Trust to Be Trusted, Trust Is Earned, Given, Sustained or Eroded

The reason you have to say "Trust me" is that you haven't earned it and are forced to ask for it.

Trust isn’t something that just happens in a relationship. It has to be earned by proving your character over and over. Even in a marriage, trust cannot be demanded. It must be earned over time. As a spouse, one of your primary tasks is to become trustworthy.

Trust is relying on the integrity or ability of another person. Your ability to truly trust someone is based on their character, not yours. Trust is earned, not freely given. That’s why every spouse needs to work hard to earn trust from their spouse every day.

When someone you love betrays you, you experience a different kind of heartbreak — one that feels almost impossible to recover from —

Questions that come to your mind when you find out — why they would do this to you?

Did I do something wrong?

Cheating and betrayal can happen for a lot of reasons, but in almost all of those, you are not the problem. They crossed a line and broke your trust, and it's hard to know if your relationship can be mended or fixed again.

Once someone shows their true colors by breaking your heart and they lose that trust that made your relationship or friendship what it was, it is not up to them whether or not things can be the same again.

It is your decision to ultimately decide if you want to keep them in your life.

Can you trust them again after they betrayed you?

You are not entitled to stay with someone — no matter how long you've known them or how much you care for them — and if the time has come to leave that relationship, that's up to you.

How can someone who says they love you break your trust in a way that's unforgiveable?

To go behind someone's back and do something you know will intentionally hurt them is not okay, and it never will be.

There are so many resources you can go to when you have had your trust broken.

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you?…Whether that be reading an article that resonates with you, or you listening to music with sad songs and lyrics about breakups so you can cry it out on your own — or maybe you need to get lost in a new murder mystery novel — each of us deals with betrayal and heartbreak in our own unique way, so do what you need to do to heal.

"I'll never trust him again. It's over!"

"I've been hurt one to many times, you have to earn my trust back from now on!"

"How could you steal from me, I've given you everything?"

Trust, a deep-rooted, powerful feeling and if broken, is often times never restored. And if trust is restored, is the relationship ever the same?

The word TRUST has so much POWER. We give it so much meaning...

What if we created new meaning to the word trust?

I think a better descriptive might be to say that to sustain trust, it must be constantly earned, or else it has tendency to erode.

To build trust, we must give trust first. I have read that we naturally give a baseline of trust to others we meet. I’m suggesting we do this more actively, so it can begin a healthy cycle of earning sustained levels of trust in general. If we are overly suspicious and untrusting of others, we can propagate a stalemate.

Do you want to add a word or two?....

Trust is Two-way

Earning trust, alone feels too one-way to me. We naturally want trust to go both ways among us. Businesses and customers. We as individuals want to trust each other. We earn trust with our own actions. We must also trust others – first.

If we wait to be trusted first, the wait may be long. If we trust first, we set a start point from which we can earn more. We engage another’s interest in trusting us in return.

Trust can neither be demanded, nor assumed. I think this starts in the middle, when initial trust has been exchanged, and the two-way benchmark has broken down. It is difficult but we collectively need to all trust the other more, if we are going to recover.

We must also deliver on the promise of that trust. Where else can we go?

Who else can we trust?

Your Comments……

Start the Trust Is Earned Cycle, Give, Earn and Sustain Trust

To earn trust, trust others first – give your trust. To do this, if you are a business, exceed customers’ expectations by trusting them with better products and services than they expect. By giving trust and delivering on the expectations that trust sets, one earns back trust in return.

Earn trust through listening, action and communication. Deliver on what you say you will deliver, and focus on others, the customer or the greater good. Ensure sincerity when making decisions and saying what you are going to do, doing it and following through.

Sustaining trust is to recognize that earning trust is a constant of the same nature that change is. It takes diligent and deep pervasive development of a trust-sustaining culture in individuals and organizations. Social transparency in the social era will clearly reveal insincerity around earning and sustaining trust between people, businesses and customers, and governments and constituents.

When Trust Erodes

Trust can erode for a number of reasons. Some we can control, others we may not. A culture of building trust has a better chance of avoiding erosion.

When it happens, publicly accept responsibility for mistakes. Excuses will only erode trust further. Demonstrate commitment to corrective action. Collective will and organizational horsepower to rebuild, through giving and earning trust is the only way to reverse damage caused by any misstep that erodes trust.

I hear it already, the outlier case where giving trust will inevitably produce failure. I’m not suggesting that one be reckless in taking risk by trusting others who cannot handle the trust given.

I think a better descriptive might be to say that to sustain trust, it must be constantly earned, or else it has tendency to erode. Clearly, the news today gives us reason not to trust other people, other businesses, our government officials, and more. We all own the responsibility to change that. To build trust, we must give trust first.

Clearly, when trust is broken, appropriate measures must be taken. It could be that we lower our own offered trust, until the balance is rebuilt and strengthened – by both parties.

You may believe in the inherent goodness of people, while someone else may think people are tricky and can’t be trusted.

You may believe that life is inherently difficult and everyone should get what they can over anyone else.

You may believe that people can change for the better while another person may think otherwise. This can apply to personal values as well. Have you thought about what your personal values are?

Are you committed to excellence?

Do you believe in balancing your life around work and leisure or just work or just leisure?

Are you calculating about your finances and spending or are you easy-going about it?

This question can also be an abstract belief about life, love, relationships, and your personal place in the world

Trust is like love. If you don’t give it first, you will not get it back. Take this seriously – this means YOU, not the other guy.

Where can you start a cycle giving, earning and sustaining trust?

How can you lead by example, delivering on trust?expectations?of others?

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