The Truth About Being "Perfect". ???The Perfectionism Trap???
My Happy Place ( Training students at St. Joseph's Eng College, Kerala)

The Truth About Being "Perfect". ???The Perfectionism Trap???

Ever felt fear and regret holding you back? You're not alone.

Breaking Free From Perfectionism: How I Transformed Fear Into Fuel


Ever felt fear and regret holding you back? You're not alone.

That voice telling you "I am not good enough yet"? It's not your friend. It's fear.

Perfectionism isn't ambition in disguise. It's FEAR wearing a business suit.

The BIG LIE: "I just have high standards" ?

The TRUTH: You're terrified of being seen as flawed ?

Your perfectionism isn't helping you shine.

It's keeping you stuck and unhappy.

Do you Agree?


My Personal Journey: From Paralyzed to Purposeful

Fear and Regret can hold you back if..

You don't stay on target and be bold in your actions.

I remember this picture of 2018. I was feeling burnt out....

Denzel Washington says, "You only live once, so do what you feel passionate about!"

Staring at a photo of myself from 2018. I wasn't truly happy.

I was visibly burnt out, trapped in a toxic job that drained my energy and purpose.

I knew I needed change, but something kept me frozen.

Despite this realization, I wasted three more years living on autopilot before finally taking action in 2021.

What held me back? ?? Perfectionism, fear of failure, and fear of the unknown.

When I finally broke through these barriers in 2021, something remarkable happened.

I went from that toxic job to running my own successful coaching business in less than 12 months.

The transformation wasn't just professional—it was a complete mindset revolution.


The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

But here's what I discovered: positive thinking alone doesn't create change.

Brad Aeon, PhD , once said: "Positive thinking does not necessarily lead to actions." And he's right.

James Clear in Atomic Habits said: "Winners and losers have the same goals, so you should instead focus on embodying the habits of the person you wish to become"

What truly transformed my life were two powerful mental techniques I learnt from Dr Ben Hardy that went beyond simple positivity.

It's true as well (Let's do this, Instead of just Counting Your Blessings)

Visual Image Credit : Michael J Boorman

Two Science-Backed Techniques That Changed My Life

???????????? ?????????????????????? (MS) + ???????????? ?????????????????????? (MC) makes gratitude feel real! says Benjamin Hardy, PhD

Go Beyond Gratitude Lists says Dr. Hardy! (P.S- This isn't your average gratitude advice!)

Mental Subtraction boosts appreciation by visualizing the absence of what you have.

Remember,

When you visualize the absence of what you have, you'll appreciate what you have

It's a proven scientific way to shift your mindset and cultivate genuine gratitude.

?????????? ??????: Work on transforming Your Dreams into Reality with Mental Contrasting:

Mental contrasting connects the gap between your current reality and your desired future goal.

When you acknowledge and plan for the potential challenges ahead, you increase your chances of achieving your goals.

How to practice Mental Constrasting?

  1. ?????????? ??????:? (Visualize your desired future)

Take a moment to clearly imagine your future.

  1. ???????????????? ????????????????????:? (What are the obstacles that could prevent you from achieving it)

What challenges might stand in your way?

  1. ???????? ???? ??????????????:? (Create specific plans to tackle each obstacle)

Create specific action plans to overcome each obstacle.

Register for my workshop: www.fatimawilliams.me/register

Here's How Mental Subtraction Works

  1. Pick Something Important:?Close your eyes, think of someone you love,?a possession you cherish,?or an achievement you're proud of.
  2. Imagine the absence:?Now,?picture your life if this thing were gone.?How would things be different?
  3. Feel the Difference:?Notice how your mood and perspective shift with the imagined loss.
  4. Appreciate the gain:?Finally,?open your eyes and focus on the relief and joy of having this thing in your life.
  5. Repeat:?Do this exercise with different aspects of your life you may take for granted.


The 4 Hidden Fears Behind Perfectionism

I want you to have a conversation with yourself today!

As Taylor Swift powerfully reminds us: "You cannot let it crush you. You have to let it fuel you."

Behind that perfectionist tendency are four fundamental fears:

4 REAL feelings hiding behind "perfect":

  1. Fear of failure (I'll be exposed) ??What if I fail? ??
  2. Fear of rejection (I'll be abandoned) ??What if people leave me? ??
  3. Fear of judgment (I'll be ridiculed) ??What if everyone laughs at me???
  4. Fear of inadequacy (I am not enough) ??What if I'm just not enough? ??

