Turned On “Unleashed Potential: Working With Your Gifts”

All right. Welcome back here. We are at another episode of the Chardon podcast. My name is David. Norrie the woman next to me. Are you smuggling a basketball underneath her? Is that what that is? Yeah, it feels like to basketball. The woman next to me is pregnant. It's bigger than a basketball. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, I don't know, but it's, let's just put it this way.

00:00:24

Angelike Norrie

If you hear heavy breathing it's because I'm really uncomfortable. It is very yeah.

00:00:29

David Norrie

Comfortable. I pregnant. And I'll give you, I'll give you a little love here, pregnant and still crushing business. Still doing, working every day because we have it. Here's the thing nowadays, we just, the economy is changing. The way we work is changing. The business principles seem to be changing and, and here at the turned on, you know, podcasts, we believe that a turned on business philosophy, which is one of the four pillars. It's crucial to what we do. The business philosophy is to always be kind of looking ahead and seeing, Hey, what's coming rather than being stale or stagnant and looking in their rear view mirror, you want to be looking through the windshield.

00:01:06

David Norrie

So that brings us to our, our guests today, which I'm thrilled to have. His name is Jeff Forester and author of unleashed potential. Right. And it's a great, it's a great book. And I think that's, that's what we all are looking for. How do we, how do we tap into our full potential? How do we tap into the things that are going to serve us best? Not only right now, because we know the speed of business changes on the dime, but what can we do as fast as the Facebook algorithm?

00:01:40

David Norrie

Yeah. What can we do that re that really moves the needle. And before I say, well, I'll say, hi, Jeff, but I'll let you say hi in a second, because I want to Edify this man. And the reason why I choose to Edify this man is because Jeff and I met and he actually pours into people without anything in return. Now, a lot of people preach that and a lot of courses and guru's business, people will tell you to do that, but it's one thing for people to tell you. And it's one thing for people to actually do it day in and day out consistently, literally without expecting anything in return.

00:02:15

David Norrie

So Jeff texted me once a week. Hey, is there anything for you that you need? I can pray for. He's always the first one to comment on my stuff, share it. And that has reciprocated a mutual respect and a love for him because he's a father, he's a husband. He's a great man walking in his faith. And I don't say that lightly. And I don't, I don't blow up too many people as you know, Hey, the way I talk about Jeff and you know, I've talked about him for a while, so I'm just really happy to have you on the show.

00:02:45

David Norrie

And it's an honor, Jeff, how are you? Well, after that, I'm doing great. I don't know what to say after all that. Other than that, thank you. Yeah. You personify.

00:03:00

Jeff Forester

Yeah, go ahead.

00:03:02

David Norrie

We're going to get right into it. You know, we, we like to ask what, what was your turned on moment, obviously you and I know each other and I have kind of an idea, but I'll let you explain what was your, your aha turned on.

00:03:13

Jeff Forester

There's been a, there's been quite a few and that's, what's phenomenal. So there's, there's, I'll try to narrow it down. Cause I know that this isn't a six hour Joe Rogan type podcast, but the, the, the first one that really set me on this path that led to this book was in my senior year in high school. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So I'm a high school senior. He owned his own business and that day he goes in for a biopsy.

00:03:46

Jeff Forester

And that's when he stayed in the hospital to have chemotherapy and everything. So that Wednesday I had to not go to school and go open the store. And so Thursday we had Thanksgiving and then Friday from that Friday until I graduated high school, I opened the store every day. And it was something that I had to do. So talk about growing up quick and, and being forced to get turned on. That was one of those events because it was just him and my mom that ran it. And from that, that was the only income we had for the family.

00:04:17

Jeff Forester

So I started then, and then my mom and I ran it all the way through college. So I did both college and work. And so I did the Tommy boy plan where I took about six years to graduate, but I graduated me to university of Florida. So that was a great thing, right, David that's right. And then from there, you know, it was interesting it's that's when my professional career started because of, I had to see my dad as an entrepreneur, just all the struggles.

00:04:50

Jeff Forester

So I saw the opposite side, that entrepreneurship brings that most people don't glorify in their Facebook stories and their Instagram stories. It was no retirement, no vacation, no savings. You work all day every day. You can never turn it off. And that's what I saw every single day. And from that, I was like a mom and that's not going to be me. I want to go find a good job, or I get a vacation, I get a paycheck, but it's weird.

00:05:20

Jeff Forester

Like you think that's a, that that's secure and safe, but it's a false sense of security because then you become really, I guess, attached to that. And you get what a lot of people call the golden handcuffs, regardless of the pay that you get. You just don't think you can ever take a chance again. And you and I had this false sense of security, but through that, I've learned so much along the way that has been helpful. And then there's been moments where that, and growing up, I, and I, and I talk about it in the book is that I was overweight as a kid.

00:05:57

Jeff Forester

So my self esteem was about this big, and then I would go lose. I lost a ton of weight, but I did it to try to get accepted by people. Not because I felt like it was something that I can do. So I just was continuing to search and look for something else. So, you know, to use the analogy I still wasn't turned on yet. I just hadn't had that light switch flicker.

00:06:19

David Norrie

Interesting. Well, I love it because we're going to dive into all of that. We're going to dive into the book. We're going to dive into the weight loss, but let's do this because that, this is interesting. Like you said, how often do we hear entrepreneurs come in and talk about those things. And then you got a great perspective. You've got a perspective from a young man.

00:06:39

Jeff Forester

Then you actually had to do the work yourself.

