Turning 50: Essay No.2 Value of Mateship

Turning 50 

Series of Essays 

Narrated by Hemant Gokhale

Written by Binda Gokhale

Essay No 2: The value of Mateship:

My early years in Australia evidenced the strong sense of worth and mateship within communities.  

It was my first Sunday in Rochester, living in temporary accommodation, not realising that all the shops were closed.  I was hungry and without any immediate options and as unlikely as we may think now of nothing being open on a Sunday, a day of fasting looked very likely at that time.  The accommodation manger, becoming aware of my predicament, presented unexpectedly with a plate of sandwiches from his home and I was overcome with his generosity. 

Rochester seemed to me a very close nit community.  Primarily farming, factory blue collar, and quiet retirees, there was a sense of pride and resilience in attitudes.  I moved in as a boarder with Mr and Mrs White an elderly retired couple. I lived in the sleepout attached to their old weatherboard house.  Mrs White, gentle and soft spoken would serve tea in a china cup on top of a crocheted tablecloth that she had made.  Always constantly knitting or crocheting, she reminded me so much of my mother in her art and keeping busy.  There was always a community or school stall, church charity or the like to contribute to and her dedication in this regard always stood out.  Sweet smell of cakes and scones wafted through the air creating a new comfortable homely feeling. 

I recall Mr White for his love of football. Watching intently with a blanket on his lap clapping and cheering throughout the game, interrupted only by his loud coughing as he suffered from a chronic respiratory illness.  I took up his invitation to watch with him a number of times, alas, I have to admit, it is a game that I still don’t fully understand.  Even after all these years in Australia, I am still unable to answer that one important question ‘which footy team do you barrack for?’

Mrs White, realising the long walk I had to work each day, assisted me with a second hand bike.  When it was time for my family to join, it was Mrs White again who came with me to inspect lodgings, advising me of what I would need to accommodate my family.  We landed on a unit and Mrs White assisted in negotiating a rent that would be manageable in the immediate term and lent some household items to get us started.  

Mr. Penny at work became a close friend – his character was that of a ‘larrikin’ a term that I later came to learn.  Broad, mischievous smile, who would greet all with that ‘G’day Mate…howya doen’ accompanied by the wink of an eye and the slight jerk to the neck – much to the delight of my children.  I try to explain to my friends who have recently migrated that such warm characters did actually exist, and not just in some movies.  And whilst often in recent times, we as a nation cringe at the stereotype we think it creates for us, the attitude of welcome and inclusiveness that these words portray should be bottled and celebrated in my view. His generosity extended beyond social niceties to offers of their used furniture and clothing for my daughter and son that his children had grown out of. 

Another co-worker Sultan originated from Pakistan and lived with his extended family on a large dairy farm in Kyabram.  We conversed in Hindi and shared many dinners together as families. 

Then there were Iggy and Margaret who had also arrived from Mumbai. Iggy had taken up a teaching post at the local Catholic school. Having grown up in Mumbai, both spoke Marathi. We met unexpectedly walking along the main street in Rochester.  I was amazed at making their acquaintance. If a small town like Rochester had two families from Mumbai, I imagined how large the Mumbai population would be in Victoria. It gave me some comfort that perhaps I was not such a minority and that it was just a matter of time before I connected with more from my homeland.

Chris, a colleague became a close confidant and family friend.  Chris and Muriel had migrated from Germany a few years earlier and Anuradha and I would converse at length with them in German.  Muriel quickly took Anuradha under her wing and introduced her to various ladies auxiliary groups as they existed at that time.

From Chris I started to learn the ins and outs of workplace culture.  I don’t want to dwell too much here on the elements of unfair work practices and discrimination that I experienced but nor do I want to ignore it.  It was a different time, different place, different people and different standards of acceptable behavior. As the sole provider, family security was my primary focus and therefore I felt that I needed to adopt a high threshold of tolerance for what was often blatant verbal abuse. From Chris I gained the confidence to speak out, to hold my self worth and to have the courage to walk away and be prepared to take risks as an early settler.  

My mind grappled with the dichotomy between community and workplace ranks in behavior and social attitudes.  Or perhaps I had just managed to meet with that one person who did not think like the rest.  Perhaps it was just I that needed to toughen up?

I was lucky, in the lucky country and had met some wonderful people who embraced my family. We embraced them back equally. Color, creed or religion did not matter. We shared food, we shared culture, we shared our lives.

A teaching role as a food technologist became available and with that we moved to the nearby town of Shepparton.