The Truth About Cold Referrals

I got a couple of cold messages recently asking me for referrals directly, like "Hey man, can you help with a referral? I saw that Bank of China posted a job today that seems to be a good fit for my background".

As an international student, I understand how difficult it is to land a career here with language barriers, culture shock, and visa challenges. But here's the thing – and I say this with a ton of empathy – shooting off cold messages for referrals isn't the best move. It's not about not wanting to help, but there's so much more to building networks that work for everyone involved.

1. The Personal Touch Is Missing: When you seek a referral without an existing rapport, it can seem transactional. I even walked into a networking coffee chat with someone asking me to give a price to refer him. The absence of a personal connection often translates to a lack of conviction in the referral, making a meaningful introduction unlikely. You might get an OA if you are lucky enough. But trust me, getting an OA doesn't mean anything in the current job market.
2. Staking Reputation: A referral is a badge of trust. If I take a leap of faith to vouch for someone, I stake my reputation on their performance. And I will never risk my career reputation to refer someone I don't know, or I don't trust. If they fall short, it's not just their credibility that takes a hit, but mine as well.
3. Playing the Odds: The numbers don't lie – cold referrals usually don't yield the same results as building meaningful connections. Trust is the backbone of a successful referral. Without it, the referral lacks the weight needed to tip the scales in your favor.
4. The Value Exchange: The goal of professional networking is never to get a "referral." The purpose should be to build meaningful connections. Learn through others' current projects and day-to-day work to develop proper domain knowledge, lay out your career plan, and even future coaching and mentorship.

So, what's the alternative?

Invest time in cultivating a robust professional network. Engage authentically, participate in industry forums, and contribute meaningfully to conversations.

1. Have a proper profile: Stop using your Pikachu as your profile picture. Using the intro section properly shows people who you are, not what class you have taken.
2. Be genuine: Stop using a script. Customize your initiation message based on the connector's profile. Intro yourself and explain why you want to build connections in this community and what you want to get out of it.
3. Ask meaningful questions: Prepare some good questions to understand others' career motivation and inspiration better. Dive deeper into what they are currently working on. What role do they play in the project? Any tips for someone who wants to step into a similar field?
4. Bring it offline: If the conversation goes well and you are gaining tons of value out of it. Propose to bring the conversations offline proactively. Take the initiative to schedule a networking call, virtual coffee chat, or in-person coffee chat. It doesn't need to be super long. 15-30 minutes of face-to-face interactions will help you enhance the relationship tremendously.

Building Bridges, Not Just Collecting Contacts

As we steer through our professional journeys, it's not the quantity of our connections that matters most, but the quality. Authenticity in networking doesn't just prepare the ground for referrals; it nurtures a community of colleagues who support and grow with you. Personally, I benefit tremendously from building meaningful networks. Two weeks after graduating from my MBA program, I got two referrals from my mentor, whom I met through networking and a LinkedIn contact. So before you reach out, reach within – to cultivate the professionalism and expertise that makes your network eager to refer you, not out of obligation, but out of genuine respect and trust.