00:06:41

David Norrie

You said, Hey, this is something that it doesn't have any retirement. I get no days off. I'm completely responsible. There's a lot of hard work. And then you did the opposite. You went into the nine to five corporate world, and now you have a vision of both. So Angie, I know you are excited about this because there's so many things in there that we can pick on,

00:07:01

Jeff Forester

But let's go back to this. Let's go back to comparing

00:07:05

David Norrie

What it's really like to be an entrepreneur. I mean, because it sounds exciting, the word and people always want to slap that title on themselves. But what you said is interesting. Now your dad owned what it was a toy store, correct? Yes. Cool. So imagine that your dad owns a toy store. It's the day before Thanksgiving, and then you get terrible news, right? That's a tough thing to handle. What was the first thing that you remember going into that toy store and working there, taking over for your dad?

00:07:36

David Norrie

What's the, what's the thing that rings most prominently in your head. Now

00:07:44

Jeff Forester

Nobody's ever asked me that question. So I'll, I'll take a second. And what it was, it was one of those things because I have a vivid memory every day of going in, the lights were off and you just unlock the door. You go in, you lock the door behind you, and then you start to, you get the money out, you put the money in the drawer, you go through, you start to turn the lights on and you sweep and you, you go around and you just do the basic cleaning things. Right. So I just remember that was just what I did.

00:08:16

Jeff Forester

And that's what I had done before, because he'd always had me come in there and I never, I didn't, I don't think I thought about it just being transparent is it was one of those things that I was in shock. And I think I was in shock for the most of my adult life about that moment. And it was, it was interesting because I just remember just going, like, it wasn't an option. It wasn't, Hey, Jeff, will you go open the store? It was, you know, make sure you're down there by eight 30, you know?

00:08:46

Jeff Forester

And so we called the school for, so I went to a small private school and they're like, yes, just go get that taken care of. We'll figure out once you kind of see what's going to happen, what's going to go next. And so I just unlocked the door and I remember so for anybody, who's in retail, Thanksgiving to Christmas, that is your sweet spot. Like that's, that's where you make all your money for the rest of the year. And that's when Thanksgiving, we opened seven days a week. So that was the only thing I thought in my head is like, here we go.

00:09:18

Jeff Forester

You know, it's, it's now Monday, Sunday to Sunday, every single week until after new years. And then you just worked every day. And I remember it was great because we had some guys that were part time, some college guys that were helping my dad out some. And so my mom was like, well, I can't come. And she didn't want me down there by myself. So she just reached out to this guy and it's like, Hey, would you come down? And he's like, sure, I'd be happy to cause he wanted extra money. And that's when it started. And that's, there's some incredibly fond memories that I have of, of that store minus the money.

00:09:55

Jeff Forester

Yeah, go ahead. Well, it, well, the one thing is, and I want to bring Angelica on this because not everybody has lost a parent, but we're going to, cause I know you both have. And the thing that rings out to me is capacity. We've been talking about capacity a lot lately because sometimes we don't realize if we have, we don't, we never think we have the capacity until like you said, Hey, I didn't have any other choice. You know, I had to do this. So if you're listening out there where we'll dive into a little bit here, maybe there's something going on in your life.

00:10:25

Jeff Forester

Maybe it's maybe it's the COVID right now. Maybe it's a lockdown. Maybe you've had your business really hurt. Maybe you're a personal trainer. Maybe you're a hairstylist. Maybe you're some other type of business. It doesn't necessarily necessarily have to be a brick and mortar. But what happens is somethings happen, maybe it's personal, maybe it's on a global scale, your capacity has changed. And what were you thinking about when you heard Jeff tell that story? Because you went through a similar thing with your mom. We didn't have the ability to just stop working.

00:10:55

Jeff Forester

You can't just say, Hey world timeout, I'm going to go over here and crawl in a shell or grieve or cry. I have to do this. What's that like,

00:11:06

3

You know, immediately like w when you said it, it's just, it takes me back to the moments in time. When I got the news for each one of my parents, my father was also had lung cancer, my mother breasts. And it's just like the whole world stops, but it keeps going, you know, like you, everything stops in your mind and that there's nothing, you know, that, that can make it better or change your outlook or whatever. It's just like, okay, well, what needs to be done?

00:11:38

3

And I remember being asked this question once before, because we've had babies throughout this whole thing and moves and businesses and, and, you know, and you were dealing with your in high school. I mean, it just, just these different juggling pieces. And the question I was asked, I was like, well, how did you manage all of that? And I was like, you know what? You just kind of learned to stay in the zone of what you're called to steward at that moment. And that's exactly how I can talk about capacity with it.

00:12:10

3

It's just because it was not like, well, I have the potential to be a caretaker. Like it has nothing to do with potential. It's like, no, this is what you're given right now. And you got to turn the volume up. Like, there is no, Hey, can you go do this? It's Hey, you have to go do this. And you have to actually rise to the occasion. And people just don't realize they don't have that. They think that they don't have that dog or that dig. You know, they think that they don't have that ability to turn it up.

00:12:41

3

But when you're thrown something in your way, in your path, that disrupts your whole world in an instant, you learn capacity really quickly. And you learn how to compartmentalize, how you manage those things that you were called to take care of in turn for responsibility.

00:12:59

Jeff Forester

So did I know how you dealt with it? And sometimes you book packed it away. Jeff, how did you deal with it? Where it was the weight loss and was the weight gain coming on or was that a result of trauma? Oh, no. I only say it was because I loved food and I still love food. No. And I I'm sure that some of that is, I know that I have an emotional eating problem. If I'm happy, I like to eat. If I'm sad. I like to, I kind of, I flux between the two and looking at you when you told me that you were overweight. Cause I, if you guys are seeing this, if you see Jeff, I'm like, ah, you, you know, I can't put you overweight and then you showed me the picture.

