Trust, but Verify... Especially Yourself

You’ve heard the sage wisdom that says… Trust, but verify.

In other words, pretend to take things at face value, but do your homework. Don’t let the process stop there. It’s your responsibility to do your own research and vet the information. 

What it means is… DON’T TRUST. 

That’s a bummer.

The other day, I saw a post on social media sharing an article and below it popped up an automatic FACT CHECK button. I’m thinking… NICE.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a ‘fact check’ option in every meeting? 

The problem is… I don’t want to fact check. I want to BELIEVE, even with people I have (questionable) experience with. 

Unfortunately, the most QUESTIONABLE experience I have with reliable information is the info I get from the VOICES in my head! 

Maybe I should start fact-checking the Head-Trash before I run off and let those assumptions ruin my day. 

Lies & Assumptions & Fears (Oh My)

I was nearly 40 before I realized how untrustworthy my head trash is. I ‘believed’ the voices in my head were intuitive sources of truth I could trust. It never occurred to me that even when I was emboldened by hubris it was really a lie.

I was the guy on the other end of the spectrum. I didn’t typically struggle with negative self-talk, I was sabotaged by its conversion into fairy tales because I needed everyone to like me, assumed I had to perform constantly to EARN it and was terrified that if I couldn’t meet expectations, I had no value at all.  

Maybe you’ve shared some part of that experience. Maybe you’re feeling it today.

Here’s my advice.

TRUST, BUT VERIFY. Especially with yourself.  

Show Your Work

Ever try to tell your teacher in school that you did that math problem ‘in your head’? Maybe it was simple and the answer was correct, but that never worked for me when I was growing up. They always wanted to SEE my work. 

Why do we need to show our work? 

It’s important to share it because the process itself is what we’re going for. Not always the answer. It’s the same issue with everything we do in our own head. We need outside corroboration that we’re on the right track, that we’ve made proper assumptions and we got the answer using repeatable steps we can build on to get even bigger and more complex answers.  

NOTE TO SELF: If I’m building the bigger, more complex and crucial answer of life on the base-line thoughts and assumptions I have about myself (sometimes), we might all be in trouble. 

But, what can I do about it? How can I show my work AND who would grade it for me?  

Blind-Spots are your secret weapon

We’ve got Blind-Spots. I suppose I should have led with that fact. It really deserves its own article. And here’s a little SECRET about Blind-Spots. You can’t see them. That’s why they call them Blind-Spots. (thought I’d throw a little wisdom in there for credibility).

Here are a few little tidbits I’ve learned over the years.

·        We love our words, our thoughts and our moments of genius. We want everyone to love them too.

·        We hate being wrong. 

·        We need validation (almost constantly)

·        If it was our idea, we defend it (even once we realize it’s stupid)

·        Vulnerability is the key to collaboration and true teamwork (but we avoid it)

·        We depend on accidental success and pretend it was our plan

Reality check: If we trust our head-trash and fail to verify through vulnerability and collaboration, it’s impossible to live our best lives.  

Isolation is the Enemy of Excellence. 

How does that help you? How does it work? Do you always have to show your work?  

Head-Trash and the Decision-Making Process

Here’s the simple way to VERIFY the foundational work of your Decision-Making Process. 

(Don’t blink, or you might miss it.)

Surround yourself with a few trusted-advisors and ASK THEM to fact check your assumptions, beliefs and (of course) your Head-Trash. 

No, it’s not easy to find the right people.

Yes, they’ll expect you to do the same for them. 

And when it’s up and running, you better believe every area of your life gets better because they’re all influenced by the lies, assumptions, and fears that have been leaking into your decision-making process. 

It’s time to apply the fundamental decision-making necessity of “Trust, but Verify” to yourself and build on a foundation that can fulfill your highest created purpose. 

If you don’t have access to a high-level team who will help you see your blind-spots without inserting their own agenda into the process, I’d love to chat with you about My Practice Zone. It’s a place where leaders practice to become their best and they do it outside the vacuum of their own head and can break from the typical environments where you’re hearing only what you expect to hear.  

Great leaders always have places to mastermind. That’s how we grow. If you’re interested to know more, check us out at www.noheadtrash.com or text YATES (that’s my name) to 474747 for more information. 

Your mission is great and you’re the right person to lead it. Experience the most rapid way to clarity and momentum by VERIFYING your intel first. 

Remember, you’ll PERFORM exactly how you Train.  

Just a few words from My Practice Zone.  

Greg is a business owner, speaker, podcaster, best-selling author, and coach who helps people move past circumstance to calling, beyond brokenness to breakthrough. Greg Believes that "Circumstances Lie" about what's possible and that brokenness is the opportunity for Breakthrough in your life, your business, and your people. 

Greg has been a business owner for more than 35 years, owning as many as 14 businesses at one time with almost a thousand employees. Greg has experienced great success and EPIC failure, including the loss of more than 50 million dollars in the 2008 Real Estate crisis and spending almost a year in prison.

Greg is the international Best-Selling author of

·        Broken – how being broken unlocked the greatest success of my life

·        Overcoming the 10 Common Fears all leaders face.

·        The Breakthrough – a leadership fable breaking through the 4 barriers that hold teams back

·        A Journey of Significance – the Story of Albert Diepeveen – a successful leader, mentor, and friend who taught him to move from Success to Significance. 

… and the exciting release of his 5th book, titled “Circumstances Lie”, ‘The 5 Lies about defining moments, vulnerability, and the power of your story to change the world.’

Greg is a keynote speaker in businesses and churches, hosts the No Head-Trash Podcast and a Facebook group called, “The No Head Trash Nation” Greg also leads The Practice Zone Mastermind, a small group forum where leaders connect as trusted advisors to grow in every area of life and leadership.