Turning Envy into Empowerment: Navigating Jealousy with Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

It still feels like yesterday when I recall a particular incident from almost a decade ago. I was about a year into my position as Senior Executive Stakeholder Coordinator in the office of the General Manager—a high-visibility role that involved engaging with senior NATO stakeholders. You can imagine the wolves in sheep’s clothing around me, waiting for their chance to see me fail in this position.

“A woman who used to be a secretary, a woman from a minority background, and one who speaks her mind—that’s not fair; it should have been us!” I imagine they thought.

At that time, I didn’t yet have all the tools I needed to become an ethical “shark” myself. In a small pond, even if you’re a goldfish, the sharks will come if you don’t develop the resilience to swim with strength. But the most inspiring sharks are the ones who swim with integrity, lifting others up without the intention to harm.

I remember finding out that a group of men had thrown me under the bus right before a big meeting. That afternoon, I was called in to explain myself and was blamed for mistakes they had strategically pinned on me.

When people team up against you, it’s a reminder of how strong you are on your own. Let that sink in.

I went to the bathroom and cried—not from fear but to release the emotion so I could think clearly. If I had suppressed it, I would have spoken from a biased, cluttered perspective.

Emotions are just energy in motion, and letting them flow was exactly what I needed.

Once I felt calm and clear, I straightened up, looked in the mirror, and told myself: “I’ll show them who I am. Watch me.”

In the meeting room, the men who had thrown me under the bus acted as though nothing happened. Sometimes, letting others believe you’re a fool is the smartest move. I played along, letting them go first. They stumbled through their presentation with nerves, offering plenty of information but little substance.

Then the big boss looked at me and asked, “Nadja, what do you have to say for yourself? How could you let this happen?”

Instead of defending myself, which would have only made me look guilty or insecure, I calmly thanked him for the opportunity to clarify. I presented the situation clearly, laying out the facts, data, and a recommended path forward without once blaming the others. By the time I finished, the truth was evident, and the men shrank with embarrassment.

After that meeting, I earned the boss’s trust and became his main advisor. Walking out, I gave my colleagues a look that said, “Don’t try that again, or you’ll find yourself even smaller next time.”

As time passed, however, the jealousy and envy only grew, making it exhausting to continue. Balancing toxic office politics, raising my son, and studying part-time took its toll. Eventually, my body said, “Enough.” It was time to realign with work that made me feel alive, not just what helped me survive.

If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to stand in her power, use her EQ tools to thrive, and always put her mental health first. Never let anyone dictate your self-worth. That’s what I’m sharing with you today.

Turning Envy into Empowerment: Navigating Jealousy with Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

We often talk about women having to break glass ceiling, but we don't talk enough about the brick walls that are put on our path. At least for some of us. And this is not only related to women by the way, men too experience harm from people who display jealousy and envious behaviour.

“Research demonstrates when people are envious, they are less willing to share information and become more likely to engage in sabotage and socially undermining behaviours. They often refrain from helping others, are less open with the team and disengage from their work, leading to a decline in performance.” (Source)

Jealousy often enters quietly, cloaked as resentment or envy, when we see others with something we deeply desire—whether it’s a relationship, achievement, or opportunity. Defined in the Merriam-Webster and Cambridge English Dictionary as both a zealous protectiveness and a state of discontent, jealousy is complex and layered, often arising when we fear losing what we value or long for what others have. Yet, by understanding these layers, we can begin to transform jealousy from a destructive emotion into a powerful opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth.

Jealousy is universal; we all feel it, especially about the things that matter most to us. I’ve encountered jealousy in both my personal life and professional settings.

Today, I’ll share my experiences with workplace jealousy—a force that once grew so toxic, I had no choice but to walk away. Next week, we’ll explore jealousy in personal relationships, and I’ll share strategies to manage it before it becomes harmful.

