Trust In People

Trust is like blood pressure. It's silent, vital to good health, and if abused it can be deadly. It takes a lot of truth to gain trust but just one lie to lose it all. I trusted you but now your words mean nothing because your actions spoke the truth.

If you are someone who has suffered at the hands of betrayal, trust issues becomes even further magnified. It’s hard to trust someone, especially when you know that you are replaceable and so is everyone else. It’s all about give and take.

Everything is a deal. If someone’s with you today, it’s because they might be benefiting something out of you. People have better choices so they would definitely chase the alternatives. However, sometimes we do need to trust people.

Those people who deserve your trust. There are people who have better alternatives and yet they choose to be with you. You need to trust these kind of people. Let Go of Your Fear and Let Your Guard Down. By guarding yourself constantly and closing doors for others, you are hurting yourself.

Life is short. Make it colourful. Stay away from bad colours. Learn to identify a person before they hurt you.

Trust is a fragile thing. You’ve probably heard that before. You’ve also probably heard trust is earned, not given. Or trust is everything. Or maybe even trust is like an eraser; it gets smaller with every mistake.

Regardless, the idea of trust is the most basic, yet essential part of every single relationship. It is the spine, the backbone of what it means to love another person.

When you trust someone, you allow yourself to be vulnerable. You let that person in. You give that person your heart, your entire soul, and believe, despite all of the crap in the world, that they will take care of it.

You watch that person walk away and you have confidence that they are respectable and won’t go throwing themselves around or flirting behind your back or opening themselves to any other human besides you.

But the thing about trust, is that it relies so much on the unknown. It is a testament of faith that despite the odds and no matter what the world says, you believe the person you love will do you no harm.

In today’s world, trust is difficult. It’s either given too freely, or withheld too much. Oftentimes a person gets hurt, thus they put up that don’t-mess-with-me wall. This is understandable, right? (To some extent.) When we are broken, we are bitter.

We don’t want to let someone else in, even if that person looks like an angel because we know about fallen angels.

We know about heartbreak.

We know how it feels to be crushed, shattered, damaged, betrayed. So we don’t trust.

We keep ourselves closed like little roly-poly bugs, folding inside ourselves as soon as we might be close enough to really feel something.

After time, we open. Layer by layer, to love. We learn how it feels to love someone again, but we still don’t trust. Not yet. Which is the real problem. You can’t truly love without trust. Any relationship that isn’t built with a secure foundation of faith will break.

So here you are. You are in love with someone that doesn’t trust you. This person pulls you in close, and wants to keep you there, suffocated under the guise of ‘protected’.

They want to know everything about where you’re going, who you’re with, what you’re wearing, why you’re friends with so-and-so and if you’re lying.

Because you’re probably lying, right? (Wrong.) They make you question yourself. They make you doubt yourself. They make you look at the mirror and wonder if you’re as shady of a person as they make you out to be. (You’re not, just so you know.)

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.

Thank you …According to Joe Bavonese, of the Relationship Institute in Royal Oak, Michigan, part of this increase is due to recent technological advances that make it easier for partners to be deceptive, for example, to hide text messages, cell phone call lists, Facebook friends’ messages and emails.

Today, hundreds of blogs, articles, and advice columns offer suggestions designed to help couples resolve troublesome trust issues.

Many questionnaires are available to measure relational trust, (trust in a relationship partner) as well as global trust (trust in human nature). Clearly, trust matters a great deal to a lot of people, especially to those of us who are striving to have a loving, fulfilling relationship

Want to add word or two?

Trust issues in relationships  

In an intimate relationship, trust is all important. Relationship expert Shirley Glass points out that “Intimate relationships are contingent on honesty and openness. They are built and maintained through our faith that we can believe what we are being told. "

In fact, trust could be thought of as the glue that holds a relationship together because it facilitates a positive emotional connection between partners based on affection, love and loyalty.

Mutual trust within happy couples is reinforced by the presence of oxytocin, a neuropeptide in the brain that expedites bonding between a new-born and its mother.

Loving, affectionate, and sexual exchanges between partners also release oxytocin, which, according to some scientists, “makes people trusting not gullible.”

By contrast, mistrust can disrupt even the most loving relationship. There are many situations that occur over the course of a relationship that can generate attitudes of mistrust and suspicion in one or both partners.

Most people respond to deception or lying by a partner in much the same way they reacted to their parent’s lies, dishonesty, and mixed messages.

Your comment ….? 

Mixed messages create an atmosphere of confusion and alienation in couples by breaking down feelings of mutual trust. 

Some people begin to doubt or distrust their partner almost as soon as they become involved because, deep down, they are afraid of intimacy and closeness. 

Others may respond to early indications of duplicity or untrustworthiness in their partner.

For example, a young woman thought her new lover was spending less time with her than before. When she mentioned this, he insisted that he loved her as much as ever. However, his words failed to reassure her, because his actions did not fit his seemingly supportive statements. 

In these cases, it is important for us to give more validity to our partner’s actions rather than relying only on what they say. 

Trust can also be destroyed through a partner’s indifference, criticality, contempt, and rejecting behaviours, both overt and covert.  

A loved one’s secrecy or deceit about abusing alcohol or drugs can obliterate trust. 

Deception and lies about money, family finances, or other hidden agendas can demolish people’s confidence and faith in a mate’s trustworthiness. 

Mistrust, doubts and suspicions are strongly influenced by the critical inner voice.

This destructive thought process is part of the defence system we built as children; it consists of an internal dialogue that is antagonistic to our best interests and cynical toward other people.  

The critical inner voice is the culprit that triggers trust issues in people’s closest relationships. 

Trust is like a vase.. Once it's broken, though you can fix it, the vase will never be same again.