than one question. To support this I use my daily journal which I have usually highlighted areas as Green (Good) or Amber (Not Good). This helps me start thinking about

• What should I keep doing?
• What do I think I should do differently?
• What should I start doing?

This last question is where I usually bring new ideas from reading and studying into my thoughts.

This year's holiday gave me time to reflect on the best things about 2023/24. was having the opportunity to develop my formal coaching skills. This was supported by getting back into regular reading, as I explored the topics that helped me qualify as a Coach. One of the things I have learnt from that experience is I want to continue to grow and learn all year round, even if I don't get a qualification at the end of it. Because that makes me happier and better at what I do, which makes me happier. You get the pattern.

Given what I have learned what would I like to change?

So in my week in France, what have I learned that will make me a better Coach, Consultant or person and what will I consider that I haven't before? Now, to be honest, most of the concepts discussed below I have heard of before. Twenty plus years of Change and Transformation experience means you get a lot of time in the field seeing and learning first hand what works and what could be better. However, what struck me with the ideas below is how well they have been presented, making them more engaging. That's the strength of a great author or inspirational leader. They can tell a compelling story.

So here's a small sample of the thoughts and insights that I gained from reading 'Atomic Habits ' by James Clear and 'Start with Why ' by Simon Sinek.

My top 3 ideas from each book were

Atomic Habits - James Clear

1. Take the time to consider what you want to be known for and the person you want to be (Your Identity), then consider the habits that type of person would follow. Change and the desire to change really needs to come from within. E.g. When I was an aspiring Cricketer, I adopted the mindset of a professional.That thought helped me get through numerous fitness runs and training sessions in the middle of a cold and wet English Winter while my mates were in sunnier overseas climes. I had adopted the persona of the person I wanted to be and the habits associated with that persona.
2. Make the new habit you want to adopt easy and the alternative hard - e.g. If I want to read before bed and learn something new, then I keep the book I want to read by my bed and charge my phone in the kitchen. That way reading is easier than getting up and walking downstairs to get the phone. Reducing the opportunity of doom scrolling and increasing the probability of reading.
3. Layer new habits and make sure there is a reward at the end - e.g. Get up (established habit), do my stretching on the mat by my bed (new habit), wander downstairs and tidy my home working space before work (new habit), reward yourself with breakfast (What I want). The fact I have a reward at the end of my new habits will support the positive association with stretching and being tidier.

Start with Why - Simon Sinek

1. Inspiration not manipulation is the key to real leadership - Carrot and Stick can be used to manipulate people, but that will also lead to transactional relationships. Everyone has heard of the scary boss or a pay rise being used to boost a performance. That only works for a short time. If you inspire people they will be drawn by new ideas and adopt new behaviours rather than needing to be pushed or pulled.
2. People need to engage with the Why of what they do before the How and the What. For example in my coaching practice I understand my Why, How and What. My Why is: I gain huge personal fulfilment from helping people achieve their goals. How: I spend 1-2-1 time with individuals and group time with teams discussing what their goals are, or I take the time to understand the challenges they want to overcome. Helping them think in detail about the areas they wish to improve. What: I sell coaching services that follow ICF and coaching best practices, that help individuals and teams achieve their goals and potential.
3. Find the people who believe what you believe, trust them and empower them to make decisions and own the vision. Leadership is about inspiring action and finding ways to amplify the why. Real leadership occurs when others that have been inspired by your beliefs amplify the actions. It's not about controlling how or what.

Well as you can see, there is a lot there and that's just my top 3 from each. But like all ideas, nothing changes until action is taken. So what will you do differently Dickie? I hear you say!

How will I make that change?

This is where the 'Tyre touches the tarmac' as one of my CIO's used to say. You can have all the ideas, plans and dreams you want. But until you actually deliver, that is all you have, plans and dreams.

That is why I will follow these habits for all future changes

• Always make a point of defining the core purpose of all my change initiative 'Why's and write down. What am I doing this for and check my intrinsic motivation, even if I don't share it with others. It needs to mean something to me or I risk losing interest. Experience tells me if I'm not really committed, I won't stick with the required change or new habit so it's a non starter.
• Draw on my lessons learned - If I've done something similar before review what I learned from those experiences that was successful last time. That's not saying that everything will work in this new context, but there are usually a few key common elements in all personal and business changes that must be present to increase the probability of success. The last thing people who are buying my experience want is for me to pull out a blank sheet of paper.
• Test my plans 'happy path' and also run some alternative 'Unhappy' strategies. This is something that inexperienced transformation folk often leave out. As Mike Tyson said, 'Everyone has a plan until they are punched in the face'. If you are to avoid quitting in your personal change you need to decide what you will do when the (hopefully metaphorical) punch in the face arrives. It can be as simple as saying 'If I miss my new habit today, I haven't failed, I have a new opportunity tomorrow.' That ability to reset and go again is critical in any change.
• Make the changes small, iterative and layered, there are many reasons for this not least the fact that no one really likes change. Therefore by making it a small change, then adding more small changes eventually I'll have made a big change.
• Don't be afraid to change direction. Life is a series of 'proof of concepts' have an idea, test it, check the results, continue, adapt or stop. No one moves in a straight line.

Summary

It's easy to get away and come up with some great ideas and plans that involve change. Some businesses such as gyms rely on that surge of excitement and spend each year to boost their membership. Knowing that by the end of February the habits of most of the new members will have reverted to their pre-New Year habits.

Summer holidays are no different, but with a bit of knowledge and clever planning new behaviours and habits are much easier to establish. My Summer reading reinforced my belief that taking the time to understand how humans process change and how new habits are formed is key for anyone that works in transformation. Whether you wish to change yourself or inspire others, an understanding of how new habits are formed will improve anyone's ability to make permanent improvements at home, work or on the sports field.

Hopefully you have found this article of interest. If you'd like to discuss change and transformation in more depth or explore how Coaching could work for you please connect and drop me a note.

My Performance Coach offers Executive and High Performance Coaching for individuals and teams based on lessons learned from sport and business. If you would like to discuss more about how My Performance Coach could help you or your team, please book a free introduction meeting . Where we can discuss your challenges in further detail.