Because, let’s be honest—jealousy is part of being human. Our job is not to eliminate it but to channel it constructively so it doesn’t harm others or ourselves.

This week’s EQ Oasis Theme focuses on just that: using emotional intelligence tools to navigate jealousy in the workplace before it becomes toxic.

Dive into this edition of the EQ Oasis Newsletter to explore my story, strategies, and the creative wisdom that can help you reclaim your confidence and never settle for less than you deserve.

Welcome to your EQ Oasis Weekly Digest!

Each day, we’ll focus on practical tools, reflections, and stories to help you shift from perfectionism to self-acceptance and emotional freedom.

Monday: Moonlight Motivation ??

Theme: Introspection and Inner Strength

Monday is all about the moon, symbolizing the hidden and unseen parts of ourselves. This is why introspection is such a powerful tool for healing—by reflecting on past emotions, we lighten the burdens we carry, allowing us to walk the path of life with a clearer heart and mind. This Monday, I’m sharing my personal experience with toxic jealousy in the workplace and how I learned to navigate these uncomfortable, often painful, situations. I’ll also share what I would tell my younger self in hindsight—wisdom that may serve as a survival guide for those of you facing similar challenges.

Key Insight:

When we encounter jealousy and negativity, the real power lies in staying grounded in who we are. Introspection reveals that these external judgments often have little to do with our worth, and everything to do with others’ insecurities. By facing this with a calm inner strength, we reclaim our peace and transform adversity into growth.

Affirmation:

"I release what doesn’t serve me. I am whole, grounded, and unshakable in my worth."

<< Watch Full Video Here >>

Tuesday: Mars in Motion ??

Theme: Forgiveness & Liberation

Tuesday is powered by Mars—the planet of action, energy, and courage, traditionally associated with Aries. Mars energy is bold, unafraid to confront, and ready to release what no longer serves. When faced with jealousy or envy from others, resentment can build up over time, becoming an emotional weight that keeps us from moving forward. The secret to lightening this load lies in forgiveness, a powerful act that frees you from the emotional ties to those who’ve hurt you. Forgiving others is challenging but transformative, and in Tuesday’s podcast, I share how embracing forgiveness helped me regain my well-being and clarity across all areas of my life.

Key Insight:

Much like the fire of Mars, forgiveness is a force of liberation. When you forgive, you don’t excuse what’s happened but release the control it has over you, reclaiming your emotional freedom.

Actionable Strategy:

Start small. Choose one small grievance you’ve been holding onto and practice releasing it today. Reflect on how this energy shift makes you feel. Mars invites us to take bold steps, and forgiving even a minor hurt is a powerful way to start building emotional resilience.

Tune into the Podcast Here:

<< Tune in Podcast Here>>

Wednesday: Mercury’s Wisdom ??

Theme: Clarity & Communication

Mercury, the planet of communication and intellect, teaches us the power of clear expression and deep insight. Just as Mercury guides us to speak with purpose, today’s message invites you to reflect on the courage it takes to recognize your worth and communicate your truth. In embracing Mercury’s wisdom, we learn to speak up, protect our energy, and honor our value—regardless of others’ opinions or actions.

Notes from the Future:

Hey you, I see you.

I see you showing up every day, doing the best you can.

I see you trusting those around you, hoping they’ll have your back.

I see you working overtime, thinking maybe someone will notice the sacrifice.

I see you struggling in silence as they take credit for your work.

I see you holding back, afraid to outshine those who hold the power.

I see you hesitating to speak up, fearing they’ll shut you down again.

I’m sorry—not everyone carries the weight of integrity.

I’m sorry they too are hurting, afraid of losing their place.

I’m sorry you took it so personally, giving away your power.

But let me remind you: you’re in a different place now.

You’ve recognized your worth and found your confidence.

You’ve learned to speak up for yourself, questioning ambiguity with integrity.

You’ve learned to pick your battles and protect your energy.

You’ve developed a resilience as thick as crocodile skin—nothing they say or do can reach the core of who you are.