00:13:34

Jeff Forester

And I was like, wow, you weren't kidding. I was a big boy, you know? And it wasn't like, I wasn't built like the rock by any means, you know? But you know, I think the, the way you, you said pack it away is that was something that I did do. And it took me a long time, probably up until a couple of years ago to really know how dangerous that can be to pack it away. And the, like, the more you pack it away, then something else gets on top of it.

00:14:06

Jeff Forester

And then all of a sudden it gets there. So then you create a lie to other people of I'm fine, I'm good. You know, and then you pack something else on. And then before, you know, it, you feel like, at least I did, I felt like I could handle everything on my own, which is the worst thing to think that you can do. So for me, it was, it was the, the store was an anchor, but it was also a blessing at the same time because it kept me busy.

00:14:36

Jeff Forester

And so a busy mind is usually it's, you don't have to deal with things when you're busy is the best way to put it. And so I created, I learned how to do that, that I didn't have to face things that I didn't want to face by being busy. That followed me for the up until just the last couple years that were, the more I worked. I didn't have to deal with anything. So I would just kept working so I could avoid it. And then something bad would happen at work.

00:15:06

Jeff Forester

So I would work more and then something, you know, it just, it continued to snowball. So I know I've gone way off your question, but it was that, that trauma that happened that I chose not to face and deal with because I'm a good Southern boy that you don't deal with, stuff like that. You just swallow it and move on. That's the kind of stuff that just continued to haunt me. And that that's the best way to say, you know, through the most of my adult life. And I didn't realize it until I really started to think about it and see how one thing led to another and how one decision would lead to another whether right or wrong.

00:15:46

Jeff Forester

And then you've got to deal with it. At some point, we all know that the good Lord is going to push it right in front of us. And I don't think it's necessarily him pushing it, but at some point in our lives, we have to face everything we've tried to hide from. And how you do that is it's like, which way do you go? You know, do you face it, like Angelina said, and you just, you understand the capacity that you need to have and tap into all the skills that you've learned to help you manage through that. Or do you go the opposite way and hide in a bottle or just feel like that there's no end and you just go down a whole nother path.

00:16:22

Jeff Forester

And so fortunately for me, when all that came to a head, I just, that was my real turned on moment where I just gave it up.

00:16:30

David Norrie

So what your faith walk at this at this time? What, cause I know in, in unleashed potential, you talk a lot about, you know, your faith and how that helped and then where you are today. And again, leading, because right now people are unsure of things and, and they're just like, well, I don't know if my job is going to be there. I don't know if the economy is going to be there could get better. It could get worse. Where's your faith walk at that point? Or when did it start? When did you start it? Cause I know you're a type a guy and you like to control things and you're very

00:16:57

Jeff Forester

Organized. Right. And we've always very much. Yeah.

00:17:00

David Norrie

So when did you start to surrender some of that to God

00:17:02

Jeff Forester

At two years ago? I mean, it's just a little over two years ago. It was when I really gave it up. I mean, I feel like, cause I was raised in a really solid Christian home, had a really good Christian background, good foundation. And I feel like many times people who are raised in that take that for granted. And so I didn't know what I had. And so I did the church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday. I prayed before I ate, I would pray usually before I would go to bed. Definitely. When anything bad happened, I would pray occasionally if something good happened, I would give thanks.

00:17:37

Jeff Forester

But it was that I had a relationship with Jesus and I had been baptized and I accepted him as my savior, but I D I wasn't all in yet. Like I wasn't fully just I'm going to surrender it all because I know I don't have it. And it was the control. And I feel like it was some of that that came from my father's death that I just didn't, I didn't have the tools to know how to do it and where I was always taught Bible stories, but I didn't learn how to apply them to my everyday life.

00:18:09

Jeff Forester

And that's what I'm hopeful that people will, will get from our conversation. And what you guys share on a regular basis is you have to apply the things that you learn otherwise it's, it just doesn't do anybody any good. It might give you a warm and fuzzy feeling, but you got to put it into play. And that's what happened was two years ago, I just, I hit the end and I was like, I can't do it. I just, I don't have, didn't have the capacity to do it anymore.

00:18:50

Jeff Forester

Well, alright. I didn't know that was coming. Hey, you know what?

00:18:53

3

We're all human emotion. That's important to feel. Hey, you know what? I want to say something before David, because what just happened there with your emotion coming out is such an important piece of your journey and, and mine that I've had to learn sometimes David's like, you can't just ever just be in the moment or you don't know how to, you know, find joy or whatever. I'm like, I relate so much to what Jeff was saying, because for so long, I mean, it was a decade of my life with intense background noise between my mom and dad.

00:19:27

3

And that was a gross realization for me when I was going through just, you know, different types of reprogramming and it's called EMDR, but it helps. It helps you reprogram these memories. And, and I was like, I couldn't even pick a memory. I had to go back over a decade cause to find a memory that didn't have a memory, you know, something attached to it that was intense. And what you learn is you become so desensitized to pain, desensitize to emotion in reacting to how you feel in that moment that eventually you don't even know how to feel

00:20:11

Jeff Forester

Like, right? It's like,

00:20:14

3

You're just numb and you just keep going. You just learn to stay busy. You learn to work more. You learn to bury yourself. Some people turn to a bottle. I turned to work, you know, but you guys are

00:20:27

Jeff Forester

You're similar person, you and Jeff, you're resilient. You're, you're, you're the type of people that I could totally see both of your stories coming together because you don't know how to turn it off. I mean, angelic, your mom died in mid July and in August you were speaking in front of 15,000 a year later. Oh. But still she died the 19th of July

00:20:48

David Norrie

And the next day was our child. My daughter's first birthday. So it's like this paradox of emotions. And you're just, and then two days later you're burying your parent and you're like, what the hell does happen? So from a business standpoint again, so we can relate to everybody from a business standpoint, these are the things that look we're, we're always formed by our experience. And I think what happens is I know in my twenties and what happens is we think we know it all and we want all the answers, but there's just something that you can't get at any college.

