Truth in Transformation - a Story about Resentment and Reconciliation

“Ballad of the Bards” is ultimately a story about how the incredible power of storytelling can be used, and is often used, to entrench oneself in old unhelpful dynamics. These two storytellers - a troubadour and a minstrel - have learned to despise each other by compounding the same old stories over and over.? Ultimately the breakthrough happens through circumstance and the brave willingness to pay attention. It is only then that a kind of miracle can take place: they choose a different story.

This is something we all understand and suffer from. We repeat old stories and shackle ourselves to resentment and a blind desire to be right. We choose “right” over happy and thus sink deeper and deeper into unhealthy practices. The aim of this episode is to demonstrate a way out. To listen, to see, and then to choose something new.

Full transcript

The next time he crossed paths with Tally, he told her as much. But her response was to relay an experience she had recently where she encountered a young man so harnessed by fear of what could happen, that he organized his entire life to be as safe as possible. “And he's miserable,” she told him. “He spends his days in his shop and is fearful of strangers and, well, what kind of life is that?” “A real life” answered Gwillim. “A life that can actually be lived instead of the dangerous fantasies you were sprouting.” Yes, well, this conversation didn't get anywhere and was the beginning of a long and deepening divide between two former friends.?

Okay, so that is a snippet from the story, the Ballad of the Bards, which is a part of our Stories from the Well collection. And this, this story is actually about storytellers. So I'm a professional storyteller and I happen to find that archetype of the storyteller to be very interesting. It's complex and it's complicated. And the thing is, storytelling is something that we all do. Of course, obviously we do it all the time, all day long. But there's actually very few instances in which we recognize its baseline transformative potential. Storytelling's ability to literally change situations and behaviors and dynamics. Um, it's casting spells. I mean, what is that? What is casting spells, but saying words out loud to change and transform a situation, change what's happening. So that's what storytelling is. So it's like everybody has this incredibly powerful magic charm with them all the time that can create and, you know, transform the world of our dreams. And yet most of us actually use this magic charm to prove that we're right and, you know, complain about a situation and exaggerate and, and develop these wild fantasies.?

Now, I don't mean to sound negative, but I really think this is the nature of speech. We all want to connect with each other. And so we use our speech to develop that connection. And since most of us are, you know, attracted to viral stories, those viral stories these days tend to be negative. So we can get caught up in that negativity as well. And we forget that our words are magic charms that are recreating and recreating and building this world all around us. So the ironic thing about this story that you're about to hear is that the two central characters are professional storytellers and they know better, and yet they do the same thing. They take old resentments and gossip, and they tell stories that confirm the negativity. They build up this world in which the two of them are enemies. They use, you know, their magic charm to solidify an old story that they're against each other. When they could just as easily use the same magic charm, their storytelling, their skill of transformative storytelling, to forgive and heal, and then build a world of empathy and love.?

And for most of the story, they don't do that. They just keep muttering and grumbling and repeating old stories about the other person. That person, her, him. They tell those old stories over and over and over and it makes them miserable. So do you relate to this? Of course you do, because this is a thing we all do. I mean, I'm not a psychologist, so I don't know why we do this. But I know that I can get lost in old stories. I can get, you know, stuck in old slights, old dynamics, resentments that I just keep rebuilding, reliving, resentment, refeelng over and over by repeating the old stories. And I'm a storyteller. I should know better. Now, sometimes I do step out of that. Sometimes I'm able to stop that cycle and when I do, I know how to respond. I become careful of the words that I choose and I become aware of how powerful my voice is and I consciously change the narrative.?

Now again, I'm not talking psychology here. I'm not even talking about self-help. I'm just talking about storytelling. I'm telling a new story and I tell it in a new way. I do not grumble, I do not sneer. I use my full magical voice to tell a new truth, to transform a situation into something new. And then it transforms and it works. It does work. Many of you have witnessed this. It's a very powerful tool that every single person listening to this podcast can use.?

And you'll notice when you listen to this story that you're gonna listen to in a minute, that it doesn't start with a thought or decision or a plan. The transformation I'm talking about. Gwillim and Tally, the two storytellers in this story, don't have a realization that changes everything. They make a change first because they notice something. That's actually the first step. They pay attention to what is actually happening. They pay attention to the truth of what's happening right now. So again and again, this first step with transformative storytelling is listening. It's paying attention. It's the number one thing, the telling part of storytelling and the actual content of the story, that part, they both follow listening. Always.?