You’ve learned to stay calm, cool, and collected, mastering emotional self-regulation.

You’ve learned to be the bigger person, rising high when others went low.

And most importantly, you’ve learned to walk away from anyone or anything that continuously disrupts your peace.

So keep going. Keep your head up, knowing you are enough as you are.

You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Put in the work.

Stay humble.

Be confident.

Shine bright like a diamond, for a diamond was once coal—rough around the edges until it was polished to radiate as it does now.

Key Insight: Growth isn’t just about what you achieve; it’s about knowing when to speak up, when to hold back, and when to let go.

For more inspiring reflections each week, join the EQ Oasis free newsletter, where each week brings you another Note from the Future to help you thrive.

Thursday: Jupiter’s Growth ??

Theme: Expansion & Perspective

Jupiter, the planet of expansion, inspires us to broaden our thinking and open ourselves to new perspectives. Just as Jupiter represents growth, this day encourages us to grow beyond jealousy—whether we feel it toward others or find ourselves the subject of it.

By expanding our thinking, we can shift from limitation to abundance, recognizing that success is not a limited resource and that personal growth is always within reach.

When You’re Feeling Jealous

Practical Strategy:

Use the ABCDE Technique to transform jealousy into a path for personal expansion:

• A: Acknowledge the jealousy without judgment. Recognize that feeling envious is normal and doesn’t define who you are.
• B: Beliefs—Identify beliefs feeding the jealousy, like “Their success limits my own” or “I’m not capable of achieving the same.”
• C: Challenge these beliefs. Ask, Is their success truly a threat to my growth, or can it inspire me instead?
• D: Dispute with expansive thoughts: “There is space for my growth, and I am capable in my own way.”
• E: Energize your own growth by focusing on a personal goal and taking a step toward it today.

Key Insight: Expansion happens when we release comparisons and embrace our unique journey. Jealousy becomes motivation for self-growth when we allow it to shift our perspective.

When You’re the Subject of Jealousy

Practical Strategy:

Apply the ABCDE Technique to maintain your peace and expand beyond others’ jealousy:

• A: Acknowledge the jealousy directed toward you. Recognize that others’ envy often reflects their own limitations, not your worth.
• B: Beliefs—Notice any beliefs you may have about their jealousy, such as “I shouldn’t outshine others” or “I need to downplay my achievements.”
• C: Challenge these beliefs. Remind yourself that your success is valid and doesn’t take away from anyone else’s potential.
• D: Dispute with empowering thoughts like, “There is room for everyone’s growth, including mine.”
• E: Energize by expanding your support network. Connect with others who celebrate growth and foster positive, collaborative relationships.

Key Insight: True expansion is about standing in your worth while remaining open to others’ potential. Your success can be a source of inspiration rather than competition.

Friday: Venus Friday ??

Theme: Self-Love & Worthiness

Venus, the planet of love and beauty, reminds us to honor our inherent worth and embrace who we truly are. On Friday, we turn inward to cultivate self-love and resilience. Just as Venus teaches us to appreciate beauty, our journey today focuses on seeing the beauty in our own strength and the courage it takes to shine authentically, even when the world tries to dim our light.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." — Ralph Waldo Emerson

All your life, you've been told you’re not worth it.

All your life, you've been nudged to play small.

All your life, you've been urged to dim your light.

Yet not once did you pause and wonder:

Why do they try to shade my shine?

Not once did you ask, where does this intimidation come from?

Not once did you consider: perhaps it was never you—it was them.

When we let our light shine, it blinds those who fear their own.

When we stand in our power, it unsettles the unsteady.

When we forget our strength, others seize it.

So as you rise each morning, greet the day with confidence and grace.

Remember how far you’ve come, how strong you are, and how brightly you shine.

Yes, they tried.

They tried to shrink you, but only shrank themselves.