00:21:18

David Norrie

There's something that you can't get at any book. And that's, that's plain life experience because the only way to really grow is by having something thrown at you. And it's not a do over. It's not a hypothetical. It's not a, maybe it's not in a book. It's like, this is real life go. Yeah. And then it's really cheap. Tell us Jeff, how that shaped you as a man, as a husband, as a father.

00:21:42

Jeff Forester

Well it's, and I don't know if this was coined from him, but like Mike Tyson said, everybody's got a plan to get punched in the face right out the window. And you hear a combat veteran say is, there's no way to prepare how you're going to handle getting shot at. And two, you get shot at like nobody knows the reaction. And so, you know, you always hope that you're going to respond to things with strength and courage and toys. But I don't know, like I don't, if my house, all of a sudden caught on fire, you know, you, you hope as a parent, if, if your, if your child's in there, I mean, I know without question I would run in.

00:22:20

Jeff Forester

Yeah. But do you really know if all of a sudden the whole thing's in golf, but again, as a parent, there's no question I'm going in and I don't care what happens to me, but there's so many other situations. What if it's a stranger, would you do the same thing for a stranger? And nobody knows there's those people that just react and go in there and do it. And then there's other people who may hesitate. So from my perspective, you know, when, when that happened early on and when other events have happened and, and what I'm learning now is just, you know, you focus on your strengths to help you get through those situations, but you can't ignore the weaknesses that, that exist in those are the things that eventually will rear their head.

00:23:03

Jeff Forester

Like I just shared and showed you that those, those things will come back when you least expect it. And so it's being real about it. It's knowing how to manage through those things, having a confidant, you know, like the two of you where you can just say, look, you know, today's just awful. Yeah. Not good. I'm not at my best. I'm sorry. And, but that takes a lot of courage between both people, because you have to have faith that that person won't judge you and where I was awful at judging other people.

00:23:37

Jeff Forester

So then I was scared to tell anybody something else, because I knew how I would react if somebody said that to me. So, and I don't know if I just your well, no, but

00:23:46

David Norrie

That brings me to a great point. I was actually going to ask you this next is because you share with me. And the last time we talked, I wrote it down. Cause I thought it was pivotal. You were saying how you know, with, with Tammy, your wife, that you, it came to a point where there's a conversation and you just told her, you know, all these things that you have been holding back because we are human and there's only so much you can hold inside. And then what you said, I don't know if you want to tell a story, you remember our conversation. They tell, tell us that, cause I want it to come from you. And I think this is very important for you.

00:24:13

Jeff Forester

Yeah. Cause that's my most recent, I would say, you know, from, from a faith standpoint, from everything standpoint, that's like my true turned on moment was that moment is that I just got to that point where I was exhausted. I just had no more capacity to just continue. And I was just at a point where I just, I just gave everything up from childhood until adulthood and we just talked and I had never done that to anybody. I mean, I would go to counselors and I would lie to the counselor because I didn't want them to judge me.

00:24:44

Jeff Forester

I wanted to be seen as strong and I had it together, but I'm just coming to make sure that I'm okay. And then she looked at me and this is the beautiful part. And she's like, okay, I'm still here. And it was like, Whoa, she is. And it was such a beautiful moment. And it was just those simple words had a, just a extremely dramatic effect. Not only on our relationship, but all my life that now.

00:25:14

Jeff Forester

Okay. I can trust somebody. I can't fully, and we've been married 12 years. And that was the first time that I just fully gave everything that I had over to her and said, okay, I'm safe. That if I could, if I did it, I didn't, you know, at that point I had no options. I just needed to just get everything out. And from there I just felt safe. And I, if people could just understand that somebody out there wants to be your safe Harbor, whether you know them or not.

00:25:47

Jeff Forester

And there's hotlines out there that that's what people need to feel is that moment of just having a confidant that you can tell anything to, they can tell anything to you without judgment. And they're just going to sit there and listen and not try to solve your problem. I mean, it was like, I mean stuff from like five years old, it was a whole Goonies moment when chunk is like, tell me where you come from and he's going through. It's like, well, this one time in third grade, we went to the balcony and it's, but it felt really good.

00:26:19

Jeff Forester

It felt unbelievable. And that's what has ultimately changed my life. It's turned my life back on is giving everything to her, allowed me to just release everything and then giving everything to God and just turn it in all over. And that's when just all of these things within the book within my life has just come to fruition of just, and it wasn't overnight. I'm not going to, I don't want to make anybody think that this was an overnight process. I don't want anybody to think that I have it all figured out.

00:26:50

Jeff Forester

It's an everyday learning. It's constant prayer, constant thought, constant and Angelique. You said a second ago, reprogramming my brain to be a different person and be a better person. And it's, I mean, it's, it's proven that you have to do positive self-talk all the time. And that's what people don't think about when they say, Oh, this job's killing me. What if you say that eventually it will. There's no question, but it also won't make it a good environment.

00:27:20

Jeff Forester

So you may think it, and somebody was telling me the other day and I probably going to get it wrong, but we have to stop listening to our thoughts and tell our thoughts what they need to be. And I thought about that. I was like, you know, you're right. Cause there's a lot of weird stuff that goes on up here. And if it comes out here, that's when I usually get in trouble.

