The Truth and Nothing but the Truth
Chris Morales
Managing Director, BNI Canada | Building Client Relationships, Driving Sales Growth, Unlocking Advantages
Today it's all about the instant rebuttal. The word or line that should be on the tip of your tongue when you need a witty response:
BLAMESTORMING. Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. Suggested use: "OK let's stop blamestorming and get on with fixing the problem"
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. Suggested use: "Don't worry, as soon as the Seagull Manager leaves, we can get back to the real work".
SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die. Suggested use: "Today is Salmon Day...just got the memo that they're closing down our division".
CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles. Suggested use: "It's a cube farm but it's the best cube farm!"
PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. Re-visit the movie, 'Office Space". Suggested use: "Hi honey, what a day! We had a three prairie dogging day today!"
SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business". Suggested use: "This sitcom isn't funny anymore"
SINBAD. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate. Suggested use: "Another Sinbad weekend coming up!"
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. Suggested use: "Time for a little percussive maintenance on this old laptop".
ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes. Suggested use: "Sigh...here we go again with another request for a report from the adminisphere".
404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" meaning that the requested document could not be located. Suggested use: "This guy is a total 404!".
Until next time...