They threw your name in the dirt, only to feel the stain within.

They dug holes for you to stumble, yet you rose—while they remained buried.

So, dear soul, carry this truth with you:

It is your confidence, not arrogance, that will ground you in one unwavering truth:

You are, and always have been, enough.

This message is a reminder to honor your worth and let your light shine without apology. Venus calls us to celebrate our unique beauty and strength, knowing that real love begins within.

Saturday: Saturn’s Shield ??

Theme: Structure & Boundaries

Saturn, the planet of discipline and boundaries, invites us to protect our energy with purpose and clarity. Just as Saturn sets limits to create strength and resilience, we, too, can cultivate boundaries that empower us. Boundaries aren’t barriers; they are bridges to a balanced and fulfilling life. Today, let’s explore three essential boundaries to honor our well-being and inner peace.

1. Protecting Your Time

Strategy: Set clear limits around your time by scheduling focused blocks for work, rest, and personal growth. Don’t hesitate to say “no” when something doesn’t align with your priorities.

Affirmation: “My time is valuable, and I choose to spend it wisely on what nurtures my growth.”

2. Emotional Boundaries in Relationships

Strategy: Practice pausing when faced with intense emotions from others. Give yourself permission to step back, reflect, and only engage when you’re ready. Set limits on conversations that drain you by using phrases like, “Let’s take a break and revisit this later.”

Affirmation: “I honor my emotions by allowing space for reflection and self-care.”

3. Boundaries with Technology

Strategy: Limit your screen time by setting specific times to check emails or social media. Use “Do Not Disturb” modes to ensure uninterrupted time for yourself and loved ones. Disconnect to reconnect with your own inner peace.

Affirmation: “I control my technology use; it does not control me.”

Boundaries are the pillars of a resilient life. Saturn reminds us that setting limits strengthens our inner structure and helps us thrive.

For more on how boundaries can transform your life, join us in the EQ Oasis newsletter , where we dive deeper every week.

Sunday: Solar Shine ??

Theme: Transcending the Fear of Being Seen

As the week comes to a close, let’s embrace the power of self-love and our capacity to shine, no matter what. Often, we rely on the “planets” in our lives—other people, events, circumstances—to either spark or dim our light. But what if you became the sun in your own world, shining on your terms?

That’s what Solar Sunday’s Shine is all about: rising and setting each day based on your inner strength, regardless of the external environment.

Here are three EQ Vitamins to help you step into your Solar Shine:

1. Know Your Worth

When jealousy arises around you, remember: your worth isn’t up for debate. Jealousy often reflects others’ insecurities, not your value.

EQ Vitamin: "Stand tall in who you are—no one can take that away."

Try this: When you feel someone’s envy, remind yourself of everything you’ve achieved. You belong here. ??

2. Stay Grateful

Gratitude helps shift focus back to your own journey. It’s hard to feel burdened when you’re appreciating what you already have.

EQ Vitamin: "Gratitude redirects your energy to where it truly belongs, inwards."

Try this: Make a mental list of three things you’re grateful for in your career. That’s where your focus should be.

3. Embrace Yourself Fully

When you accept yourself as you are, others’ jealousy loses its grip. You’re here to shine, not shrink.

EQ Vitamin: "Embrace your journey—others’ opinions are not a reflection of your reality."

Try this: Each time jealousy arises, take a moment to affirm that your value is yours to define.

For the full EQ Vitamins and more tips on building your own Solar Shine, check out my weekly EQ Oasis Newsletter here .

Looking Ahead & Stay Connected

Next week, I will be sharing how I managed (jealousy in personal life and relationships)

I’d love to hear from you! Have you experienced toxic jealousy in the workplace? Share your story or reflections with me via email or on social media.

Remember, when faced with workplace jealousy, your light is meant to shine, and no one can diminish it without your permission.

With love & gratitude,

Nadja ?? ?? ??

P.S. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs to know they are more than enough too.

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