Turned to us for assistance

Here are a few ways and not shared as a priority but as a story of how we can engage when invited to do so.

We assist with the children.

It is true that most think of us helping pregnant and parenting mothers and somehow forget the many children that we assist too. In fact, when we count those, we have assisted, we include the children. In our last 20 years, with the last 14 being in a single home with 3 or 5 bedrooms, we have served over 500 women and children. It is only in the last 8 years that we have had our 8-supportive housing apartments.

The first 1,000 days of a child’s life can be their most vulnerable. It is why we matter.

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We assist in employment.

While the end game with our moms is to help break the cycle of poverty and potentially inspire, motherhood can be seen to reinvent a career.

I heard that our counsellor was teaching our moms how to use social media and one of those tools were LinkedIn. I questioned that until I realised just how powerful parenthood could be to the building of their own businesses.

?"Your personal network is the most valuable career asset you have. When I meet someone new, I ask myself, 'Who do I know who could help this person?' and introduce them. Investing time in supporting other people has come back to me tenfold." – Allyson Downey

"Don't be afraid to create something that doesn't exist! If you see an opportunity, take it and never look back. I saw the need for my business idea and had little capital, but I knew I wanted to create it, and everything fell into place. It doesn't have to be perfect from day one, just make a day one." – Karen Beninati

"Do your research. It's very important to not just 'jump in' without researching your new job and/or idea and prepare yourself for the change. Also, don't be afraid to ask friends and family for help." – Lyss Stern

"Use nap time if your kids are babies! I baked, blogged, and party-planned during nap time for years while building my brand." – Jenny Keller

My own daughter launched here new career as a hand-crafted greeting card specialist with her own social media platform and now growing corporate client list having practiced some of the suggestions already mentioned.

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We assist with the loneliness.

Our moms come to us not because single parenthood was a conscious decision. It can be a lonely road to walk. Finding the right partner is difficult. What is clear is that our moms want to be mothers. It is a priority for them. They are willing to consider going it alone. Someone said that becoming a single parent is like jumping off a cliff not knowing what the future holds. As a single mom, that leap can feel more perilous because there is no one beside you to help cushion your landing. Welcome to Michael House.

Michael House becomes the new mom group. Parenthood is one of those things where you don’t really have a clue what it’s like until you’re in the muck of it.

It is exhausting. It is not like any other kind of exhaustion; it is the kind that gets into your bones. It is the exhaustion of weeks and months and even years of constantly interrupted sleep. We can come alongside and plan for those getaway weekends with family.

It is lonely. Who do you celebrate with when your child crawls or rolls over for the first time? What about when your baby cries every time you put them down. There seems to be no moments to yourself between constant feeds, diaper blowouts, and outfit changes. Before you know it, it’s 1pm and you haven’t brushed your teeth or taken a shower in how long and you’re about to cry from exhaustion and frustration.

It is lonely when there is something wrong with your child or there’s an issue that needs to be looked at, and suddenly you’re faced with major decisions to make.

It’s lonely when you get sick, and there’s no one to take the baby so you can sleep or go to the doctor.

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We assist in self-care.

Self-care matters. Maybe you like to read or do yoga every morning. Maybe a coffee run. Maybe taking naps. The little things that can recharge your soul. It is not being selfish, it’s self-preservation.

Finding your mom group. There needs to be a support system. It is not the same as family, extended family or even friends. One needs a mom group. There needs to be a place where you can vent about what a jerk your toddler is being. Space to confess what a “bad” mom you felt you were, only to be met with “hey, I’ve done that, too.”

It's okay to not always love it. While you wanted to be a mother more than anything, there are times when you wonder if you bit off more than you can chew. It’s overwhelming because you are human. It’s hard, and you expected hard, but it’s harder and more draining than you had imagined. It’s frustrating and exasperating and tedious. It all falls on me, 24/7. Making the appointments. Negotiating. Deciding on treatment plans and doctor visits. Taking care of the apartment and managing financial issues.

It really does take a village. Allow the help and ask for it. Being a mom should change the way you advocate for yourself.

Becoming a single parent can bring strong emotions, including relief, excitement, anger, fear, and sadness. It can also be a time for learning about yourself and finding new directions. Give yourself time, recognise your strengths, and focus on the things you can control.