Turning 40-Grief, Hope & Shalmali Trees

"Is the spring coming?" he said. "What is it like?"...

"It is the sun shining on the rain and the rain falling on the sunshine..."

― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

Reflecting on life and mortality is natural as we approach certain milestones, such as turning 40. I stood before the Shalmali tree with its bright flaming red flowers dropping on the green grass with great glory. A month ago, Holi's colours were splashing the earth with its vibrant hues while I was contemplating.

Spring is a season of hope, revival, and rebirth, where the world around us comes alive with new growth and fresh beginnings. It is a time when the cold of winter fades away, and nature seems to awaken from its slumber. One of the most striking sights of spring is the blooming of the Shalmali-Silk Cotton Tree. This majestic tree, also known as the Kapok Tree, produces large red or white flowers that cover its branches in a stunning display of colour. It often reminds me of the Bengali Song:

Jībana?ā kichu na?a
?udhu ēka mu?hō dhūlō
caiti bātāsē u?ā
?imulēra'i tulō        

It literally translates into, "Life is nothing but a fistful of dust. It is nothing but a handful of 'Simul Cotton-silk Cotton from Shalmali' flying with the wind."

My musings teleported me back to March 2020 when this brilliant colleague of mine was joyously listening to my 'gyaan' about the Ayurvedic benefits of Shalmali while it was pouring. Lightning struck, and she jumped out of her skin, clutching my wrist with her childlike innocence. The charming demeanour within days of my new job had made me highly fond of her.

But life is not always smooth sailing. The COVID-19 pandemic wholly upended our world, leaving us feeling lost and uncertain. A couple of months later, she left for her heavenly abode! A WhatsApp message, and she was gone. Her last message was a reply to my question about her health! Those last words-'Bindaas' still haunt me! The loss of a loved one can be particularly devastating. But what about strangers or acquaintances who may not be particularly close? Does their loss can also give us sleepless nights? Grief can impact our ability to function, both emotionally and professionally.

Her memories were still afresh, but I accepted the cycle of nature, somehow like Shalmali. Unfortunately, I am blessed with a stoic coping mechanism, and my bounce is almost instant. Pain touches me in strange ways but remains distant from my eyes. Circumstantial challenges have always made me move on almost instantly, like Shalmali. The Silk Cotton Tree symbolises hope and rebirth as it sheds its leaves during the dry season but comes back to life with the arrival of spring. It is a reminder that even in the most challenging times, there is always the potential for new beginnings and growth.

The sight of the Silk Cotton Tree in full bloom during spring serves as a reminder for me that nature has its way of bringing novelty and energy into the world. The vibrant colours and textures of the tree's flowers are a feast for my eyes and a sign of the renewal of life that comes with each passing year.

Just as nature can revive itself, so do we have the power to start anew and embrace the opportunities that come with each new day.

Well, they say hope and survival can come in unexpected ways!

One such example is a colleague who experienced the unexpected death of his father. The pain of that loss was profound, and he would cry for hours. I still remember him bursting into tears when I said 'Hello'. Grief is a highly personal journey, and I told him the same. You live through your grief, accept it, and one fine day the healing will ultimately make you feel better, and the pain will evolve into extraordinary memories. Hope entered his life through his son's birth. The arrival of a new life, a new beginning, gave him a renewed sense of purpose and the motivation to keep going. This experience highlights the importance of hope and survival in the face of grief and shows that hope can come unexpectedly.

Life is almost like the poem of Pablo Neruda! It always wants to repeat spring in your life most caught unaware:-

I want to do to you what spring does with the cherry trees.

-Pablo Neruda

In the workplace, it is crucial to acknowledge the reality of grief and support those experiencing it. Employers can offer counselling services, bereavement leave, or flexible work arrangements to keep their employees through their grief. It is vital to create a culture where people feel safe to express their emotions, talk about their struggles, and seek help when needed.

While there are countless stories of love and loss like these at workplaces, a few stays with you forever, but they revive back with hope. No matter how broken a person is, we all have the innate ability to bounce back from trauma-we would be surprised what a human mind is capable of! A girl who lost her father is now helping her mother set up an Instagram shop! A lady who lost her brother-in-law just 1 week before her marriage to a terrible accident has recently landed her dream job and is brimming ear-to-ear again

Ultimately, life is precious and fleeting. We must cherish every moment and make the most of it. While we cannot control what happens to us, we can control how we respond. It is up to us to find hope amid despair and hold onto it tightly. Even in the darkest times, there is always a chance for renewal and rebirth, just like the Silk Cotton tree blooms with renewed vitality. We need to remain open to the possibility of growth and renewal, even amid profound sadness.

Much like the Silk Cotton tree, which sheds its leaves and blooms with vibrant red flowers before growing new leaves, we, too, can let go of the past and embrace new beginnings. The tree's resilience and ability to flourish in different environments remind us of our strength and adaptability. We can continue to grow and thrive as we age, blooming with wisdom and experience.

In the end, I would like to quote my favourite poet Pablo Neruda again:-

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep spring from coming."

Pablo Neruda.

Dedicated to the Shalmali Tree in my Office premise!

P.S- In all these cases, my employer brand Lotus Herbals Pvt. Ltd. has been extremely supportive to the employees through bereavement leaves and workplace coalition for grief handling.?