So in a few seconds you can listen to the Ballad of the Bards, but first I wanted to tell you just a few things about this free 5 day workshop on making your voice more powerful - on the hidden forces in your vocality.? You can get the workshop right now from our website www.howtostory.org. It is super fun and it is a great first step for any conscious and transformative storytelling and it's yours once you visit the website.

It’s going to unpack how you can bring consciousness and power to your voice - to your vocality - from the perspective of, yes, working with fairies.? Fairies? Well you’re going to have to go to the website to find out. howtostory.org. Go there to download the workshop guide and then you’ll also be the first to hear about community storytelling events, group events and upcoming classes for children and adults - those sell out quickly.??

And one other thing, for realsies now, can you please stop and do me a favor right now and give us a review and rating?? You’ve probably listened to an episode or two by now, right?? If you could rate and review us, it is going to help us get these tools to more people. Thank you for your help and enjoy the story.??

The Ballad of the Bards

There was once upon a time, two very talented storytellers that traveled throughout the north bringing very different gifts and quite often to the same towns. One was an older man named Gwillim who was tall and thin and wore a long straight beard and was famous for his particularly bushy eyebrows. The other was an older woman named Talisa, or just Tally who was short and stout and famous for her wide smile and long curly jet black hair. Both of them were members of the Bardic Guild, meaning that though they both played instruments and sang and were entertaining in their own way, they were essentially traveling storytellers. Bards were honored and celebrated in those days as being messengers of the news, famous and entertaining stories, tellers of history and pictures of what could be. They were both very good and quite experienced for what they offered. They were both well known and could bring huge crowds.?

Both were talked about long after they left the town, and both were eagerly anticipated when word arrived that either of them were coming. But part of what was so curious about these two famous and accomplished Bards was that they were also known for hating each other. You see, they were two very different kinds of Bards. In fact, they each represented two subsets of Bards that were becoming more popular in their age. The minstrel and the troubadour. Gwillim was more of a minstrel, meaning that his music and storytelling was focused on informing the public about the goings on in the world. Gwillim was passionate about history and world events and how those events have affected current events. He studied the major players like political and religious leaders, as well as the rebels and artists and criminals of the time. He felt it was of utmost importance that Bards keep the world informed so that they could make good decisions for the benefit of the community. He felt that his role was sacred and necessary for the survival of modern life and progress for the future.?

Tally was a very different kind of bard. She was what the troubadours represented. She sang her songs and told her stories focused on what could be. She sang of courage and honor and great ideals. She sang of what people were capable of rather than their current behavior. And she sang of true love, the highest of all ideals. She felt that in order for modern society to progress, it needed goals. It needed a clear picture of our potential, even if that seemed lofty or difficult to attain. She felt her primary purpose was to spread the good news of the ideal and leave these images as she worked town to town.?

Gwillim knew Tally very well and completely disagreed. Not only did he think her work was silly, he thought it was dangerous. He thought that Tally was essentially spreading lies and false hope. He thought she was encouraging the townspeople to leave reality behind and to distract themselves with romance and fancy, thus making themselves vulnerable and weak. And he did not hide his disdain for what she was doing. Now, Tally meanwhile thought that Gwillim was living in the old ways and that his cynicism and limited thinking was holding people back. If all they heard was the bad news of the day, then bad news was all people thought was true. She thought Gwillim was encouraging people to settle, to give up hope for something better in pushing them towards resignation. She thought Gwillim was like an old disease that convinced people of something that was essentially untrue.?

And consequently, both Bards spent equal time spreading their own work as well as working to undo the work of their rival. It was not uncommon for Gwillim to do some research before singing his songs. He would see what sorts of nonsense Tally had recently spread. And then the first part of his public work was to announce, “Now I know a certain fool who's been through here spreading her silly stories and fanciful pictures of life of milk and honey. And I say, ha, what fun. I applaud the silliness the way I encourage a child. Dream, I say, enjoy your folly. But I am now ready to sing to the grownups who wish to see the world as it is and build a better life with what is true, not the dreams of a child.”?