The eye-opening truth? ??

Happy, successful people SHARE their messy work! They ?????????????? imperfection.

?????????????? comes when you realize:Perfect is the enemy of done.

Done is the path to growth.

?? Let go of "perfect" Embrace "done and learning"- Watch yourself grow

You can do it, if you believe you can - Hill

Your Next Step: Breaking Free

"Within your power lies the ability to make right the fears and failures within you." - Fatima Williams

Hi ?? , I'm?@Fatima Williams Here's a challenge:

Type #ChallengeAccepted and comment below how this article inspired you?

If you're ready to break free from perfectionism and transform your career, I'm here to help.

Join our community

Remember this: If you are afraid, you can always approach a coach or a mentor for knowledge and support, but you must take that first step.

As your LinkedIn Co-Pilot for Career & Brand Growth, I offer personalized 121 guidance to help you overcome the fears holding you back.

As Les Brown powerfully states: "Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is YOU who will get you where you want to go, no one else."

??REPOST THIS ?? to help others grow.-----

To?Your?Intentional?Success,

Fatima Williams

What I'd love for you to do now - Next Steps

Please like, share, and comment on this post. Share your thoughts on the topic as well.

Enjoyed this article? Give it a thumbs up ??, leave a comment below ??, and ?? share with your network.

I'd highly appreciate it! ?? If you missed my Linkedin post for today read it below

https://www.dhirubhai.net/posts/dreamcareercoach_the-1-mistake-that-kills-job-applications-activity-7303322715543781376-Z4dZ/


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Stay beautiful and blessed ??


Author's Note & Credits

The concepts of Mental Subtraction and Mental Contrasting presented in this article are based on established psychological research:

Mental Subtraction is derived from research by Dr. Koo and colleagues (2008) on "The Dark Side of Gratitude" and subsequent studies on counterfactual thinking, which demonstrate how imagining the absence of positive events can enhance appreciation.

Mental Contrasting was developed by Dr. Gabriele Oettingen and is detailed in her book "Rethinking Positive Thinking" (2014). This technique has been validated through numerous studies showing its effectiveness in goal achievement.

Quotes are attributed to their respective authors:

  • Denzel Washington
  • Brad Aeon, PhD
  • James Clear (Atomic Habits)
  • Taylor Swift
  • Les Brown

The perfectionism framework and personal experiences are drawn from my own journey and professional practice as a career coach. Any unattributed concepts are either my original thoughts or represent widely accepted principles in the fields of positive psychology and personal development.

This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional psychological advice.


Ruth Fernandes

A passionate Search & Selection Professional

3 天前

Thank you, Fatima Williams. A thought provoking article!

回复
Saifullah Shaukat

Co-Founder @Lead4s Global | Expert Web Developer | Graphic Designer | Business Strategist | Cricket Athlete

3 天前

Fatima, your journey is so inspiring! It's amazing how those psychological techniques can shift our mindset from fear to action. I think many of us can relate to that feeling of being stuck in perfectionism. What was the biggest challenge you faced when you started implementing these methods?

Fatima Williams (Assoc. CIPD HR) ?

LinkedIn Co-Pilot, Career Coach & MENA Recruiter. I Help Senior Executives Hit LinkedIn Home Runs ? Build Authority, Secure Your Dream Job +?? Clients | 3,500+ Stories | DM For 1:1 Coaching (Link in Bio)??

3 天前

Brad Aeon, PhD you are quoted in this article. Thank you ??

?? Dennis Pitocco

CHIEF REIMAGINATOR | 360° NATION | KEYNOTER

3 天前

Right on target, my friend. In my experience, we feel paralyzed by perfectionism—fear disguised as high standards. By practicing Mental Subtraction (appreciating what we have by imagining its absence) and Mental Contrasting (planning for obstacles between our reality and goals), we transform our professional lives. Breaking free from fears of failure, rejection, judgment, and inadequacy, we discover that "perfect is the enemy of done, and done is the path to growth." Our liberation comes when we embrace imperfection and take action.

Mohsin Khan (CHRP-CHRM)

Certified HR Professional | Public Relations|UAE-Labor Law-MOHRE|KHDA-Approved|CPD-UK Accredited

3 天前

Insightful ??. Thank you Fatima Williams (Assoc. CIPD HR) ?

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