Tuesday Thoughts | 18 October 2022 | Facing the Fear of Public Speaking

The 30 other people who were in the room when I gave my first “speech” in the 7th Grade never really let me forget how horrible I was… it was BAD, I mispronounced words, mumbled, lost my place SEVERAL times, and probably got in all my 10,000 steps making the audience dizzy watching me pace at the front of the room. In fact – since I’m connected to many of them here on LinkedIn and across social media – they are likely horrified at the thought that I now confidently call myself a public speaker.

That experience was deeply scarring, especially for someone who used to be painfully shy, with a (not so) healthy dose of low self-esteem. I did not want to EVER do that again. But much in the same way I overcame my fear of the water by becoming a really, really good swimmer*; a few years later, I seized the opportunity to join a Youth Toastmasters Group to build the skills and confidence to overcome one of my biggest fears.

Of course, back then – in Grade 11? – I was still painfully shy, and had to first overcome the anxiety of walking into a room full of strangers; I had joined on after responding to an ad from a group that had formed at a nearby high-school, I didn’t even know how to find the classroom in a school with a different room numbering methodology. If I knew then what I know now, I’d have known that the sort of nerdy, cerebral, teen-aged self-improvement junkies who frequent Youth Toastmasters were decidedly “my people” the whole process would have been much less of an exercise in teenaged angst.

In a lot of ways, practice makes perfect, but its also helpful to have a support system, a tried-and-true process to follow to learn those new skills, and some runway to play and experiment. Even now, when I find myself questioning my own level of competence, I seek first to see if there is a way I can teach myself (mostly through experimentation), then I look for more knowledgeable peers, and finally, I look to formal learning settings such as certifications, college, and university courses to fill in the gaps, and avoid building bad habits along the way.

For those of you reading this, desperately hoping I’ll give you some tips on HOW to overcome a fear of public speaking, I’ll echo again, that practice makes perfect (or at least proficient – perfection is an illusion). I’m working on a YouTube video following me through giving an upcoming speech, so I don’t want to drop too many spoilers, but here are a few specific tips;

• Learn your voice, write to your voice, speak with your voice. If you can’t pronounce a word, find a sentence to be “clunky” or are otherwise not 100% comfortable with the verbiage, structure and content of a talk – change it. The more natural you can be, the more you can improvise if something goes wrong, and the better, more authentic outcomes you’ll achieve.
• Find your physical comfort zone and stay there. When I first started giving speeches (even brief remarks) I had to force myself to stay anchored to the podium; even now I don’t move around a lot on stage unless I am facilitating an audience participation portion of a workshop or seminar. Your natural “speech” voice is probably a bit louder and more clear than your regular voice, but grand gestures, yelling or “over enunciating” are going to make you AND your audience less comfortable.
• Speak to what you know. There are a great many topics about which I know very little, these are not ideal topics for me to give a speech about, or lead a workshop in – although impromptu speeches are a great learning exercise. The broader work is of course to get to know yourself, your values, your perspectives, and your strengths. If you don’t know anything more about a topic than what’s in the speaking notes, similar to tip one, you just won’t be able to make the small wording choices or respond to the audience in a way that feels authentic.
• Collect ideas and think deeply about what might be your unique take on the issues of the day. I’m currently noodling around some new speech topics for 2023 – although I’m still excited to be talking about creating Introvert Friendly Experiences and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome – and part of that work is figuring out how my unique life experiences and perspectives can add something to the conversation on topics people care about in the here and now.

I’m still very much a work in progress, although those early experiences that pushed against my fears (swimming lessons and Toast Masters sessions), continue to give me the confidence that I can learn to do something even if it scares me.

My Call to Action This Week: is for everyone to find a thing that scares them, and then to make a plan to overcome the fear, through trial and error, with peer support, or through formal training.

If you are in Halifax this week for the 2022 CSAE Reunite Conference, I hope you’ll attend my session on October 20, 2022 at 11:15am (local) Quiet Down: Creating Experiences Introverts Won’t Dread ; virtual attendees will also have access to a pre-recorded version of the talk.

*I tell the full story of my ongoing relationship with the water in a recent YouTube video on my Channel The One Woman Island (please do the things – Like, Subscribe, Comment)*

New and Noteworthy?is a collection of things readers of?#TuesdayThoughts ?might find interesting, important, or informative;

This week I’m in Halifax for the CSAE Reunite Conference and am focusing on the here and now. New and Noteworthy will return next week in all its curated glory. We do have one item that I promised Janice Cardinale VEMM would be included.

????What to Do:?Sign Up for MPI/Event Minds Matter #braindate

??I am a Certified Association Executive with nearly over a dozen years of experience in leadership positions in Canada's Not-for-Profit Sector; as a College Professor, occasional Speaker, and contributor to blogs, newsletters, and media, I am skilled at using the art of storytelling to explain my ideas and inform audiences and readers on a variety of topics.

??♀?I am also a Certified Organizational Specialist and Practical Minimalist, who happens to have an unhealthy love for Excel Spreadsheets. I don't do this work often, but I am always happy to give a bit of advice if you are struggling.

??Did you know I also paint and draw? I am passionate about the benefits of Adult Colouring, and can create custom colouring sheets for speech and workshop audiences, by request.

Not-for-Profit Consulting Services ?(pdf) | Check Out my website?daniellerussell.ca

Join my community, where?I Connect People and Ideas. Use?#TuesdayThoughts ?to share this edition of the Newsletter with your networks.

LinkedIn?Danielle S. Russell, CAE (she/her) ?| Instagram ???@danielle.s.russell ?| Twitter?@dani_s_russell |?YouTube???One Woman Island