Trusting ourselves

We all know that trust is a must have in our important professional and personal relationships, but trust tends to be a vague concept.

To help us have meaningful conversations about trust Brené Brown shares the BRAVING inventory. This is not a trust model per se, but a conversational tool that we can use to have meaningful conversations with the people in our lives about trust.

The BRAVING Inventory - Brené Brown

You can download a copy of the inventory here - https://brenebrown.com/workbook-art-pics-glossary/

BOUNDARIES: Setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why.

RELIABILITY: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.

ACCOUNTABILITY: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.

VAULT: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share.

INTEGRITY: Choosing courage over comfort; choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy; and practicing your values, not just professing them.

NON-JUDGMENT: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment.

GENEROSITY: Extending the most generous interpretation to the intentions, words, and actions of others.

Trust in coaching

We talk a lot about trust in coaching, building trust with our clients and in the relationship between us. What I think we don't talk about enough is self-trust, and the BRAVING inventory applies here too.

Self-trust is the confidence you have in your own abilities, decisions, and inner wisdom. It involves believing that you can rely on yourself to navigate challenges, make sound choices, and stay true to your values. It means having faith in your judgment, even in the face of uncertainty or external opinions. Self-trust also includes being compassionate with yourself when mistakes occur, knowing that you are capable of learning and growing from them.

Using the BRAVING Inventory to explore your self-trust

Using the inventory to reflect on past setbacks or disappointments can help you to assess how that experience may have impacted your self-trust.

For example:

• When a coaching session with a client does not go as well as you hoped
• When a client 'ghosts' you
• When a client responds defensively when you offer challenge
• When a difficult topic or an ethical issue arises during a session
• When the client 'blames' you or the coaching for not achieving their desired outcome

Work through the BRAVING inventory using the reflective questions below.

BOUNDARIES

Did I respect my own boundaries? Was I clear about what was okay and what was not okay?

RELIABILITY

Was I reliable? Can I count on myself to do what I committed to doing?

ACCOUNTABILITY

Did I hold myself accountable? Did I blame others? Did I hold others accountable with honesty and respect?

VAULT

Did I respect the confidentiality of the relationship? Did I share appropriately?

INTEGRITY

Did I act from my integrity? Did I choose courage over comfort? Did I choose what's right over what's fun, fast and easy? Did I practice my values?

NON-JUDGMENT

Did I ask for what I needed? Was I non-judgemental about needing help?

GENEROSITY

Was I generous toward myself?

Now get curious

What did you learn about this situation?

What did you learn about yourself?

Which elements of BRAVING are strengths for you?

Which elements of BRAVING need more work?

What might you do to strengthen those elements that need work in the future?

And if you would benefit from a thinking partner to support you to strengthen your self-trust, then reach out. I am here and you are not alone.