The Truth in "Pick Your Battles"?

The Truth in "Pick Your Battles"

This article comes from a personal experience which many seem to resonate with. Out of respect to those who know some of the situations/people I am referring to, I won't share the specifics of what triggers me.

But it is something close to my heart and I suspect something you are aware of as well.

So I share it with you to:

  1. Encourage introspection about this challenge in your own life
  2. Help you become more intentional about how you interact with others
  3. Find out more about your experience, if you're willing to share


What is a battle?

As with all things in life, this is a matter of perception defined by our beliefs, cultures & environments.

To some, a conversation of differing perspectives is daunting.

To others, an argument with a family member is normal, easy and how things get done.

To others, it's a solo journey of getting angry/sad/mad inside while expressing nothing to others.

Q1: What is a battle for you?


Mindfulness at the start

And then there are times when we find ourselves in a battle (fight, argument, confrontation...) which you never wanted to be in.

The key is being aware of what starts these battles. Is it when they say something? When you're low on sleep/energy? When they make a decision which negatively affects you?

Q2: How do you know when you are about to enter a battle?


Triggers, triggers, triggers

Perhaps all you wanted to do was visit family, be friendly & leave. And then you get emotionally triggered. You see something in them which repulses you.

I've made some notes about triggers below, but the essence of a trigger is when their values are so vastly different to your own that the embodiment of their values deeply offends you.

This may be as simple as someone making a joke about someone else's weight. Or it could be someone using "you" language which you don't believe is true (e.g. "You often say silly things like this"). It could also be seeing someone do something which you believe is unethical (e.g. a vegetarian going to an event with a pig on a spit).

But they're different for every person.

Q3: What are your triggers?


React or Respond?

And then the most important thing to do is have a strategy to take the best course of action.

Perhaps sometimes it's best to let snide comments slide. Or perhaps sometimes it's best to stand your ground or defend the person being attacked.

But if you don't have a strategy then you will #react to whatever comes up.

With a strategy, you can choose to #respond instead.

This doesn't need to be as specific as "if they say this then I'll say this." It's typically more general and focused on managing your emotional state rather than focused on their actions.

E.g. #Meditation to take a step back and recentre

E.g. Going for a short walk immediately after feeling that triggering feeling

E.g. Playing calm music in triggering settings

Q4: How can you self-regulate and limit the impact from triggers?



Note 1: Most things in others which we are repulsed by are actually things which we see as reflections of ourselves.


Note 2: We can't control anything in life, especially the things others say or do. But we can always influence the way we feel and the way we respond. (If you feel incapable of this, then book in an intro call. I have coached 100s of clients and can definitely empower you to influence the way you feel and respond to any situation)




What's next?

In the next newsletter articles I'll continue to explore ways to cultivate a growth mindset and achieve the results you're striving toward with more ease, joy & passion!

Be sure to ??Subscribe?? to this newsletter to get notified of future releases.

And if you want to get results now (& learn how to enjoy life now too), then let's connect. Book in 30 minutes with me, mention this article and I'll help you get started on achieving the results you desire through mindfulness, action & achieving results.



Your thoughts:

I am really interested to hear your thoughts about picking your battles instead of falling on your sword.

If this resonates, please share your comments below (or DM me if you don't want to share publicly)

This is a conversation which needs to be had!

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Harry Goldberg的更多文章

  • Four Questions to Change Your Life

    Four Questions to Change Your Life

    I have asked myself variants of these four questions every Monday for 6 years and it has fundamentally changed my life.…

    2 条评论
  • Investing Successfully is about to get Very Difficult...

    Investing Successfully is about to get Very Difficult...

    We are (most likely) heading into a global recession. So this is an opportune time to remind you that there are two…

    2 条评论
  • Do You Need Money to be Successful?

    Do You Need Money to be Successful?

    Most people fall into one of two categories: The pursuit of money is the cause of unhappiness Money brings me…

    4 条评论
  • Who Influences You?

    Who Influences You?

    This is a personal topic for me. I used to be lost.

  • The Key Ingredient to Enjoying Life

    The Key Ingredient to Enjoying Life

    At the time of writing this article, I have now recorded 19 podcast episodes on the Success with Purpose Podcast to…

  • Step 4: Take action consistently

    Step 4: Take action consistently

    It's an ugly process. But if you want to change the results you achieve, it's the most vital step.

    20 条评论
  • Step 3: Take Successful Action

    Step 3: Take Successful Action

    How to learn what action you need to take We've spoken much about our beliefs. Both our beliefs in ourselves and our…

    25 条评论
  • Step 2: Believe in Your Potential

    Step 2: Believe in Your Potential

    How to Change Your Belief in Your Potential It might sound corny to you, but when we create a clearer image of who we…

    15 条评论
  • Step 1: Believe in Your Success

    Step 1: Believe in Your Success

    How to Change the Belief in Your Success The first this to do is to spot the patterns. Within each of us, there are…

    20 条评论
  • The four steps to create a growth mindset

    The four steps to create a growth mindset

    Last week I spoke about what a Growth Mindset is and the Virtuous Cycle. If you would like to read more on this topic…

    12 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了