Trust … a week long experiment

Some months ago, I spent a week in nature with a group of persons coming from all over the world. The structure of this week was loose and the objectives quite wide. And we all had expectations that vary from one person to the other. Each person was really willing and happy to be present, me too!

Little by little I understood that there were what I call “nested” systems in our big group: the founders, the oldies, the newbies, the paid facilitators, … this was unspoken and the impact was not really managed by the facilitators. This invisible structure within the group added to the lack of clarity and impacted the trust.

The start of the week was pretty smooth & easy and after a couple of days the first turbulences due to misalignment, different interests or perspectives appeared.

It was amazing to observe how people reacted to those turbulences and their impact on our group: denial, avoidance, surprise, judgement, rejection, acceptance, gossips … etc, plus a wide range of emotions.

Integrity … 

I was part of what some others called “rebellion” and my perspective on that was of course very different: from the bottom of my heart, I was willing to make the unseen/unspoken visible, to help the group grow together, to focus on the collective. But I had an unintended impact and was perceived as lacking trust in the process and the facilitators.

When I became aware of what was happening, I took some time to reflect as different options were possible: react and judge, react and explain/argue, leave the group, drawback/avoid … or respond and blend.

Yes, I partially initiated the turbulences and I know, from my experience as a system worker, that I was just a voice of the system … and the system was calling for change and clarity.

So I stayed, responded and blended by taking responsibility for what has been created, by being vulnerable and by bringing what was needed.

I know that some persons will probably take months to really understand what happened or maybe never will, but I couldn’t compromise the integrity and impeccability just for being accepted by everyone.

Fear … 

I understood that the fear, present and unspoken, in the group was coming from not knowing: what will happen? It always worked like that before? Change for what? …

It became very clear to me that the trust that was present in the group was not a “full trust”. 

Trusting only when the environment or the context is known and not trusting in an unknown environment … is not really trust.

When everything is known: the process, the people, the expected outcomes … it’s easy to trust yourself and others. But when the context is changing, the outcome becomes uncertain, the process is not operating so well, some people are not aligned … it’s much more difficult to trust yourself & others.

What will happen? Will I be able to go through this? Will they reject me? Will we be able to move forward together? Will it be a success? … etc.

Lesson …

The main lesson for me and for some others persons in the group is that it takes a lot of courage to stay when turbulences arise, to trust & stay true to yourself in those conditions and still be at service for the others with an open heart.

Trust can only be measured in the unknown!