And then he would begin a dramatic and thrilling rendition of the day's news full of its hard truths and sometimes frightening realities. Now, Tally was not so straightforward. She would weave her criticisms of Gwillim into her work. She always started with enrolling and enrapturing her audience with beautiful images and lovely song. And once she had their full attention, she would weave in characters that were clearly meant to represent Gwillim. Often bent old men full of bile and hardness who would nearly take down a town with their bitterness and spite. Both approaches were extremely effective, and the same audiences in a single town would easily be swayed in one direction or the other. They were simply grateful for the visit and the stories and the songs. Now, generally the two of them avoided each other. They would hear from the town's people which way the other traveled, and they would shift course and travel a different direction.?

They felt that part of their work was indeed to undo the bad effect of their rival, but neither of them wanted anything to do with the actual person. No, they actually dread the idea of meeting again. There were already too many instances of that already. Now they actually trained together under the same master Bard and were quite incredibly good friends at the time. They admired each other's skill and facility and at first laughed at their different tendencies. Tally thought it was cute that Gwillim always wanted to know what really happened, and Gwillim was just as swept away by Tally songs as anyone else. But once they started to work independently, they began to think the differences were not so cute or charming. The change for Gwillim came when he met a young woman who chose not to marry a certain fellow who her family thought would make an excellent partner because he wasn't her knight in shining armor as he put it.?

Gwillim was curious about this and found out that Tally had told a story about such a knight in shining armor, and it had resulted in this local woman wanting more for herself. Gwillim thought this was foolish and not at all practical, and it would badly affect the young woman's chances. And the next time he crossed paths with Tally, he told her as much, but her response was to relay an experience she had recently where she encountered a young man so harnessed by fear of what could happen, that he organized his entire life to be as safe as possible. “And he's miserable,” she told him. “He spends his days in his shop and is fearful of strangers and well, what kind of life is that?” “A real life” answered Gwillim. “A life that can actually be lived instead of the dangerous fantasies. You are sprouting.”

Yes well, this conversation didn't get anywhere and was the beginning of a long and deepening divide between two former friends. And then something accidental and fateful happened. Many years later, after successfully avoiding each other and dedicating themselves to undoing the work of the other, they ended up in the same town during a blizzard. There was no other tavern that could house them. So not only were they in the same town, but they slept in the same building and took their meals in the same dining room. It was a disaster waiting to happen.? And at first it was exactly that. A disaster. Tally arrived first as she had planned in advance to come to the town for a winter festival. She booked her room in the tavern and then watched along with the rest of the residents as the clouds thickened and grayed. And then the temperatures plummeted and the winds increased. She decided to retire to the tavern as it was clearly going to be a big storm.?

Meanwhile, Gwillim had not intended to come to this town, but when he spotted certain patterns in the clouds overhead, he knew that a bad storm was coming. So he quickly changed his plans and headed south. He arrived just as the storm was shifting into a full blizzard and managed to get his horse safe into the barn and his carriage stowed and covered under a tarp before making the very challenging trek to the tavern. He was an old man, but he was sturdy. And even though he was blown over a few times before he arrived, he made it safely and barred the door behind him. The tavern keep was shocked to see him at first because she knew who else was in the building, but then she quickly deposited Gwillim by the fire and with a thick quilt over his shoulders.?

“You saved me”, he said with a smile as she gave him a piping hot bowl of soup. “Never have I been happier to be here”. “Well…,” she said as she looked over her shoulder, we’ll see about that”. Gwillim didn't answer any questions. He was too grateful for the fire and the soup. So he focused all of his attention on what was before him and did not hear that Tally arrived in the common room with a plan. “Well, since I won't be going to the hall tonight, perhaps we'll have a little storytelling here instead.” This was met with applause and cheers of Let's have a story! And it was only those sounds, not Tally's words, that pulled Gwillim out of his reverie. “I'm nearly warmed friends”. He called as he pulled back the quilt. “But yes, happy to sing you some songs.” But then he saw Tally and Tally saw him.?

The two were at once shocked and confused, and then very, very upset. “What…” she managed to say. “You…” he retorted. And then the front door was opened once again and in came a group of people. Everyone's attention went to the group, and once the door was closed and barred again, they could all see that it was a man and a woman and what appeared to be their four children. They were all nearly frozen and the other guests quickly moved to help them. Quilts were wrapped around each one of them, room was made around the fire and Tally and Gwillim had no time or room to fuss at each other. Finally, once the children were settled and eating their own bowls of soup, the tavern keep came and said, “We have two Bards with us tonight. Perhaps one of them might have a story to help warm the children.”?

