Trust Your Gut

From a public post, shared on Facebook, about identifying emotional abuse:

"I was having a conversation not too long ago with a friend in a relatively new relationship. She had some ambiguous feelings about her new BF. He was asking her to do some things that seemed innocent but just didn't sit right with her. I shared with her the most vivid memory I have of an abusive emotional relationship.

My partner and I were getting ready to go somewhere together with friends. I was dressed and ready to go. It was summer, and warm outside. My partner looked at me and said, "I think you should wear your hair the way I like it, half up and half down." I replied, "not today; it is warm out and I get hot when any of of it is on my neck, so I prefer to leave it up." The ensuing vitriol shocked me at the time, but it is the first time I truly saw and recognized an example of what a controlling, abusive partner looks like. Everything from "it's a simple request I'm asking for" to "don't you just want to do ONE little thing that makes ME happy?"

It was an innocuous request, but turned into a battle for control. It was the first time I actually recognized it and led me to start looking more closely at how my partner acted/reacted/behaved. So, if you are ever in a relationship and something doesn't feel quite right but you cannot put your finger on it, don't dismiss your instincts. Your subconscious may be trying to tell you something VERY IMPORTANT. Emotional abuse is much more insidious than physical abuse, but the scars last MUCH longer and are harder to heal.

If you ever want a sympathetic ear, I am happy to listen. This may also happen in non-romantic/social settings, including professional/work settings or even with family. #abuse #emotionalabuse #mentalhealth"