The truth about desire

The first thing I remember desiring was another person’s love. I bet that could be said for most people. The second thing that I ever remember desiring, was a bike, it was a pity it belonged to my brother. I remember pedalling off as fast as my little five year old legs could pump, with my mother yelling, ‘Simone you get back here’ and me screaming, ‘I can’t hear you’, as loud as I possibly could as I took off down the road. 

It still makes me laugh. The audaciousness of the little girl that was Simone. 

We are pretty consumed with discovering our ‘purpose’ at the moment. But purpose is a combination of things, which makes it quite hard to figure out. It’s the result of skills, life experience and desire. It’s something we put together, it’s not something we are born with. It’s a choice and a direction, not an innate feature, which is why most people struggle defining their own. Actually using this formula you would probably get close, but I will speak more about purpose at another time. What I want to talk about today is desire. Oh yum, even the word is great. Because desire is innate, we know exactly what it is and how it feels. It’s like an instinct. And if we learn how it works properly, we can use it as a guide in becoming the greatest expression of who we should/would/could be. 

Desire needs to be well understood. It needs to be turned into a guiding force as once we’ve got the correct reading, desire informs what we need to create. 

It doesn’t work as well when someone gives the object of desire to us, because then it doesn’t become what it should; fulfilment and satisfaction!

When I think about it, there’s an actual hierarchy for how this all works. 

Desire is the beginning point. It’s innate. We can’t fake it. But we can get it confused. Like thinking we desire a particular squeeze, when what we really desire is connection. And thinking that we need more money, when what we really desire is to feel more success or security. 

Next comes belief. Belief is the necessary ingredient to achieve the desire. It’s the building of it. The greater the belief, the more we create.

And then there is satisfaction. This results in a wholeness. Desire – Belief and then Satisfaction. It’s like the completion of a beautiful unit, something that can’t be achieved when there’s a part missing. 

Side note; a powerful signal of desire is the emotion of jealousy. Turning it into bitterness and angst towards another person is jealousy used incorrectly. Using it to recognise desire, is exactly the way it should be used. I like jealousy as much as I like the feeling of being hungry because it means that my insides want something, the very core of me. It means that it’s not just a made up thing that my brain or society tells me I need. 

Many years ago I recognised that I was jealous of people who taught others to be brilliant. I wanted to do that. I have desired the creation of this programme forever. I told my sister in law about it 23 years ago. 17 years ago, I tried to convince an old employer that the key to our success was the cultivation of our people’s brilliance. They sniggered, patted me on the head and sent me on my way. Fool them, because I was right. 

Seven years ago I started. Truth be told, I didn’t have much belief. In those days I had too much to work through, but man did I desire. I used that desire to fuel everything. As the programme formed, my belief developed. As it worked, my belief started evening up with my desire. And then the satisfaction began. 

I learnt when I attempted to borrow belief, It doesn’t turn into the fulfilment of desire. Borrowed belief meant that I was always chasing more. Which then meant that the feeling of satisfaction didn’t kick in. Damn. 

So, here’s the trifecta. 

I’ve always desired this and it drove me to create. 

My belief has to be cultivated by me. Not borrowed off anyone else. Belief is to be built. But it also can be eroded. So you have to look at both. Like building an incredible programme but not owning and communicating your stories - that erodes belief. 

And when belief and desire come together, you know it, because you feel the same satisfaction that you did when you stole your brothers bike!

I’ve recently created a new brand, to wrap up my trifecta. It communicates what I have always desired - to create a programme that empowers us humans to be brilliant. It tells the story of how I’ve built the belief, how I’ve made it possible, through the creation of a programme that enables us to understand ourselves. And I’ve ensured that this belief gets stronger every single day, by owning the stories and the impact it’s having – the ripple effect. 

This brand should radiate the satisfaction that is the result of this achievement. It should celebrate and champion, and best of all, show off what’s been created, the fruition of my desire and the development of my belief that I can do this. 

Ha. Fancy that, I did it! Go check us out at www.geniusyou.co.nz, and if you are after help with your very own trifecta, come and see me.