Turning 49 Means Pack For Forever

Never before have I considered the meaning of a birthday and its impact on my life.

49 doesn’t mean “time for soul searching” (according to numerology) or “7x7= super good luck” (as per Gematria). It’s not about aging: more gray hairs, wrinkles and pounds. I’m exploring how 49 will propel me forward.

To me, 49 is about preparation. It’s my time to pack for 50 and beyond.

I love to plan and pack. Two of my favorite activities are to plan a Sabbath dinner and pack for a trip. Time stops, I’m focused and methodical. When I design the menu and guest list, it takes time as I imagine the smells and conversations around the table. When I pack for a trip, it takes time as I imagine every scenario and plan for it. Yes, I always pack running shoes and a ball gown.

So what does it look like to plan, prepare and pack for forever?

49 is my time to refine how I spend my time and money. I know the secret to funding your life is to master how you spend your money.

The secret to a happy life is to master how you spend your time.

This year when I look at my net worth and quality of life, I want to move from the whirling dervish dance of chaos to the focused flow of building abundance.

49 is my time to let go of my three sons and allow them to become young men. My two eldest are in college and my 12-year-old would rather spend time with his friends then with Mom. I’ve blessed them, I’ve guided them with my wisdom and values, but I cannot possess them. Well, I am a Jewish mother, so I still may smother them a bit.

49 is my time to listen. I’ll need an endless roll of duct tape to master this. But I know my life will shift when I deepen my awareness and listen respectfully and attentively. I want to listen to my children, lover, friends, clients, colleagues, critics, strangers and most importantly myself.

49 is my time to refine what it means to give. I cannot rescue or change anyone. But I can be there to listen without judgement and support them in the fragile moments. I will still support my favorite causes and create events to build community, but it’s time to shift focus to the small acts of kindness that quietly change people’s lives.

49 is my time to double down on my last year of foundational professional development. In my 30’s and 40’s I grew businesses and built expertise. My 50’s are my time to scale my career and then sustain it into my 60s. Since I’ve transitioned from being a venture capitalist to a wealth manager, this next year will be pivotal on how I position myself within Bernstein to access its resources to guide my clients to manifest their dreams and design their legacy.

49 is my time to acknowledge the gifts G-d gave me and leverage them. If my writing and the quirky way I see the world inspires others, now is the time for me to write more. This year I’ll explore the idea to write a book or two or three. This will be my Kilimanjaro climb.

49 is my time to do more of what I love and explore new hobbies that will keep my brain and body fit for decades. Today, if I don’t dance or write, I’m not feeding my soul. Tomorrow, I want to learn Tennis and Mah-Jongg. Don’t laugh — If I plan to hang with my Golden Girls in 20 years I better learn now!

49 is my time to prepare to do all of the above solo. Until now my life has been surrounded by family. That keeps shrinking. I got divorced. My elders keep dying. Two of my three sons have left the nest, my baby is in middle school. Getting married again is not a goal, but if I did, the fact is 95% of women outlive men. So many I know have lost their love partner and still live a beautiful life. How? They’ve built a circle of steadfast friends.

49 is my time to celebrate these friends who’ve been loyal for years and new ones that enrich my life. To invest time, love and laughter into these relationships is as important as to maximize my retirement contribution.

My friends are my “social security”, securing my future peace of mind.

By the time I’m 50, my life will focus on refining my definition of a good and meaningful life. I will continue to cultivate into my circle remarkable people who inspire me. There will always be someone who’s “better” than me, yet my goal is to be the best version of myself.

It sounds like 49 will be a lot of work. No. To build a better life for me and the ones I care about is not work, it’s what matters.

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