The Truth About Admiring Success
Brian Ford
Using personal development to fundraise for charity | Self-Improvement Podcaster (20+ million downloads) | Social Impact Leader (Nonprofit founder at For Purpose Foundation)
Holy smokes! Lean in and pay extra attention to this one because in the last few days it idea has changed my life.
Tom Bilyeu, the founder of Impact Theory and one of the most respected minds in personal development today, shared a game-changing insight. As someone who has made hundreds of millions of dollars and has an incredible amount of influence, Bilyeu lives a life that many people admire (myself included). But having seen success in so many different forms, he warns us that becoming successful and trading the life you’ve always wanted for the life you have doesn’t affect you like you think it would.
He says that we fall into this dangerous trap. Many people don’t feel accomplished, deserving, or capable living their lives today. They don’t give credit to the success they’ve achieved and work doggedly to be more like the people they admire. They attach their present happiness, fulfillment, and worthiness to the idea that one day they will achieve more.
They believe that when they become the person that they look at with admiration, they will feel that same admiration for themselves.
That is simply not the case. The insecurities and thought patterns you have now will be the same then. Until you internally update your psychology, it will govern your life in the very same way it always has regardless of external circumstances. Your admiration of others is a representation of who you long to be, and you will continue to feel incomplete until you change the nature of that relationship.
David Meltzer once taught me the solution to this - He said instead of admiring someone, which creates a sense of lack and separation from what you desire, be inspired by them. Let their example teach you that if they did it, you can too. No matter who you are or what you accomplish, you will always find someone to look up to and feel inferior to unless you do the work to overcome it.
So get to work on that and you’ll find that you might not need something more to feel genuinely fulfilled and happy. Think about someone you admire and ask yourself. ‘Why?’ What is it about them that creates desire within yourself, and what’s the nature of that desire?
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Loved "internally update your psychology" - feeling repressed by the "tyranny of should" is self-defeating. The only solution is integrating this aspect and like, you wrote, "internally update your psychology.