Tuesday Thoughts | 25 April 2023 | Something To Say

I was in high school when I first encountered a quote attributed to Plato that has in many ways shaped how I show up, “Wise (Wo)Men Talk Because They Have Something to Say, Fools Talk Because They Have to Say Something.”

This approach also plays well with my inner introvert who has very little interest most days in small talk, so it is likely not only a self-serving position to have taken, but also a somewhat inevitable one.

A reasonable degree of self reflection also tells me that it is this predisposition that drives me to write a weekly newsletter * based on thoughts and ideas, and to have written so many words in this vein in 2022 that I had enough to turn it into a book **.

Even in very casual conversations I will find myself getting annoyed with pointless prattle, and I assure you that my annoyance with myself when I hear my own voice saying useless things is far more voracious than any irritation I might feel for others.

I like smart people, and as I get older I become more and more intentional about pulling people with something to say into my inner circle, and avoiding those who don’t – I recently explored this idea in much more depth in the March 28, 2023 issue of #TuesdayThoughts entitled The Company You Keep ***.

To be clear, I have my moments when I open with “this is some weather we’re having”, I am Canadian after all; and I probably won’t judge you if you do the same. But, if you just can’t or won’t go deeper, then I will be hoping the conversation doesn’t last very long.

One of the quirks of my particular personality is that it often means that in a group – particularly in a meeting – if I am not chairing or hosting, I might not say very much; in fact I am actively working on being quicker to speak, particularly when I don’t have any strong feelings about the topic at hand, or when I might otherwise default to wanting to hear the smart things everyone else in the room has to say.

Note: this is one of those times where I will become immediately and acutely annoyed by anyone who is speaking without something smart to say. I stop short however, of expressing my displeasure in the manner that my Great-Grandfather, Earle Maynier was (allegedly) fond of, which was that he would simply go to sleep in his chair if he became bored with the lack of intellectual flair in a conversation.

Something I noticed a few months ago, was that when I start speaking first, especially without needing to do so intentionally and with effort, it is often because I have very strong feelings about the topic at hand – in effect when I do have something to say.

But, being so used to being the person who does not speak first, I find myself faced with immediate Imposter Syndrome as my inner hall monitor asks “do you really have something to say?”, “what if you’re so busy talking that you miss the even smarter thing that the person next to you wants to say?”.

Last Winter/Spring I had the incredible opportunity to teach Organizational Behaviour at Seneca College to about 100 students over two semesters; it was an important reminder that Diverse voices, and Diverse teams make better decisions than homogeneous ones.

In some ways this is the argument for always speaking up when you have something to say (particularly when you might believe yourself to be the dissenting opinion), but on the other side of the coin, is that you need not restate your opinion if you might be taking time away from someone who might be waiting to articulate the idea you yourself would never think of.

One of the questions I frequently ask myself is about the value – or not – that Tuesday Thoughts brings to the reader; its all well and dandy that I have something to say each week, but does anyone actually need to hear (read) it?

Its funny, when I went to put the #TuesdayThoughtsBook into a category – as required by the Amazon KDP platform I chose for self-publishing – I cringed at the idea of putting my baby in the “Self Help” section. There is value in Self Help to be sure, but I would love to think of this work as more than that (because deep down I am an intellectual snob, but we already knew that right?).

Then a few weeks ago I was watching a video on Mark Manson’s YouTube Channel – “Why Your Favorite Self-Help Book Sucks ”, I am decidedly NOT a FAN of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, so I was immediately drawn to a thumbnail of a copy of the book in question being lit on fire.

One of my long standing criticisms of TSAoNGaF was that it reminded me of all of the things that I didn’t like about Buddhism – the Religion that I would likely choose for myself, should I ever again feel compelled to subscribe to organized religion – which was that the level of acceptance doesn’t fit well with my action oriented personality.

I may not love his book, but something Manson said really stuck with me, “What was self-help called before it was self-help?’, the answer “Religion, Philosophy”. He goes on to say “Most of the advice that we’re all consuming when we buy these books, whether its on how to be more compassionate, less anxious, more humble and grounded, more productive, more honest, and vulnerable. These things have been covered for thousands of years, from Buddha and Jesus, to Plato and Seneca, to Adam Smith and Benjamin Franklin, to Nietzsche and Freud, pretty much nothing you find on a self-help shelf is new. And that’s fine, because what does change and what does matter is the packaging… packaging as it turns out is incredible important, that’s because humans are weird with advice.”

It was with this changed framework of defining “something to say”, not just as an original thought, but as an original spin on an old thought – much in the same way Hollywood re-tells the same seven stories to us over and over again in new and exciting combinations – that I approached spending a few hours yesterday listening to Matthew McConaughey and his guests speak about The Art of Livin ’ an event that was spun off of his successful book Green Lights (which I am absolutely going to read – eventually).

Something Dean Graziosi said again flipped my thinking on when we are called to SAY SOMETHING, he said (and I’m likely paraphrasing because my notes are rarely transcriptional) “sharing or even selling our ideas is a service, when to not do so is the disservice of not giving that which might change someone else’s life”; we are obligated to speak when we have something to say.

To recap a bit, perhaps even just for the sake of the writer – regardless of how unoriginal the underlying message, you can have something to say that adds a unique viewpoint or flavour to a discussion; the success of self help tells us that your unique perspective might be exactly what the listener (or reader) needs to finally understand the idea you are communicating, and the diversity of the voices we bring to the table increase the likelihood that our message will be heard and understood and provide value; as a result we are obligated to speak when we have something to say, no matter how much self doubt might creep in.

