Turning a devastating layoff into an opportunity to thrive

One of my clients, Ramya (I am not using her original name for privacy reasons), lost her job as a Senior software engineer while on H1B in June 2020. She has two months to find a new job in an economy where there are very few jobs. To make things worse, as an H1B worker, she doesn't qualify for many available jobs. She was devastated by the unexpected layoff and approached me for support. 

As she started applying for jobs and preparing for interviews, reality set in. She hasn't interviewed in over five years, and there is so much to learn. Her stress levels peaked, and she had sleepless nights. She spent most of her time worrying whether she will ever find a job. Soon she realized her main challenge is not something outside, but it is something inside the mind. So we rolled up our sleeves to get to work on the inner demons. As we delved deeper, we encountered the below inner demons:

The first demon is self-blame. Ramya regretted spending the last five years at her job without updating her technical and communication skills.

The second demon is over expectations. Ramya wanted to do fifteen-hour days and learn it all. When she realized that she is unable to do more than two hours a day, her self blame spiraled out of control.

The third demon is fear of failure. Ramya perceived failure to find a job in two months equivalent to the world coming to an end. Hence her stress levels escalated to new heights.

Through our work together, she identified and developed awareness of how her self destructive attitude is working against her. She picked up the gauntlet to fight the demons by taking the below actions:

Letting go of the past: She started releasing some of her resentments that she should have worked on her communication skills. That she should have practiced hackerrank problems. That she should have been much further in her technical skills. She realized that you are taken away from focusing on the moment when you are stuck in the past. Hence she chose to let go of the past as she did the best she can as an engineer, a wife, and a mother of two beautiful kids. She accepted who she is.

Under expect and over-deliver: Instead of setting a goal to work for 15 hours a day and beating herself up for not meeting the goal, I challenged her to not work for more than 5 hours a day. When she aimed for 5 hours a day, her productivity went through the roof, and she started doing 7 hours a day.

Creating a plan B: Fear of failure can be healthy as long as it motivates you to move forward. However, when the fear of failure is too high, it becomes self-destructive. So we decided to work on a plan B worst-case scenario if she doesn't get the job. When she found out that the world doesn't come to an end, and even saw new opportunities in not getting a job in two months, her nerves calmed, and she worried less.

Fighting the inner demons allowed her to stay focused on the things she can control and let go of things she can't. When she achieved a certain state of flow, we knew that she would crack the interview when the right opportunity swings by. Soon her preparation levels met the right opportunity. A few days before the two-month deadline, she heard the good news that she nailed the interview, and the company made an irresistible job offer. Ramya was thrilled. This offer is far better than any job she had before in terms of pay, benefits, and even commute time. The layoff that initially devastated her became the best thing that has happened to her. Ramya turned around a hopeless situation into an opportunity to thrive in her career. 

In summary, times are tough right now, and they are tough for everyone. Those who thrive during these tough times are those who believe they can. It requires a willingness to put in time and efforts to face your inner demons so you can focus on things you can control and let go of things you can't. That's how you turn around a hopeless situation into an opportunity to thrive in your career.