00:27:41

3

Yeah. Well it w we can't always control what enters our mind, but we can control what we do with it once it gets there. And that's where I believe a strong relationship with God too also helps. It's just like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. We know that was a lie. That certainly doesn't sound like something. God would say, what does he have to say about this? And, and just being able to, again, flip those little switches. Yep. That would be the, you know, turned on body because essentially

00:28:10

Jeff Forester

Part of it and it's turned on friendships. Right. So I know David and I have gone back on some really deep stuff of, you know, just spiritual thoughts and political thoughts and having those people that are not disliked minded, but it will challenge the, what you think, but then provide some for us. It's the biblical background and foundation that you're like, Oh, I'd never, Oh, I hadn't read that verse before I get it. I see it. And that's the stuff that just continues to turn your brain on, to just think in a different way.

00:28:40

Jeff Forester

And it's just, it's cool. It's I love my life. Love it. I'm glad to hear that. And I, and I, and I've, I've learned a lot from you and we have really been friends for a long time, but it feels like it, you know, we we've, we've really developed this. We've developed it, you know, even over the last four months with, with all this is going on, thank God for technology. Cause you know, it turned on, we talk about limiting technology, but we also know it's useful. We don't want to bad mouth it, Jeff, what, what category are, is your book? And we're going to get into a little bit more about the book. And I just want to know, so I know it's unleashed potential.

00:29:12

Jeff Forester

We've been talking about the potential here in our marriage. We've been talking about the potential kind of in the business. But if you were to say what category this book would fall under, is there one, Oh, I know the ones that Adam Davis had put it under. I think I know him. I don't really know I'm going at some of this stuff blind since this is my first one I would say for me is it's not one of those books. At least I didn't intend it to be where it has all the answers. What I'm hoping that it will do is each, each is their own individual and each person has their own path.

00:29:44

Jeff Forester

And what works for me, isn't always the answer that works for other people, even if they're similar to me. And so what I try to do in this book is ask questions to make people think, and then be intentional about everything that they do. Cause if, if people would just be more intentional, they can turn their life around. And so I don't know if that, I don't know if there's a specific category, but it's, I hate to use self-help, but it's literally, I'm trying to help people.

00:30:11

David Norrie

Everything is kind of self-help, but let's talk about that. So, because you're, you're very focused. And so let's, let's talk about quickly how you lost the weight, because I think that says a lot about your business and, and, and then we could kind of use that as a parallel to look at both. So, because you lost the weight, I remember your story, but I want you to tell it.

00:30:30

Jeff Forester

Yeah. So, so this was, I graduated high school, I weighed 270 pounds. And like, as we talked about, I was, I was a big boy. And so from that, I felt like, okay, I need to lose weight, not getting any girls that, you know, there's always a vain reasons that you do. It had not really thought about health. So I, the way it started was, is I had a motive. So however sincere that it was, it was a motive. And then I love to be in groups of people. I'm not a lone Wolf, so to speak, I, I can be by myself, but I've never really enjoyed that.

00:31:03

Jeff Forester

And so, and like you said, I'm also a list guy. So I like notebooks. I like checklists. Cause it feels really good to check everything off as we go. And so I looked at those two things. And so there were some guys at the store that were, were friends. One guy knew some things about working out and another guy was kind of in my position, just wanted to do some things different. So we found a plan. And then from that plan, we gathered our little gang that we had, that we wouldn't go to.

00:31:33

Jeff Forester

We'd work out five days a week. And we did, you know, one week it was, you know, chest and back Monday, Wednesday, Friday legs and shoulders on Tuesday, Thursday, we would just rotate that through just old school, 1990s workout stuff. And through that, I had a meal plan that I followed and had all these things that I followed. And I did really well. I was 30 pounds the first month. It was just doing tremendous as we went and getting, it was the strongest that I've ever been.

00:32:03

Jeff Forester

You know, I was leg pressing over a thousand pounds and squatting 400 pounds and just all this stuff. But what, what I started to find was that through this, this was great. As long as I had everybody around me and I had guidance, well, when the plan was over, then I at least had some workout stuff, but I didn't have a meal plan to follow. So then the burgers and the fries worked their way back in and then one guy moved. Then the other guy got a girlfriend. So they're just me again. And so from there, I continued to work out, but not at the same intensity level.

00:32:38

Jeff Forester

So I started to see that I needed people around me to pour into me. But then I also saw that I was codependent on other people to get that, that raw, raw that I needed to high five when we were in the gym. And so I needed a tribe. So it wasn't one of those things that I did that well on my own.

00:33:01

3

Yeah. You know, it's funny because I'm thinking about what we talk about a lot in our turndown method is we have the core four, which is the people around us. Can you need your crew before your crisis? And at that point, when your crew kind of dismantles and you realize you have a codependency on them, then obviously we've been in something that they'd be less reciprocal, you know, than we would like for it to be. So I guess my question for you then is, is like, what do you, what do you, what did you w with learning that, what did you do next so that you didn't live with codependency, but you also still honored the fact that it's really important to have relationships where iron sharpens iron and where you can maintain those switches and keep the lights on,

00:33:46

Jeff Forester

Right? Yeah. It was over just over the years. Cause that was a long time ago. Now that I just knew that I needed to have a group of friends that I could always, I guess, quote, unquote, rely on. Now the problem with that is if you get the wrong friends that you link up with, you can then follow that path. So it's, it's really understanding the tribe, the crew that you have because they could, they could indirectly teach you how to handle a crisis improperly. And so that's what I see now.

