The Turkey Effect...Gratitude or Gluttony

It’s a funny holiday, Thanksgiving. We gather with the family we were born to or the family we choose..and then we give thanks and proceed to eat ourselves silly until we virtually pass out in a food coma.

This holiday we flew the nest ourselves to the other side of the world.? Why not?! We thought to gain some perspective instead of sitting in the empty house missing the munchkins who were not at home.

We stroll around looking at temples and beautiful turning leaves and of course, guitar stores. The temples have stood the test of time even more than the 70’s rock music that blares from every speaker, and I wonder at how they were made with no power tools.?

The mindful contemplation of zen rock gardens turns my mind to more esoteric matters.

I am reminded of a seminar I attended years ago at the Aspen Institute.? The topic was “The Butterfly Effect”. This is a theory of how the world is deeply interconnected and how one small occurrence can and does affect a much larger and more complex system such as the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world.

I’m not sure I buy the butterfly/tropical storm interconnect, but I do believe gratitude and gluttony are both interconnected and contagious. Let’s call it The Turkey Effect. Get it...Thanksgiving...turkey...

It is my experience that when my team feels appreciated and able to express their authentic selves, not only do they do a better job, but they go home filled and encouraged which translates to gratitude that is shared with friends, neighbors, and family. Those friends and family are met with smiles which then increases their capacity and then they turn to their friends filled with gratitude, and so forth and so on.?It is great stuff.

In contrast when someone at work is demeaned, manipulated or not acknowledged for a job well done, they carry that home too. In some cases it can lead to acts of unkindness to others as a powerless person tries to regain some sense of self.

There is untold damage that can be passed on and on. This gluttony hurts the corporate foundation and can cause damage to the microcosm of the communities each member of your team belongs to. When this happens they are not content as individuals and they don’t contribute as effectively back to the team. It hurts the business.

Some companies work at being grateful and others are full of gluttony, taking only for themselves. This can be a share of the profits, equity, or something as simple as acknowledgement and praise for a job well done.

I remember the memories made as a team on our annual cruise to express our appreciation. This was a trip for every employee and their spouse (or friend).

This time together during the work week but away from the day-to-day built a culture of gratitude and an intense investment in our success by each employee and by their family members. It was crazy how those spouses wanted that next cruise to happen. "Sure, stay late honey! No problem, are we meeting the quarterly targets? No? Then get on it!"

I was able to do amazing things with a modest sized team because of the incredible individual contributions and I believe it was because they felt our gratitude. Of course you have to reinvest in the business and yes shareholders can and should receive dividends for the investment to make it all happen, but at the end of the day it is about balance.

This balance of gluttony and gratitude also transcends the employeer/employee relationship.? It is also true of the vendor/customer relationship. Win/win is real and can be achieved.

I remember many times being forced into a deal that was one-sided by one of the largest hospitality companies in the world. I remember another company blatantly steal intellectual property and basically sticking their tongue out at me when I asked them politely to stop. Turns out the hospitality industry can be not so hospitable. I have been shocked speechless reading press releases taking credit for my team’s hard work without any acknowledgement that we were the ones who both had the idea first and made the technology work. These are examples of gluttony against vendors and it didn’t feel good.

Those moments of being on the receiving end of gluttony made it hard to come home and be a great mom or sister. My microcosm of the world was negatively affected by these one-sided deals.

We were lucky to survive the gluttonous customers which was the polar opposite of the grateful customers who gave us energy and fuel for growth. The grateful companies earned our hardest work and we went the extra mile for them because we were seen and we were appreciated.

As a company leader I choose a few simple things to show my gratitude. Here are some easy to follow examples: pay your vendors and your company expenses on time without fail, pay your team fairly and leave room to share the profits with them on a quarterly and annual basis, share with transparency the goals of the business so your team and extended team can help you achieve those goals, negotiate fair deals with your vendors. BE GRATEFUL.

Gratitude seems obvious, but it takes time and effort not only to feel it, but to share. It is being appreciative of time, effort, and contributions and making sure other people know this so they can receive your gratitude.

I remember a particular moment of unexpected gratitude that brought tears to my eyes. In 2020, as a hospitality technology company, we had to make some awful decisions and put people on temporary unpaid leave while we tried to turn the company around to survive.

I received a thank you note from two separate employees who were both put on leave. One thanked me for making hard decisions and for sharing the news with compassion, the other thanked me for the work that I and the rest of the team were doing to bring them all back to work as soon as possible. Don’t you know how much harder I worked after receiving those heartfelt notes? Gratitude matters. Gluttony costs. Each one of us gets to choose at work how we present ourselves. As business leaders we set the tone for the entire company and the communities who are either drained by or fed by us. Which will it be for you?

I wish each and every one of you a Thanksgiving Holiday filled with gratitude. May your turkey be tasty, may your sports teams win, may your music be foot tapping and may your family be safely together in healthy mind, body, and spirit.

I would love to hear your stories of Gratitude or Gluttony as we think about the Turkey effect. Please share in comments below. I appreciate you reading Unplugged, if you enjoy it please share with your network. Follow me here on Linkedin or subscribe (above) to hear more.

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