There is another element of this that should not be missed, and that is the idea of permission; permission to speak your truth, permission to take an unpopular action, permission to try something in an unconventional way. This permission can of course be dangerous, as the rise of Jordan Peterson is evidence of; but it can also be liberating when it provides someone with their “you are not alone” moment of the day.

The Call to Action This Week: is to know when you have something to say (as opposed to just a need to say something), and then to bravely say what you have to say, knowing deeply that you might be the one who changes the world for someone else by helping them understand, or giving them permission to act.

For my part, I will keep speaking – including my upcoming appearance at the EVENT ****, where I will be bringing my #TuesdayThoughts story telling method to the stage to help attendees tell compelling stories of their aha moments from the conference in their own unique voice, to inspire the actions that will amplify the impact of their having attended the EVENT.

And, I will keep writing. One of the big reasons I decided to write a book (I guess now at least two – since I’ve been working on the next one since mid-2022); was as the result of reading an essay titled: The Dangers of Courage Culture and Why Brene Brown Isn’t For Black Folk by Dr. Carey Yazeed ; and on or around the same time, seeing a post mentioning that so many of “our” favourite non-fiction books are written by men; I resolved to become part of the solution of putting more books by Women of Colour***** out into the world. Not because we only get value from hearing the stories of people who look like us (we don’t by-the-by, remember what I already said about diversity), but because you never know when your unique perspective might bring value to anyone regardless of their intersectionalities.

Also, because yesterday because I reminded by Tony Robbins to take immediate action, I am finally – doing it, not just talking about it – giving up on the Brene Brown book I’m never going to finish. If anyone in my circles (where I could drop it off and not pay to ship it) would like a half read, and practically new copy of dare to lead – speak now before I drop it in my blue bin.

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*Do you get value from The Tuesday Thoughts Newsletter ? Please consider liking, subscribing, commenting, and sharing the issues that speak most deeply to you. I’m on a mission to “Change the World, By Inspiring Actions That Amplify My Impact” and I need the help of you dear reader, and our collective community to keep making progress on that (admittedly) lofty goal.*

**Did you know that the #TuesdayThoughtsBook – The Tuesday Thoughts Companion, A Year of Small Actions for Big Impact is more than just a reprint of the 2022 editions of Tuesday Thoughts? I added in prompt questions, workbook style sections, and monthly reflections to help you take real actions and inspire real impact.**

***Sometimes what you see on the screen or the page inspires IRL connections, I probably cannot overstate how excited I am for a long overdue sushi date this week with Nat Wallace and Rebecca Harris, M.A., CAE ; when I invite you into the conversation that’s a real invitation, please do comment, reach out via private message or connect to plan an in-person meeting. I love discussing big ideas over good food and/or good coffee.***

****There is a method to my madness in creating each issue of Tuesday Thoughts, on November 22, 2022 I pulled back the curtain in NaNoWriMo themed issue titled Fighting Writers’ Block ; and people had questions. Now as a Pre-Keynote – the EVENT Recap , I’ll be cocreating powerful stories in Real Time, I hope you’ll register for the EVENT and join me on May 13, 2023.****

*****For now, I’m also buying, and keeping, and reading, and referencing the books by Women of Colour that I come to meet; I am currently in varying stages of reading – The Change You Want: Change Your Mindset and Change Your Life authored by my Chartered Director co-hort-mate – Yvonne Ruke Akpoveta , and Build Trust @ Work, Stop Doing Work You Dislike With People You Don’t Trust authored by Dionne England who also attended Stuart Knight - Human Connection Expert ’s 2022 Human Connection Conference . ?

New and Noteworthy is a collection of things readers of??#TuesdayThoughts ?might find interesting, important, or informative;

??Other Stuff I Did This Week (shameless self promotion): Honoured to be included in the CSAE #NationalVolunteerWeek video on the theme of Volunteering Weaves The Association Sector Together check out the smart things my Board colleagues - Bryan Woo , Jamie Ryan, Jean-Francois Champagne, CAE , France Daviault, MA, CAE , Dan García , Heather Terrence, CAE (she/her) , and Patrick Gauch, MBA, LLM, ICD.D, GPC.D , had to say about the value of volunteering

?? What to Read:?Where Are All the Men? from Bloom Blog | Laurier stops the presses: The university has printed the final issue of its alumni magazine from University Affairs | Hustle Culture is a Dangerous Myth, or is it? an insightful post from Janice Cardinale VEMM | Why Professional Associations Aren’t Engaging Young Professionals from Highland Solutions h/t Deirdre Reid, CAE

?? What to Do:?CSAE New Member Orientation

????♀?Cool Jobs (Paid and Volunteer):?Event Planner (2-3 Months Contract) Redstone h/t Carly Silberstein, DES, CED, VEMM

??Take Note:?This Week is Tourism Week led by the Tourism Industry Association of Canada | Call for Facilitators for Toronto Change Days 2023 h/t Rich Batchelor

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LinkedIn?Danielle S. Russell, CAE (she/her) ?| Instagram?@danielle.s.russell ?| Twitter?@dani__russell ?|?YouTube???One Woman Island

??I am a Certified Association Executive with nearly over a dozen years of experience in leadership positions in Canada's Not-for-Profit Sector; as a College Professor, occasional Speaker, and contributor to blogs, newsletters, and media, I am skilled at using the art of storytelling to explain my ideas and inform audiences and readers on a variety of topics.

??♀?I am also a Certified Organizational Specialist and Practical Minimalist, who happens to have an unhealthy love for Excel Spreadsheets. I don't do this work often, but I am always happy to give a bit of advice if you are struggling.

??Did you know I also paint and draw? I am passionate about the benefits of Adult Colouring, and can create custom colouring sheets for speech and workshop audiences, by request.

Not-for-Profit Consulting Services ?(pdf) | Check Out my website daniellerussell.ca