Turning 30

It was my 30th Birthday on Sunday. Am I an actual adult now?

I wasn’t nervous about turning 30 it is, after all, just a number. However, moving from my twenties to my thirties definitely feels like a significant step and a good time to reflect on life so far. 

I’m happy, but should I have achieved more? We grow up in a society that puts a lot of pressure on you to have achieved a killer career, bought a dream house, married the love of your life and have had beautiful babies all by the time you're 30 years old. 

I’ve now come to understand that meeting other peoples expectations is not the measure of true happiness.

Looking back on my three decades, I’m proud. I have finally found a sense of fulfilment that I actually didn’t know I was seeking during my twenties.

If I’d told 20 year old Bethany that I’d be running my own business when I was 30, I don't think she would have believed it. However, if I’d told 10 year old Bethany, she probably would have high-fived me and said “that’s cool!”

It is cool. So why wouldn’t I have believed I could be my own boss when I was 20?

In my twenties while trying to find my place in the world, I lost a sense of individual self. In every job I had, I looked at the most senior person and aimed for their job - when I was in school I wanted to be a teacher, when I was at University I wanted to be a lecturer, every charity I worked for, I wanted to lead, to be a director. Why? I had much more self doubt and less confidence in my own conviction and direction in life, I wanted to do the right thing, do what was expected of me and to ‘succeed’. 

Now, in my thirties I know myself better, I’m comfortable in my own skin and worry less about what people think of me and my choices in life. 

In the run up to my 30th Birthday I’ve had some wonderful conversations with my dear friends who are in their thirties, and I’ve found that I’m not alone, my story of self discovery isn’t unique. We all go through life learning more and more about ourselves and the world around us and I don’t think, well I hope, that learning never stops.

Thank you to everyone who has wished me happy birthday. I had a wonderful day despite it being my second lockdown birthday. I very much look forward to being able to give all my friends and family a big hug some day soon.