The Truth about Freebies, Favors and Gettin' Paid!

From the outside, many people think I have my hands in a lot of stuff.

I write regular columns for CNN, Newsweek, the Observer, and several other publications. I often go on TV to talk about my articles or offer my opinion on politics, business issues, and foreign affairs. And then there is the far less visible work that I do in public and corporate affairs, consulting, and helping my wife run our family businesses overseas.

With so many different tentacles out there I am often approached by individuals who “need a favor “or who are looking for me to make an introduction.

But 9 times out of 10, the people asking me for these referrals these aren’t good college or high school friends that I grew up with, nor colleagues whom I’ve known for years; rather, oftentimes these solicitations come from people who I know only somewhat superficially or from those who may be in fact recent acquaintances.

Sometimes these requests are fairly innocuous, but I am often surprised by how many times the 'ask' is something that has real value to the person making it, yet in asking for the “quick fav” they express absolutely no intention of compensating me for my efforts or for access to my relationships, or even dangling out the possibility that at some point in the future, they may be very willing to return the favor. (I call these “Batman Favors” — open-ended chits you can use whenever you need them in the future.)

This generally leads me to a conundrum.

On one hand, I generally love lending a hand to people as I get tremendous satisfaction from helping them — even if it’s in the slightest fashion — get closer to their goals and objectives. On the other hand, I am surprised by when I need a favor, how some people — some of whom I feel I know quite well — fail to reciprocate.

The business of favors is tricky.

And after many years operating as a trader in the so-called “influence space” here is where I have landed: Be very clear about the types of favors you are willing to entertain, and those that need to have some monetary or other valuable chit attached to them.

For example, I was recently asked by the CEO of a fairly large company in Brazil to introduce him to the Head of State of another country, whom I know quite well. I know this CEO but not super well. He is the friend of someone who I know only marginally better.

This CEO offered no compensation, nor dangled out any future favor that he would be willing to extend to me in exchange for this introduction. And although I could’ve easily made the intro to the Head of State, this was a relationship that I had honed and worked on for many years – well over a decade.

I’m not going to share who this Head of State is, but it’s someone that I knew in his political career when he wasn’t even on the shortlist for becoming the top political figure in his country.

I could have easily introduced the CEO to this individual. He would’ve had the red carpet rolled out for him. But I chose not to, because this particular CEO was not valuing all of the time and effort that I had invested in developing this close relationship with this individual. Nor the sacrifices that I had made to even be in a position to meet him in the first place. (Believe me - major sacrifices!)

I also thought about it from the perspective of my friend, who is the Head of State. I thought about how he would see this introduction. And I soon realized that there was probably no immediate value to him, and that he would be willing to receive and meet with this CEO as a favor to me, and me alone.

MATH LESSONS

And this is where I do simple math equation in my head when confronted with these types of issues.

1. The CEO was asking me for a favor with no promise of compensation -- monetary or otherwise. I calculate that as a -1.

2. The Head of State, who is my friend, would have indulged my request to introduce him to the CEO, but he would’ve seen that as a favor to me. I also calculate that as a -1.

And what is -1 + -1? It’s -2.

And in this particular case, asking a Head of State for a favor is more like a -10 or a -100. And having a CEO, who has more than enough financial wherewithal to find an elegant way to compensate me for this request one way or the other is not a -1 , let’s call that a -10 for sure.

So the result of this equation was more like a -110 ... or thereabouts!

If I thought that this particular CEO was in a position to compensate me with a consulting contract, or some other form of payment down the road, or he could make some introductions for me, perhaps I would’ve valued his side of the ledger differently, and maybe it would’ve been an even trade. But as it stands, I decided to pass, and I told the CEO of the Brazilian company that I wasn’t in a position to be able to make that type of introduction.

I know that this particular CEO became somewhat irritated that I didn’t help him — word got back to me through the grapevine. And I hate having to disappoint people. But you have to know when to do a favor and how to price it accordingly. Know what the favor if worth and be sure if its an investment worth making.

Life is not full of many certainties and sometime the surest thing goes sideways and sometimes the best thing comes out of nowhere. But understanding the "favor ledger" has helped me navigate a near daily onslaught of people looking to tap into my non-monetary skills, connections, and other assets.

How do you navigate these types of issues? I'd love to hear other ways in which people look at these sometimes difficult situations.

Cheers,

Arick