Turbulence — Magical connections can change people's lives!

This newsletter pays tribute to the unbelievable devastation of Hurricane Fiona to Atlantic Canada.?

Last month, on a very turbulent flight home from Halifax, I was fearful, but fate connected me with my seatmate. I calmed us down just using my palm gestures, without words. It also triggered my fear of flying, which I thought was a thing of the past.?

Fifteen years ago, my fear of flying was intense. There would often be violent turbulence in the middle of the northern Pacific Ocean en route to visit my mom in Hong Kong. I started holding on to everything I could. I hugged myself by crossing my elbows together. I ground my teeth and had the most intense panic attacks.?

These attacks were exhausting but luckily only happened during mid-flight. Later, I stumbled upon a book to help me to understand my fear of flying. I learned about flight safety and used an over-the-ear headset and music to help me relax. I also learned about using empathy with the pilots and flight crews and thought of their families. Over time, flying became less stressful.?

Last month, when I vacationed at a seaside cottage in Cape Breton, the heavy 70-90 km/h wind gust and downpour reminded me of the flight turbulence. The wood-framed house rattled, and my bed moved throughout the night. So, just as I dealt with turbulence, I decided to put on my noise-cancellation AirPod, and I slept so well my sleep doctor would have been proud of me!

Little did I know that this was just a practice run for heavier gusts!

At the Halifax airport, I chatted with a lady named Pat. I noticed she was nervous, and she confided in me about her anxiety around air travel, and said she didn't sleep well the night before a flight. I held space for her and told her it was okay to feel nervous and that I thought it sucked too!

Coincidentally Pat and I were sitting together and after closing the door, the plane sat by the gate for two hours.

The pilot said the Toronto airport runway was closed due to the thunderstorm. Passengers grew impatient, and I doodled on my iPad to remain calm. The pilots were great at keeping us informed. But finally, the runway reopened, and we refuelled and took off.?

Within 15 minutes, my spidey senses kicked in and I knew turbulence was coming as we approached Québec. I grew more anxious (and so did Pat) despite listening to the music, deep breathing, and keeping myself busy.

I looked out of the window; the weather didn't look happy. I could feel Pat's energy as well. I asked myself, what if I could teach Pat some relaxation responses? Then of course I second-guessed myself and wondered what if I made her more anxious or she didn't want my help??

Another 15 minutes went by, and the crew began the meal service. I could hear in Pat's voice that she was anxious and scared. I was worried about the safety of the flight attendant too as the plane got into tense turbulence.?

Masked and wearing a headset for entertainment/distraction and the plane shaking, I decided to write on my iPad…

Pat nodded.?

I remember Dr. Lynn teaching me the power of diaphragmatic breathing. So I said aloud, let's breathe in 4, 3, 2, 1, then breathe out 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... and I repeated, as the turbulence continued.

Talking and breathing became hard for me because I was also scared. I put down my Apple Pencil and started using both palms to guide us.

Palm up; I move up both my palms, 1, 2, 3, 4 (to mid-air)

Then I turned my palm down, 1, 2, .... 7 to return to my legs. I must have done this 6 or 7 times.?

I kept glancing over to make sure Pat was fine. She had closed her eyes and followed through, and I could sense that our synchronization of breath calmed her down. To my surprise, her husband sitting by the window, also started moving his palms.

The serendipity surprised me. Using my palm gestures, I showcased my brand without words in the middle of Québec air space. The three of us stayed connected, and we continued our relaxation response together. [We discussed my brand of charisma.]

I slowed down my breathing. Then I raised my thumb, asking if Pat was fine. She nodded her head and expressed her gratitude.?

We waited for another 15 minutes, but we did it again as the turbulence increased.?

It's magical when we stay in the present and accept everything in front of us. We were all scared, but the connection brought us together.?

Pat expressed her gratitude that my deep breathing exercises worked! She will share this with her son, the yoga instructor ??.

Learning: Turning fear into leadership development.

1. Leadership does not need words—Quiet Leadership
2. The courageous side of me can happen even especially when I'm terrified—the difference is that I turn this into learning rather than judgment.
3. With fierce courage, I can change people's lives!
4. I leaned into my fear and turned it into growth and helping others.?The turbulence was a nudge that change could be a lasting change. And I flew again on Monday to see my mom.

How about you? What’s your experience with turbulent flying? What is it like to turn your fear into growth for yourself and others??

Who's?Elliot Ng? I am a digital executive and Certified Professional Co-Active Coach focusing on transforming careers. My vision is to build many bridges to connect us all in our leadership transformation journey.?

I also practice customer centricity and customer success to grow customers & base revenue. My professional background helps me decipher between signals and potentials when others see noise and chaos —whether in disorganized operations or poorly functioning teams. More info at?MTHCoach.com.

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#leadership?

#leadershipdevelopment

#personaldevelopment?

#management

#connections?

#coaching?

#empathy

#storytelling