Truth about lies
From my 7th speech in Toastmasters International
"There was a big liar, who was pulled to court several times; he was a great story teller, he was always released instantly.
Once, a judge gave him a stick during interrogation and told him that the stick will grow longer an inch by the next morning, if he was a liar. The liar was very clever; he just cut the stick by an inch before the dawn."
Do you guys lie? How often? A study done by body language expert Richard Newman on British people in 2009/10 revealed out that men lie six times a day and twice as often as women do, study finds. And most interesting thing is their partner said that they can easily find out the lies.
But body language expert Richard Newman said: 'Most people can't read the signals.
'They assume that if someone is hiding the truth, they would hide their face and avoid eye contact. In fact, the opposite is true.
'Liars usually do everything they can to convince you of the truth, sitting still and looking at you to watch your reaction.
'People simply overestimate their skills in this area.'
Top ten lies men tell:
1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
2. This will be my last pint
3. No, your bum doesn't look big in that
4. I had no signal
5. My battery died
6. Sorry, I missed your call
7. I didn't have that much to drink
8. I'm on my way
9. It wasn't that expensive
10. I'm stuck in traffic
Top ten lies women tell:
1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine
2. Oh, this isn't new, I've had it ages
3. It wasn't that expensive
4. It was in the sale
5. I'm on my way
6. I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it
7. I didn't have that much to drink
8. I've got a headache
9. No, I didn't throw it away
10. Sorry, I missed your call
There are some professional lairs.
In rare cases it has been seen that certain groups of people do not fare accurately on the lie detector test. The following are some of these individuals:
People who often have to lie on the job (such as lawyers etc.)
Compulsive liars who have a history of frequently lying since years
People who have been given adequate time before being confronted, and know exactly what to say when confronted
People who know that they are being put through a lie detector test
The best scenario for using the lie detector test is when the individual being confronted is caught on the wrong foot and does not know that he/she is about to be asked a certain question for which the answer will have to be spontaneous. Under such a scenario, the individual's natural reactions will come into play and prove to be valuable inputs for the lie detector test.
Don’t use it when you do not have to.
Never, use this technique to your love once. There may be some good lies which protect your relations. All the lies are not bad. Those lies which are for the welfare of human beings are regarded as better than the truth. Life saving lie are welcomed.
There are some common techniques to have suspicion to lies:
Look for body language that might indicate someone is lying, such as not looking you in the eye when speaking to you, being fidgety, or acting nervous or uncomfortable. (Old technique)
Listen for inconsistencies in what the person tells you, such as different stories on different days, different time frames, and mistakes in remembering details or mixing up details.
Notice if the person steadfastly resists answering any questions. Extreme defensiveness could mean that he or she is trying to hide something.
Notice if the person accuses you of lying or being deceitful when you really haven't been. This could reflect the other person's own underlying behavior, which he or she is projecting onto you rather than owning up to it.
Listen to your gut and intuition. You may just know someone is lying. If you are not sure, don't jump to conclusions. Try to get some evidence to back up your hunch.
Consider asking directly if the person has lied to you. Many people feel bad getting caught up in lies, and find it a relief to finally be honest.
Try to be understanding and listen to the person's reasons for lying. Was he trying not to hurt you? Was she afraid you would be angry, upset or disappointed?
Look at your possible role in having someone lie to you. Are you someone who gets so upset hearing the truth that others feel they can't be honest with you?
Bills Brown: Former FBI Agent Says in his one of videos,
“Looking up to the right means you are visualizing something which never happened. For lefty it is not. S/he is telling truth.
People see the sudden reaction when people are lying. When they complete their lie they look back at you. They want to see if you are buying what they are selling.
Comfortably sit person telling the truth.
Liars may rub their neck, tap their figures, look at their watch; these may be signs of nervousness.
May lean back in the chair, sit to the side, and keep their arms crossed and hands tightly folded.
They try to position something between you and me.
They are speaking in one voice and all of a sudden they go very slow or fast or abnormal then they may be lying. These are the indications and not the conclusion.
Liar may do combo of all these things. You have to look at that.”
Polygraph exam
There are certain actions in human bodies, which they cannot control by them which are controlled/ affected by autonomic nervous system.
Dorland's Medical Dictionary defines:
"The autonomic nervous system (ANS or visceral nervous system) is the part of the peripheral nervous system that acts as a control system functioning largely below the level of consciousness, and controls visceral functions."
The ANS affects heart rate, digestion, respiration rate, salivation, perspiration, diameter of the pupils, micturition (urination), and sexual arousal. Whereas most of its actions are involuntary, some, such as breathing, work in tandem with the conscious mind.
A study conducted on ANS reveals these facts:
People eyes move to certain quadrants when asked questions relate to picture sound and feeling.
Visual Recall: up to the left: Remember
When you asked someone a question about an even, if he/she is telling a truth, his/her eyes moves up to the left to recall the event. This self reflected action. This cannot be controlled. However, this will be opposite in left handed person.
Visual construct: up to the right: Computation
When someone makes something (lie), his/her eye moves up to the right to construct a visual. It is opposite in case of left handed person.
Auditory Recall: straight to the left: Voice/Sound
When you ask someone about sound, he/she will recall sound by looking straight to the left.
Auditory Construct: straight to the right: Sound or voice manipulation
When he/she is lying, the eyes may go anywhere.
Kin aesthetic: Right Down: Feelings/artistic
Auditory Digital: Left Down: Visualize math/numbers
According to Steve Van (FBI Agent)
For every lie you tell you have to invent or create more lies.
You should have great memories to remember all lies. When you ask someone what you did this morning, he is relying in his memories. He need not create any story. Therefore, your memories, feelings, emotions, descriptions will be much more comprehensive. If the person is well rehearsed, then we may make mistakes to believe him. When a person is telling a truth only one part of his brain is functioning, but lying need much of the brain to visualize, compute, feel, imagine at the same time, While speaking the truth needs just to recall the event. People emphasis and keep on repeating the same statement when lying. Not only the content but language used as well.
You may lie to anyone. The question is; "can you lie to yourself?" Not possible!