00:34:18

Jeff Forester

And, and it's funny as I, as I look at everything and I see is that we all have the ultimate crew of three people that follow us every day, right? So we got God, Jesus and the Holy spirit. And if you have that crew that you can always tap into, you know, your directions always going to be the right way to go. I wish I would've learned that. Then I'm glad I learned it now. So it's like the practical subject matter when he came home, he did finally come home. And so that's where those were some of the things that I did learn over time, but it's, it's having a plan it's knowing what you're capable of and really understanding what makes you, I guess, what gets you moving and then being aware of, like you said, Angelica, just being aware of the crew that you have, you need iron sharpens, iron.

00:35:11

Jeff Forester

It's just all those, those things that, that are necessary because even the people that are lone wolves, they need people around them. So what do you think? So, you know, let's talk about potential here. Why do you think some people don't live up to their potential? You know, I'm big in the turned on book, I talk about people going on, cruise control. And, and I think at sometimes people just say, well, yeah, life didn't turn out way I wanted. So I'm

00:35:38

David Norrie

Just going to kind of go on cruise control. And that's when they turned themselves to advices like food vices, like alcohol and drugs. But look at any age, we can reinvent ourselves. So the potential is a part of that. I mean, I always tell people, Hey, guess what? There are no do overs. This isn't a dress rehearsal. So don't think that had, I'll say that in my next life, like a video game, you know, in my next life, I'll have more energy and I'll be able to do this. So what have you seen about people's potential? And, and especially from a godly, from a godly perspective about God gave you this life, he gave you all the tools to succeed.

00:36:12

David Norrie

So talk about that for a second. Yeah. So,

00:36:15

Jeff Forester

You know, for me, fear, I, and I can only speak from my position as what helped, what kept me from doing things was just fear. Not just fear of what would happen, but fear of the hard work that I was going to have to put in, because it's just not going to be easy. There's a great book called mindset by Carol Dweck. And it talks about fixed mindset and growth mindset. And I know that's a term that we've all heard. I know, looking back, I was 100% of fixed mindset person. It was, if it wasn't easy, I'm out of there. It didn't matter if it was schoolwork, if it was sports or whatever it was, if it wasn't easy, then I was the victim.

00:36:52

Jeff Forester

I played the victim. I was like, Oh, why am I not any good at this? And they're that good at it? Because I just wanted to naturally be good at everything I wanted just to be the best at whatever I did with, there's nothing wrong with that. But when you're not how you respond to that, that was my problem because I didn't want to do the work to be, I remember it like it was yesterday. I would, I was a big wrestling fan growing up in Florida, we would watch WTS, you know, the NWA and stuff like that. And I remember one day and those guys were just built.

00:37:24

Jeff Forester

They were massive. And I was, I don't know, maybe 10, 11 years old. I remember I was like, I just want to, I want to go to sleep. And I want to wake up looking like that. And that's what everybody thinks. They think about that in their business. They think about it in their relationships. I just want to go to sleep looking like I do. Now. I want to wake up with six pack abs and big pecs and massive arms that doesn't happen. And, and that's where, you know, when you think about all these overnight successes, it was 20 years of work.

00:37:56

Jeff Forester

It was 30 years of work that led to that. You know, Kevin Hart talked about his book was fantastic. His cause he was talking about the, his overnight success, took him 25 years. Nobody saw him broke, had a hundred dollars and he didn't know if he was even going to be able to pay his rent and all these different things. And everybody has a story like that. Rock stars, nobody sees the, the hours and the days and the years of playing dives in front of two people. And,

00:38:25

David Norrie

Well, yeah, there's a little bit, there's a little band from Florida called Leonard Skinner and I, and I, and I watched their a documentary and that's what they said. They go probably the hardest band ever. Like, and they, and they practice. They literally cause some people like, Oh, we'll just, we'll just jam. He said, no, they literally had like this relentless practice schedule and everybody's on the same page. And when they got, when they got their time, when they had their big break people like that's the most Chris sounding band and everything always sounded great. So again, like you said, whether it's a band or it's a wrestler or it's a CEO of a company or whatever it is, we only see the highlights and like Angelica and I were talking a couple episodes ago.

00:39:07

David Norrie

We only see either highlights or week we talk about the dip, right. People will talk about, well, I was homeless and now I'm rich or I was this and Al Matt and it's just the very dip. And then the very highlight. And they don't see all the turmoil in the middle sometimes it's years of, of being an okay spot or it's years of moving just a little bit, but not at Lightspeed. And that's what we don't see. So I love that part.

00:39:31

3

Well, it reminds me of when I was training in martial arts, because it was a T it was tireless. I was tireless with it because I wasn't just training. I was training to teach as well as training to compete and you know, and so on and so forth. So I remember specifically one night and I, this was early.

00:39:50

David Norrie

Like I was like a yellow belt

00:39:54

3

And my, my master was teaching me a black belt technique because if I was helping them in the floor, I needed to also help him with higher ranks from time to time. And I must've fallen on my rear end, at least a dozen times in about a two hour period trying to master this one kick. And he stopped me cause he was holding up x-ray paper. Cause that was like our target for speed. And he stopped me put the extra paper down. He goes, ms.

00:40:24

3

Suenos, you are a yellow bus.

00:40:27

David Norrie

This is a black belt.

00:40:29

3

You're not going to learn it in one night. And it was like, that was a light bulb moment for me because all of my frustration in my nature for, for what I believed my overachieving potential to be is that I'm going to do this now, before I leave tonight. And the reality was is I was going to hurt myself a million times, even as a black belt, you don't ever just master something. You know, it is there's this ever evolving desire and innate feeling to want to grow and being in that growth mindset versus a fixed one.

