(TSE #06) - I Almost Died to Learn These 3 Lessons

There are some moments in life that are?etched in your memory. Unforgettable moments because they were funny, traumatic, shocking, surprising, inspiring, or downright weird.

But?what should we do when we have some monumental challenges put in our way by external forces?we have no control over??

Here’s a story that might give you some ideas.

The Jet Boat and the Mighty Zambesi River

Ever since I was a young kid, I had always wanted to go to Africa and experience its awe-inspiring beauty. To see incredible animals in their natural habitat, such as lions, cheetahs, buffalo, gazelles, giraffes, elephants, and hippos.

I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity just shy of my 27th birthday when I took a 6-week safari through eastern Africa.?One part of the trip involved?a jet boat ride up the mighty Zambesi River. It was a once on a lifetime opportunity, and I had to take it.?

The river was high, the current incredibly fast, and the rapids extremely dangerous.?Within a few minutes of setting off, the jet boat flipped and was smashed to pieces by the river, and I was sucked into the middle of the raging torrent of water.

Life lessons learned the hard way

Facing mortal uncertainty against a foe stranger than myself (in my case, I was up against Mother Nature herself) put things in perspective very quickly.?

The same goes for the challenges we face in everyday life.?They don’t need to be life-threatening to overwhelm us.?But the magnitude of their impact comes down to how we choose to respond.??

Here are a few of the many lessons I learned that day as I was dragged down one of the most dangerous rivers in the world.?

Lesson #1: Focus on the things you can control.

Some things you can control, and others you cannot. Focus on what you can and forget about those you can’t.

As I was pulled into the middle of the mighty Zambezi River, I realised I had two choices – I could panic and lose all sense of reason and composure, or I could accept what happened and adjust my mindset to deal with what was about to come.

As I got pulled into the middle of the river, I made the mental decision to focus and be aware of?what was happening and, to the best of my abilities, try to manage the situation. My goal – survival!

I knew I only had a certain amount of physical and mental energy, and that if I was to survive this, I had to choose my battles carefully as the river took me into its clutches and sent me on the ride of my life.

Lesson #2: Decision-making determines the quality of your life

As I was ripped downstream through the water, dragged under by the overwhelming current, and propelled through rapids with walls of water over 3 meters high, the only thing I had control over was?my decision-making process.

I calmly took stock and looked at what I had available to me.

I was wearing a lifejacket and it was a sturdy one. I could also hear?the voice of my white-water Rafting Guide in my head (from earlier in the day)?when he said?“Should the river pull you under, do not fight it. Instead, count slowly to 100; if the river does not release you, then you can panic!”

I was in the middle of the river, rocketing down the rapids. I can still see in my mind’s eye, my feet in front of me as I lay slightly back?held up by the life jacket, the tips of my shoes poking out of the water?and me holding?on to the breast area of my lifejacket.

I was hit with whitewater from every direction. I was bounced around like a ‘cork in the ocean’. All I could think was “You have to go with this. You cannot fight this yet. This is beyond your control and trying to fight it will only get you killed”.

I got through the first set of rapids?unscathed. As I came into a calmer section of the river, the serenity of that moment was surreal.??The river turned left around a bend?and I noticed I was getting closer to the riverbank. I was caught in an eddy, which is?an area of swirling water that can form on the inside of the corner at a river’s turn and often get you back to land.

I thought this was my chance to make it to shore. The eddy brought me tantalisingly close to the rocks and boulders by the river’s edge. I started to swim for my life. I was still fully clothed, had a bulky lifejacket on, and runners on my feet.??

I frantically tried to swim to the riverbank which was now less than 2 meters away, but the lifejacket made it difficult to make any progress, and my soaked runners were heavy. I could feel the energy draining from my body and my muscles beginning to hurt with the build-up of lactic acid.

I had to make one of the most painful decisions of my life right there. At that moment, I asked myself these critical questions:

• Should I take off my lifejacket in the hope it will make it easier to swim to the riverbank?
• Should I take off my runners because they were heavy, although they were more effective in the water than?my feet alone?
• Should I continue to try to swim to the edge, knowing I would face the next set of rapids exhausted?if I did not make it?

