The truth of a miserable marriage or, relationship.

A relationship / marriage full of resentment and unmet needs is an unhappy relationship, its reality.

We are trained at a very early age to find a husband/wife THAT will bring happiness. Stick through abuse and misery, that’s unconditional love! Stay by your man!

So many girls are raised to find a man that can take care of them. They are fucked right out of the gate.

So many marriages and relationships are forced and they live in a delusion where they settle and don’t even know they are settling. That’s LIFE! The life we were conditioned to believe.

By the time most people are 25–30 years old they have spent more time chasing a partner than they have chasing their own identity.

Their whole identity becomes this fairy tale romance and love that doesn’t exist. But the media and movies have us believing it does.

Relationships are a lot of work. But no one wants to put in the work, hence why they jump person to person.

And the reason they jump person to person is because they’ve never BEEN alone, it frightens them!

How many friends and family members do you know that are fooling themselves and, others with fake loyalties social media?

Great relationships aren’t “born” they are created through two self-aware and, action driven people.

There is no brutal truth to being single.

It’s a relief once you figure out you have a ton of work to do on yourself before you can offer “anything” to another person.

What happens is you get two unaware people that hook up on the first date. The infatuation starts, as does the honeymoon phase. And as time has it, it turns sour pretty quick. Very few know what true love is? It’s generally two that think they are in love that reproduce and raise kids in a world and call it love.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?...You wanted truth?

No one can stay single long enough to figure out they’re living the miserable truth. But they are married. Not single.

When we walk down the aisle to get married, we are not thinking that one day, we will be divorcing this person whom we are so over the moon in love with. Or that we may remain married to them, but we will become very unhappy in our marriage.

When we walk down the aisle, we do so because we believe that this is love. We believe this is forever. We believe our future with this person will be full of joy. We believe we are entering into a lifetime of bliss.

We are often very wrong.

As I was going through my divorce process, I was discussing divorce with my consultant, and I said the following:

The divorce rate is about 50%. But I know a lot of women in relationships who complain about their husbands all the time. A lot of people seem to be staying in miserable marriages, mainly because they have kids.

I bet if all the people got divorced who really wanted to get divorced, the divorce rate would be more like 70% or 80%.

Yes, definitely. I pondered the reasons.

Why do so many people get married and then end up miserable?

What goes so wrong with all these relationships?

Do you want to add a word or two?....?

Staying With the Wrong Person Due to Societal Norms.

As the typical story goes, you meet someone in college or shortly thereafter, date for a few years, get engaged, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.

This was exactly what happened with me and most of my friends (minus the happily ever after part).

Many of them are still married and are happy. But not all of them.

One of my friends, who is now divorced, told me, “I don’t think I actually ever loved him. But we were dating, and marriage just seemed to be the next step.”

When you desire marriage and a family, it can be difficult to end a relationship if most of your friends are getting engaged and married. In that stage of life, starting over can feel scary and daunting. So our reservations about our relationship are pushed down and ignored.

Your comments?....

Emotional Immaturity and Dysfunctional Behavior Patterns

Unhealthy people are not capable of having healthy relationships.

Even if you know what a healthy relationship should be like, if you are not emotionally mature and emotionally healthy, you will have maladaptive coping mechanisms, and you will engage in any number of dysfunctional behavior patterns.

Or if your partner is not emotionally mature or emotionally healthy, they will also have maladaptive coping mechanisms, and they will engage in any number of dysfunctional behavior patterns.

This will create a volatile relationship.

We attract people who are at a similar level of emotional maturity as we are. If we meet our partners when we are young, we may both be emotionally immature due to do our youth.

And although it is possible to grow and mature within a relationship, often people do not grow or mature.

They continue to ignore their issues, or they conveniently blame their issues on their partner, instead of taking responsibility and doing the inner work necessary to heal their dysfunctional behavior patterns.

They believe that if only their partner would change, then the relationship would improve.

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