00:41:05

3

But there are some people, and I've seen this in, even in our daughter sometimes it's like, she can't get it right then she's like, I'm just not good at it. I'm like, well, that's not the right mindset. Where did that come from? You know? So we have to be able to break through those patterns strongholds so that we can start seeing the fruit of the talents that we're given to then invest. And so it just, it takes me back to those moments when I hear you say that, because I really believe that is a piece of, there's like a secrecy in that that many people miss, you know?

00:41:41

3

And, and it pains me when I see it because there's nothing worse, especially in, in place of mentoring. People is like actually seeing what they can't see in terms of their blind spots. And you just want to shake them and say, if you could just flip this one switch, you know, and it will totally change the outlook and then totally change your results. Well, I,

00:42:04

Jeff Forester

I know Jeff from your story, it's a good point because I know you, you read a ton of books, you listen to a ton of podcasts. So, you know, you're a, you're a student you're, you're always willing to learn. And, and, and I love that about you. And then you're applying the biblical principles to your things as well. So where do those two things cross? When you talk about someone's pet, when you talk about specifically potential, cause let's say someone out there right now is listening to this and they're like, you know what? I just feel like, I just feel like I'm nowhere close to reaching my potential. And I feel like God made me for so much more than this.

00:42:37

Jeff Forester

And so what would your recommendation be between, I guess what you would call learning from God and biblical principles and then, you know, books, secular books, cause you know, a lot of value and in a podcast and things like that. Tell us your secret. So start small. That's the easiest thing is just small, small, incremental steps each day. So I'll go back and I don't know if you guys remember, I can't remember the episode, but you were talking about how you guys started to pray together and you started to pray over your wife.

00:43:10

Jeff Forester

Well, that flipped a switch for me, cause I'd never done that because it's weird. And you even talked about it. That feels kind of weird at first, so awkward, but it's such a beautiful thing to do. And so I thought, okay, I'm going to do this. I want to pray with Tammy, for Tammy in front of Tammy every night. So I wrote down on a post it note that I'm going to pray every night with her for three weeks. And I thought, okay, if I could just do it for three weeks, then we'll just, we'll, we'll get this thing going.

00:43:43

Jeff Forester

And so I just told her, and it was weird. I'm telling you, it just felt so uncomfortable the first time, but I thought, you know what? I can, I can get through this. This is something I needed to do. I wanted to do. Cause I listened. And, and then I applied what you had shared. And I did it. And to this day, I don't know, well over a year later when she goes to bed the same time I do, she's a night owl. I'm not, but we pray together and we pray together a bit and it's an amazing thing. And so for me, I know it doesn't directly answer what, what you were saying is, is fine little things, regardless of if it's from a scripture, if it's from a secular book and just start somewhere, it's just little incremental steps lead to massive gains.

00:44:28

Jeff Forester

And it's just that compound effect that just time we'll go. And, and really to me, I validate whatever I read in a secular book with what I know in the Bible. And when you look at, and I know we talked about this once before, one of the chapters in the book is about setting a plan. When you look at the Bible, it is the ultimate plan from beginning to end because you have what you want to accomplish. It's a goal that is far reaching that none of us could ever accomplish on our own, but it's a wonderful goal to have.

00:45:03

Jeff Forester

But then through it, you know, the Bible and God was so great and how he explained the strategy of how he wants to get us to heaven. And then the tactics that are required, not the works, but the tactics that it takes. And the simple tactic that Jesus talks about is love one another. And that's, that's, it's so simple, but it's so difficult. And so then from there, I just try to figure out how do I love one another as Christ love the church. And as he loves me, what are the things that I need to do to fulfill that, that, that promise and that, that, that tactic that he wants me to follow.

00:45:43

Jeff Forester

And so you can get all that stuff from secular books, from Christian books, from podcasts, from movies, Kevin Hart's book. I mean things, places that you couldn't even imagine. And the biggest thing, and I know you guys are big on this too, is your kids will teach you so much stuff. If you let up, there's no filter, it's raw. It comes raw and it's, it's unbelievable. So I try to pull everything together. And then the ultimate thing is back to what you said is, is that I just try to apply it.

00:46:14

Jeff Forester

I try to find something that I can apply and be repetitious about. And that's the beauty of it because angelic, we know we've talked about this, right? I mean, everyone's looking for the big aha stuff for the big aha stuff. Is there the instructions there? There's no shortage of instruction. Where's the shortage. The shortage comes with people simply applying it. Hey, I got a notebook full of all these great notes and all these things. How to change my life around. Yeah.

00:46:38

3

What are you doing? Ah, it's just the notebook. Is there? How long has the notebook been there? How many

00:46:46

Jeff Forester

To be taken on the same subject? How many conferences, how many seminars have you been that are self development that you've taken similar notes by a similar speech because you know, that's where you need to work at and guess what? They don't do themselves. And something simple. Take the smallest part. Might the smallest part.

00:47:05

3

I was reading something today. It was oddly on like an Instagram story. I don't even know exactly where it came from, but it says doctors won't make you healthy nutritionists. Won't make you slim teachers. Won't make you smart. Gewirz won't make you calm mentors. Won't make you rich trainers. Won't make you fit. At the end of the day, you have to take responsibility. It just, you can learn all day. I mean, you can learn, learn, learn, and learn until you're blue in the face. But if you're not applying it, like I always say, it's like inspirational entertainment.

00:47:37

3

We just, we just go. We just code it for the entertainment. And we feel good at the moment. You know, like you said earlier, it's like, it's all feels good. Great,

00:47:46

Jeff Forester

David, you said it as well is that you can have all the book smarts, but it's the street smarts. There's so many professors that are in our universities that haven't worked in the real world for 25 years or managers and companies that are making decisions for people that haven't done the everyday stuff in 25 years. But then they expect you to listen to them. They're like, what? But you haven't, you're not out there every day. And so politicians that have gone straight from college right into being a page in Congress.