I didn’t want to give up swimming for the riverbank, but I knew if it meant discarding my lifejacket or kicking off my shoes, then based on the probability of the circumstances I found myself in, it would almost certainly be a death sentence.

My answer to all was, “No”.?

I chose to let go, stop swimming, and have the river take me, once again, back into the raging torrent, not knowing what lay ahead. I knew I had to conserve my energy if I was to have any chance of surviving this ordeal.?

At that moment, I realized I had little control over what was about to happen. All I could do was accept what the river was going to throw at me and make decisions to the best of my ability.

I didn’t?know at the time, but I was putting into practice a decision-making tool I call the ‘P3 strategy’ –?pause, perspective, proceed.

This part of my ordeal?taught confirmed the idea that you must pick your battles. Sometimes you’ll succeed, and other times you won’t. You must assess the situation you are in and analyse the likely outcomes, knowing the future is uncertain and that there will be many factors at play that will determine the actual result.??

Sometimes, what happens to us in life is unfair and beyond our control. It’s how we react to the circumstances that?determine the difference between success or failure, or in my case on the Zambesi River, life or death.

Lesson #3: The Power of?Persistence

The river slowly pulled me back into its middle, again. I could hear the upcoming rapids just around the corner and knew I was in for another hell of a ride. All I could do was say to myself, “Stay aware. Take in what’s happening. And look for the first opportunity to make it to the riverbank.”?In other words, keep your reason and maintain the?quality of your decision-making process.

As I entered the top of the next set of?rapids, I could see?the “churn” of water was more chaotic, the white water higher, the noise louder, and there was a massive pour over (or dip) in the middle of the river. I was sent catapulting through the rapids?at breakneck speed.

As I was pushed into the massive dip, I was thrown sideways to a less frenetic section of the rapid. As I caught my breath, I felt what I can only describe as a “hand” reach up from the bottom of the river and grab me just slightly above my right ankle. It literally felt like the index finger, middle finger and thumb of a human hand reached up from the bottom of the river?and latched on to my leg.

Before I could understand what was happening, I was pulled under and held by?the force of this mysterious ‘hand’.?Below the water, the noise of the river disappeared and all I could see was the Sun shining through from the sky above. I was immersed in a serene if not surreal?moment, enjoying the beauty of the river from an imaginable perspective.

The Raft Guide’s voice once again entered my head,?“Should the river pull you under, do not fight it. Instead, count slowly to 100; if the river does not release you, then you can panic!”?

So, I started to count… 1 – 2 – 3… then the ‘hand’ let go and the river spat me upwards through the surface with the force of a missile launch. I was again in the rapids?and heading down the river.

Once again, as I exited the rapids?there was an eddy in the river which took me closer to the riverbank. This time I sensed I was closer than the last, although the struggle was still immense given the bulky lifejacket I was wearing. I knew that if I did not make it this time to the river’s edge, then I might not be able to get out of the river at all.

I gave it everything I had – and made it! I pulled myself up onto the boulder with the last ounce of energy I had. I was spent.

My river ordeal was over.?But there was still the ever-present threat of the?crocodiles to deal with.

The experience taught me the?importance of persistence?and never giving up.?

It taught me to make calculated judgements, then decide and act, and adjust, as necessary.?

It taught me some things were beyond my control, but other things were within my control and that it was those that I needed to focus on.

My river adventure taught me that the future is uncertain, and we can only live, decide and act in the present. We must be cognisant of the past and aware of the future, and mindful there are external forces that will shape the outcome beyond what we might prefer.

I learned decision-making is the most powerful cognitive tool we possess. Developing a personal?‘Decision-making Operating System‘?(DOS) is crucial to achieving the outcomes you want, the quality of life your desire, fulfillment, happiness, and success (as defined by you).?

A personal DOS directly influences your ability to create the ideal balance between impact, meaning, purpose, income, and freedom (personal and professional).

See you next week.

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