The Truth About Self-Reflection: Why Isolation Leads to Self-Deception

“The worst of all deceptions is self-deception.” — Plato

There’s a dangerous illusion that many leaders fall into—the belief that they can understand themselves in isolation. But self-reflection without external perspectives doesn’t lead to clarity; it leads to self-deception.

Having worked with many leaders, I’ve seen firsthand the difference between those who embrace self-reflection and those who avoid it. The ones who do not engage in honest reflection often end up harming themselves—both professionally and personally.

The Cost of Avoiding Self-Reflection

When leaders are dishonest with themselves, they refuse to acknowledge the truth and turn a blind eye toward reality. This results in poor decisions based on false assumptions and distorted facts. Even more concerning, you may act in ways that are morally wrong without even realizing it.

Without self-awareness, you become vulnerable to:

?? Rationalizing bad decisions—convincing yourself that what you’re doing is right when it isn’t.

??Ignoring warning signs—failing to recognize when your behaviour is out of alignment with your values.

?? Damaging relationships—losing trust and credibility because others can see what you refuse to acknowledge.

True leadership starts with self-awareness. And self-awareness begins with self-reflection.

How to Develop Genuine Self-Reflection

#1: Write a One-Pager Once a Week

Self-reflection isn’t just thinking—it’s writing, processing, and confronting our own thoughts.

Professor Harry Kraemer at Kellogg School of Management requires his students to write a one-page reflection every week for ten weeks. At first, the reflections are shallow—simply recounting events. But as the weeks progress, deeper themes emerge:

? Am I living in alignment with my values?

? What assumptions am I making that may be flawed?

? What truly matters to me?

Journaling isn’t just about capturing thoughts; it’s about challenging them. Writing forces you to engage with your mind and uncover truths you might otherwise avoid.

#2: Invite People Into Your Self-Reflection

We don’t discover who we are in isolation; we discover it in connection with others.

To avoid self-deception, have conversations with people who will tell you the truth—even when it’s uncomfortable. Find someone who:

? Knows you well and shares strong values.

? Has the courage to challenge your thinking.

? Helps you explore whether your actions align with your principles.

Self-reflection with others acts as a mirror—showing you not just how you see yourself, but how others perceive you.

The Power of Self-Awareness

Self-reflection is not just an intellectual exercise—it’s a tool for control and transformation. Through regular reflection, you become aware of and gain control over the unconscious processes that drive your behaviour.

This awareness impacts every area of your life:

? Your decision-making becomes clearer and more ethical.

? Your relationships improve as you recognize and correct blind spots.

? Your success grows as you align your actions with your values.

Your Challenge This Week

1?? Write a one-page reflection before the week ends. No filters—just honesty. 2?? Meet with someone who will challenge your thinking and provide a fresh perspective.

The leaders I admire most practice self-reflection with others. They understand that the biggest threat to growth isn’t failure—it’s self-deception.

Will you choose reflection or self-deception this week?

Bye for now,

Beata