00:48:17

Jeff Forester

And next thing you know, they're, they're running a whole city and they're talking about how to run the business, everything, and they don't have any real world experience payroll. They're what I call like a leg member in college where they had the frats. And they're like a legacy pick. You just, you just got in. Cause your brother got in. That's what I feel like is happening right now. I feel like we need to get some people that are running this country who actually have real world experience. And they've experienced highs and lows, ups and downs. Maybe somebody who's, I don't know somebody who ran a toy store when they had no, but you know, it's funny.

00:48:50

Jeff Forester

So when you look at the corporate world and you look, I think at anything as people, so me coming from a sales background, the frontline sales person gets the most attention and the most training. It's you know, how many, how many selling models have we all gone through? How much coaching have we had, then somebody gets promoted to manager. So then now they're instructed to train these other people, but then their training tends to get less. They don't really learn how to lead people. Coach people manage people. Then that person gets managed and promoted.

00:49:22

Jeff Forester

Again. Now they're so busy. And then whoever their direct manager is, is too busy. So they don't get any self-development or any kind of development whatsoever. So it's like the more important your position is the least prepared that you're making yourself every day. So regardless of your title, I feel like people should and they need to learn whether a company takes responsibility and making sure that, Hey, I'm going to teach you or you have to take your own responsibilities. I'm going to learn because I need to constantly better.

00:49:55

Jeff Forester

There's a great story about, I think it was exemplary that he was in his eighties and he's on the front. He was, I think he was speaking with John Maxwell. John Maxwell got up and he looks down at Zig, Ziglar's got a notebook, open, take a notes. And he was saying, well, I never stopped learning. You know, here's a guy that's like the guru of self development and positivity. And he's still writing stuff down because you never, you never get to that end. And, and John Maxwell, I know you're a big fan of him as well. He said something on a video I saw the other day.

00:50:27

Jeff Forester

He doesn't say, I learned, this is what to do. He said, I'm learning. This is what to do. Cause he said, if you learn, that means you've, you've reached that moment. You've got it figured out. He's like, but you're learning. You don't have it figured out. Nobody has it figured out. And I love that. And so you said this earlier, Angelique is thinking about the words that come out of your mouth is I'm very intentional about what I try to say when I'm talking to other people. So I've really focused hard over the last couple of months of not saying I've learned it's I'm learning or what I'm learning is these four things in this book have helped me and they can help other people and it, but I don't have it all figured out.

00:51:09

David Norrie

And that's really what potential is all about continuing to learn. So what we're going to, we're going to wrap this up here. What is your favorite, you know, we talked about biblical principles that you could find kind of in your book or that you, that you go by in business. Is there a particular story of scripture that you really,

00:51:25

Jeff Forester

That resonates with you in terms of your book and business? Yes,

00:51:32

David Norrie

I think that's, I think that's a big part of, of what we're looking to do these days, certainly with turned on and I know with unleash potential is, Hey, you know what church? Isn't just on Sundays. You know, because we know work is work is bled into nights and weekends because of technology and church does, is it on Sunday? So how what's, how do we find that sweet spot? What's your

00:51:52

Jeff Forester

Scripture for me? And I know I've shared this with other people. It's it's Philippians two, three, and four. It says do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourselves. But each of us look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others. And I just feel like in business, if we just constantly think of who we're serving and we're trying to add value to them, everything else will take care of itself.

00:52:19

David Norrie

Yeah. I mean, that is, that is what we're back in the day. That is one to grow. I remember the Saturday morning cartoons, a little rainbow thing, one to grow and that's one to grow on. So we're going to stop it there because,

00:52:32

Jeff Forester

Because I love it. That's, that's a, that's kind of like an exclamation point. But before we go, we want to ask

00:52:37

David Norrie

People the book. I know you can get it on Amazon.

00:52:41

Jeff Forester

I want to get, you can get it. You can preorder it anywhere. That's out there. I'm not sure when this is going to come out, but it's supposed to hit August 1st. So Amazon Barnes and noble, I heard it's on target. The ebook is available now. So if anybody wanted that, they can get that. And then if anybody wanted a signed copy, they can reach out to you guys or they can find me on Instagram and then I can, I'm making a list and then I can send them a, a signed copy as well.

00:53:07

David Norrie

All right, let me get your Instagram, your Instagram handle.

00:53:11

Jeff Forester

It's at Jeff, the number four, Esther, Jeff Forrester.

00:53:19

David Norrie

Well, Jeff, it's been a pleasure Anch you to, yeah, we're just super grateful. Not only have

00:53:26

3

This opportunity to chat with you because we consider you a dear friend, but to bless the lives of people that are listing and to hear all the emotions and all the stories and all the applicable pieces that can help them continue to learn

00:53:41

Jeff Forester

Because you're, you're really epitomized turned on because it unleashed potential. You know, we talked about faith, we talked about your family and what it means to have a strong marriage. And, and certainly the relationship you had with your father and taking over the business part, which led into that and then your body. So we really hit on all the four hallways that we normally would. And I think that's why that's why I think unleashed potential, such a fantastic read for people because life doesn't just exist in, in one vacuum.

00:54:12

Jeff Forester

You're not just a business man. You're not just a father. So when we can put all these things together and we can really reach our highest potential in all four hallways, that's when you're going to have a good life. And at the end of it, you're going to be like, I did a good job. Amen.

00:54:27

3

Well done. Faithful servant. Okay. We hope this turned you on listener and we thank you, Jeff, for doing the same for us.

00:54:36

Jeff Forester

Anytime. Anytime. Appreciate y'all.