And then she looked at Tally and Gwillim. And though the two bards were clearly upset at seeing each other well, they were both professionals. They knew that the needs of their audience outweighed any personal issues they might be currently experiencing. “I,” said Tally with a wide smile. She then came to sit by the children and proceeded to weave a wonderful story with a song about a family of birds. Robins that flew through a blizzard seeking shelter and how they managed to find a crevice in a rocky crag. The crevice was all that was available and they snuggled in and the warmth from their love for each other managed to melt the ice of the crevice. And then other birds found safety there as well. When she finished, Gwillim took out his lute and began to play a sweet soothing song. After a few bars, he sang of the nature of storms and how they can appear sudden and dangerous. But if you knew the science of the storms, they could be predicted and thus precautions could be made. And then his song mapped out different things one could look for in the clouds and then how you might respond to what you see.?

Though Tally was still very angry that Gwillim was suddenly in the town where only she was supposed to be. She couldn't help but be grateful to learn what she did from Gwillim’s song. It was useful information. There was no denying it. And though Gwillim inwardly was scoffing at Tally's nonsensical story about melting snow and ice with the power of love, he could see that the children truly loved it and snuggled in more safely as they listened. These two stories prompted more. Tally followed Gwillim’s song with her own song about the weather, only hers was about how snowflakes are all different. Except that in all the world, a snowflake might find one other single snowflake that is identical and that is the nature of true love. And everyone sighed with pleasure at that story.?

Then Gwillim followed her song with a true story of his own about how a storm in a far off land managed to bring the king of that land into contact with another king from a warring kingdom. And how their forced contact managed to end the war and bring about peace. Well, the two of them continued to tell more stories and sing more songs until it became very late and the children all fell asleep and the people went back to their rooms. The two of them continued into the night until they both realized that they were the only two that were still awake. Everyone else had fallen asleep. They realized this at the same time. And then with confused expressions, they looked around the tavern. People were rolled up in blankets and snoring away. They took full inventory of every sleeping guest and then looked at each other.?

The situation was ridiculous and laughable, and they couldn't help but break into wide smiles and then put their hands over their mouths so they didn't break out in loud laughter. “Is that true?” asked Tally “about the two kings? “It is” said Gwillim proudly. “I tell you that truth is often more incredible than fiction.” And then he considered her stories and had to ask, “Where did you learn the snowflake song?” “I wrote it myself,” she said. “Really?” he answered. “Well, the content is rubbish, of course, but the tune sounded a little more like a duet.” “It is a duet,” she said. “The two melodies actually overlap quite beautifully.” “I can hear that,” he said as he pulled out his lute again. “Can you uh, play the first melody again?” She took out her harp and then strummed the chords. “Okay,” he said, replicating them on his loot. As he played, she began to play the second melody with the harp and indeed it worked beautifully.?

They nodded and smiled at each other “And remind me of the words again,” he asked “The chorus.” “Each are alone, none like us. Just an ace till by heaven or happens we come face to face, to another, none other, but a match perfectly. And the weather gets better. And the true we can see. Gwillim frowned as he tried to memorize the words and match them to the melody. He continued to repeat the song and play the top melody while Tally played and sang the second melody. And as they played, they adjusted certain notes and added flourishes and even tinkered a bit with the words until they realized they had created something beautiful together. They sang it again and again and again. And when they finally stopped, the room broke into applause. They hadn't realized they had all woken up and were now listening to them. Finally, one of the children that was listening with sparkly eyes said, “You are better together.”

Gwillim and Tally were flustered by this comment at first, but then noticed all the nodding heads and agreeing words from the rest of the room. “Well, thank you all,” said Gwillim. “We should probably all head to bed now, don't you think?” Added Tally. “Yes. It's very late. And perhaps, uh, in the morning I, or we will sing a few more songs.” And then he looked nervously at Tally. Not sure if it was okay for him to say what he just did. But then he was relieved and actually delighted to see her enthusiastically nodding her head yes. The room then dispersed, Gwillim found a cushion in the corner that would make a nice bed for him. And as he drifted off to sleep, he smiled to himself and sang softly …To another, none other, but a match perfectly. And the weather gets better. And the true we can see.?

Thank you for joining us. Our theme music is by Javon Phelps. The story music is by Angus Sewell McCann. Today's audio story was edited by my co-teacher over at How to Story, Meredith Markow. Special thanks to Mickey Lozano for her marketing expertise. And the How to Story Podcast is produced by me, David Sewell McCann, and Marjorie Shik.?

Thanks for joining us.