Trust is a Two-Way Street

If you want your team to trust you as a leader, you’re going to have to trust them first.

Trust is fundamentally a two-way street - and if the team sees their trust only going in one direction, eventually there will be no trust at all. They will get frustrated if their trust is not reciprocated, eventually becoming resentful and disengaged.

This Friday, 11/8 at 12 noon ET, I’ll be talking about the ideas in this article. Check out the WEBINAR: The Goal of Leadership - The Role of Trust in Growing Your Team.

So why not start with the direction that you can actually control? You have much more say over whether you trust your team than if over their trust of you.

“But,” you might say, “I can’t trust my team.” “They make mistakes.” “They slack off.” “They don’t understand.” “They don’t know what I know.” “I’m the only one that gets it.”

All of that may be true, but here’s the only question that matters, “What are you going to do about it?” You’re the one in charge - so it’s your problem (even if it isn’t your fault.)

And you can’t ignore the problem, because they know you don’t trust them. So they don’t trust you.

“But, I’ve never told them.” You might reply.

Right. When you redid their work. Or you jumped in and said, “let me take it from here.” Surely they didn’t catch any of the underlying vibe that you didn’t have faith in their ability to do it on their own?

Let’s be honest. They know and eventually they will just give up trying.

Or you can change the trust dynamic. Here are a few things to consider the next time you find yourself wondering why your team doesn’t seem to trust you and you don’t trust them:

1. “The goal of leadership is creating the conditions where you trust your team to make the right decisions even when you’re not there.” In other words, if you don’t trust your team now, what are you going to change so that you will trust them in the future. Train them? Coach them? Improve processes so getting it right is easier? Help them learn to evaluate their work the way you do? This, by the way, is the opposite of jumping in and doing it for them. This approach requires you to constantly examine the gap between what your team does and what you need them to do. Then, it puts the accountability and responsibility of closing that gap squarely on you. The result is a team with much more capacity to get things done and deliver results.
2. “Delegation is a leap of faith - not faith that your team will always get it right, but that they will make mistakes and learn from them .” You have to start trusting your team before you or they are ready. So the question is, “what can you trust them to do, right now?” They can be trusted to put in effort, to want to do the right thing, to ask for help, to be willing to learn. If the tasks at hand just can’t tolerate mistakes, then break them down into steps, create processes that avoid mistakes, or start projects with enough time for course corrections at every step. If you don’t do this, you still won’t trust your people a year from now, and they still won’t trust you either. You will still be mired in trying to do their work and no one will be happy. (See this past article for more on this topic.)
3. “If you focus on their growth instead of your success, you will end up with both.” When you truly trust in your team’s ability to learn and grow, you will constantly act in ways that help them become better at their roles. As the team sees that your actions are based on a genuine desire to support them, they will become more motivated to trust and support you and your goals.

Take ownership of the trust problem, become comfortable with the messy process of learning, and create a culture of continuous growth.

Trust will ultimately build trust - a virtuous cycle. Which is a lot better than the alternative, a vicious cycle of frustration, distrust, and constant fire fighting.

Connect here on LinkedIn get more news, posts, and articles. Learn more about my book at JeffSigel.com or on Amazon (The Middle Matters: A Toolkit for Middle Managers ,) Or reach out to me at [email protected] if you’re interested in training for your middle leaders or coaching for yourself.