The Turkeys are Arriving Early this Presidential Season

The Turkeys are Arriving Early this Presidential Season: 
on Thursday Evening, July 6, 2015. 
Time to See, Hear and Name the GOP Turkeys and Dwarfs

Snow White was lucky. She only had seven dwarfs and all were charming. Thursday’s first staged “Debate” between and among 10 of the putative 2016 GOP presidential  nominees will feature Donald Trump and a cast of nine other turkeys . . . The GOP is still waiting, perhaps praying, for an Eagle to show.

Here’s an early crack, based on their appearances up until today, of the current cast of mentionable (from the New York Times 8/4/15, p. A4) Republican turkeys and dwarfs, with some leftovers (with apologies to the 14 Wikipedia listed productions of the Snow White story on stage and film) for last minute entrants (and an Eagle?):

1. Bashful - Bobby Jindal
2. Blooper - Mike Huckabee
3. Bluster - Donald Trump
4. Bumbler - Marco Rubio
5. Bungler - Rick Perry
6. Chunky - Chris Christie
7. Who – Ben Carson
8. Dreamy - George Pataki
9. Eagle - Vacant
10. Goofy - Rand Paul
11. Nasty - Lindsay Graham
12. Prickly - Carly Fiorina
13. Shallow - Rick Santorum
14. Sloppy - Scott Walker
15. Sleepy - Jeb Bush
16. Smarty - John Kasich
17. Snotty - Ted Cruz

There are character spots still available for more last-in GOP cast candidates -- or perhaps supplemental or replacement titles for the survivors as their contests proceed. Select your character/candidate and let us know when and how their monikers change during the campaign:

• Blunder
• Buzzard
• Chuckles
• Dopey
• Fumbler
• Giddy
• Grackle
• Grouchy
• Grumpy
• Happy
• Heckler
• Klutzy
• Lazy
• Moon Beam
• Mumbler
• Puffer
• Sneezy
• Spanky
• Stealthy
• Stumbler

The fact is no matter how many turkeys you stuff into a television studio, it is extremely unlikely that an Eagle will ever fly out of there. The hope is that there’s still time for an Eagle to show up and enter the race . . . Anybody come to mind? Still time for a draft.