??Tuesday Thoughts??| 5 July 2022 | I Respectfully Disagree

One of my favourite sayings is that “Small Minds Discuss People, Average Minds Discuss Events, Great Minds Discuss Ideas”; I’m starting to think we need a bit of a refresh “Small Minds Insult People, Average Minds Critique Events, Great Minds Challenge Ideas”.

Last week I saw a truly shocking post on LinkedIn (I’m not going to give it any airtime by linking to it), an individual who I generally respect spewing insults about the people behind a policy position, instead of pointing out the (many) flaws in the logic that those people were using to support their position.

Somewhere along the way, we lost perspective, and now we’re all running so hot, that EVERY disagreement seems to become a polarized debate, where we dig in our heels, turn off our ears, and just keep shouting over each other into the void. And, to be 100% transparent, I’m guilty of this too at times.

We need to rediscover the difference between discomfort – which can often be a good thing – and trauma – which is never a good thing. Because my discomfort should never, ever, ever, be addressed at the cost of your safety, be it emotional or physical. Its important here to note that disrespect and discomfort are not the same thing, I need to respect your physical space, I need to respect your emotional needs, I need to respect you as a Human Being, because a failure to do so, can cause real harm.

I’ve been thinking about this since I had the opportunity to attend the Human Connection Conference hosted by my friend Stuart Knight a few weeks ago. Something I noticed that weekend was how much more openminded I am when listening to a divergent viewpoint from someone who is the same physical space as I am, especially if that person is essentially a stranger.

As we all stayed safe at home ??, at a time when there was already a lot to be divided about – like if we should even be at home, instead of “keeping the economy open” – our echo chambers got smaller and smaller. We met – much less formed relationships with – fewer and fewer new people. And, I think its meant that more and more people became “the other” in whatever internal story lines our brains were running.

Its not easy, there are some people and some opinions I simply do not have time for, but on balance, I have been really trying to practice an empathy first approach, that gives people the benefit of the doubt. I will however, have very little patience, if something you are doing or saying is pointed out to you as hurtful or hateful and you just keep doing it.

At the same time, I have to practice what I preach, just because my “fans” online think something I said makes perfect sense, doesn’t mean I’m not obligated to at least consider the dissenting opinion, especially when it comes from a voice raised in defense of an intersectionality that I don’t personally have lived experience with.

I recognize that I have the privilege to take certain risks with my health that not everyone has, either because of their own health, the health of a loved one, or a child who is too young to enjoy the protections of the vax, so please apply your own risk tolerance to what I am about to say next, and do what you need to do to take care of yourselves and your families.

My Call to Action This Week is Twofold: First, get out there, meet people again, sit in discomfort and have the big, hairy, challenging conversations about ideas??; social discourse in this country is broken, and we can do our part to put it back together one conversation at a time. If you are offended by something, say something, stand up for each other, but do not immediately ascribe motivation and meaning to everyone all of the time, that way madness lies – seek to inform not to shame where possible (yes I know, some people are simply all too happy to live in ignorant bliss, this isn’t an exact science).

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New and Noteworthy?is a collection of things readers of #TuesdayThoughts might find interesting, important, or informative;

??Other Stuff I Did This Week (shameless self promotion):?It was announced that I'm speaking at the CSAE National Conference this October in Halifax - Register Today to REUNITE with me in Halifax | I donated a piece of #originalart to the Silent Auction at Summer Summit #CSAESummerSummit22 in support of Feed Ontario - don't forget to check it out and bid (pictured below, 20"x24" Acrylic on Canvas, Artist Signed original est. value $200) | I announced the working title of my first book “How to Make a Difference: A Handbook for Making the Most Impact with Your Time, Talents and Money” - which I'll be working on during #NaNoWriMo in November

??What to Read: The What, How and Why of Cultural Intelligence in Psychology Today h/t Daina Hodgson (also check out Daina's photography, I remain obsessed with one of this photos that I purchased years ago) | The Cost of Kindness (pg22), Janice Cardinale in United Colours of Design Magazine

??What to Watch: The First Video on my new YouTube Channel - One Woman Island (Help me get to 100 Subscribers so I can claim my custom URL) | Emma Wakelin's Speech at the Toronto Trans Pride Rally about the importance of representation and inclusion

????What to Do: Sign Up to Win a Summer Power Pack from Ignite Magazine and the Canadian Meetings + Events Expo (planners only) | Donate an item for the #CSAESummerSummit22 Silent Auction h/t Kris Knox | Take Cher Jones' Poll on LinkedIn Etiquette | Register for the Scotiabank Women Initiative Masterclass in partnership with TA Speakers Management and the unstoppable Tami Adams | Take Allison Graham's Poll on Fighting with others in the comments section of LinkedIn

????♀?Cool Jobs (Paid and Volunteer): Director, Learning Innovation and Engagement @ Volunteer Canada | Various Positions @ 2025 Jeux du Canada Games | Food Tour Guides @ Culinary Everywhere! | Operations & Administration Coordinator @ Base Consulting | Corporate Photographer @ Air Canada | Board Members @ the Canadian Society of Decorative Arts

??Take Note: CSAE Young Professionals Network - Virtual Panel, 21 July - Imposter Syndrome - Register | Empowered Equity Diversity & Inclusion Consulting FREE #officehours on July 7, 8 and 12 | Destination Markham Corporate Strategic Master Plan RFP

??I am a Certified Association Executive with nearly over a dozen years of experience in leadership positions in Canada's Not-for-Profit Sector; as a College Professor, occasional Speaker, and contributor to blogs, newsletters, and media, I am skilled at using the art of storytelling to explain my ideas and inform audiences and readers on a variety of topics.

??♀?I am also a Certified Organizational Specialist and Practical Minimalist, who happens to have an unhealthy love for Excel Spreadsheets. I don't do this work often, but I am always happy to give a bit of advice if you are struggling.

??Did you know I also paint and draw? I am passionate about the benefits of Adult Colouring, and can create custom colouring sheets for speech and workshop audiences, by request.

Not-for-Profit Consulting Services?(pdf) | Check Out my website?daniellerussell.ca

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LinkedIn?Danielle S. Russell, CAE (she/her)?| Instagram ???@danielle.s.russell?| Twitter?@dani__russell?|?YouTube???One Woman Island